Disciplining your children

From the moment a couple learn that they are expecting a child, their hopes, imaginations and dreams begin to grow. They imagine what their baby will be like and whose qualities he or she will inherit? All these dreams are common and are natural for any parent. They want a good child with all the good qualities and they don't want to accept one with faults.

It's a challenge for all parents to bring up their children in a disciplined way and present a good person to society. Many parents strive hard to discipline their children or toddlers. The goal of disciplining children needs more and more patience. "Anger" is nothing but one letter short of "danger".

One of my friend's younger sons was cleaning his brother's teeth with Surf detergent. He said "yesterday our mom turned a yellow shirt into a white one. I will also turn your yellow teeth to white." Both of them are very small kids so they don't know what one is doing to the another. Most parents do not look after their children very much. When they see that their children are playing, they either they read a magazine or they sit in front of the television. Every parent should set an example as a good parent. Automatically the child will also tend to be a good child. They're nothing but mirrors which reflect whatever is displayed. Never punish or force them to be what you want them to be.

Praise them more and more for their good behavior. If your child gives his toy to another child then praise his act of kindness. Reprimand them as little as possible for their bad behavior. Use the "four to one" rule. For every minute of scolding and nagging, be sure to give them four minutes of praise, smiles and hugs. A child will prefer to take what is more and will automatically reject what is less.

Kids mature at different rates. One may be brainy and might find it easy to learn everything fast. The other might not be so. So never compare children to other children. If your child is less brilliant than others try to find out what is wrong with your child. Parents should fix a separate time with their children and should find out why they are lagging behind. Make your child feel that he is always special to you and tell him that you'll be there behind him for all his success. Never indicate his failures. If you often mention their failures then they may feel that they are inferior. Inferiority complexes will slowly creep in and that will be dangerous at a later stage.

Failures and mistakes are two different things. Indicate their mistakes and ask your child to find out where he went wrong. If your child has won a prize then put that prize in a prominent place in your house. Tell your friends whoever visits your home, that this prize was won by your daughter or your son. The child who hears this will automatically feel happy and will try to achieve more and more. Real life learning is something entirely different. Its exciting too. Take your son or daughter to a museum, the library, the zoo, a radio station, an exhibition, a circus or historical areas. Never try to explain everything as soon as you enter these places. Allow them to enjoy them.

UMA RAMAKRISHNA

Jakarta