Diagnosing the roots of suffering that keep us 'full of life'

By Rahayu Ratnaningsih

JAKARTA (JP): The first Noble Truth: Life is suffering. This sounds pretty dismal, doesn't it? What's even more dismal is that the diagnosis into the causes of our suffering turns out to be the very thing that keeps us "full of life". Namely, desire, which is caused by attachment to our phony sense of identity which is caused by our ignorance and delusional thinking.

Alas, desire is the cause of suffering and the only cure is to curb our desires.

In the words of Henry David Thoreau, "Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts, of life are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind."

My goodness! Does it mean we have to be like vegetables with no ambition whatsoever? No goals? No purpose in life? Are we propagating poverty here? Is this any different than death?

Some people think such a notion is akin to denying life, a means of escape.

The common question I get from the participants of my retreat is "How do we reconcile this notion of asceticism and solitude with the real world, a world rife with competition and struggle? How can I, as a man or woman of the world with obligations to my family, have goals and be free from desire at the same time? How can you be free of attachment and live a normal life -- which means becoming obscenely rich -- at the same time?"

It seems that the two are mutually exclusive, that one must choose either one or the other: be a hermit or live in the real, unforgiving world.

Again, we are so used to partitions. Our categorizing minds are cluttered with boxes and limits; it is always either/or.

Opposites tend to be seen as something real and independent from each other while in fact one can only be defined within the context of the other.

For instance, can you define "up" without reference to "down"? Or can you know anything beautiful without having seen things ugly? Can you explain "outside" without having the knowledge of the concept of "inside"? Can you differentiate the concave line from the convex?

Thus, is this dualism real or just our way of making sense of the world simply for pragmatic purposes?

Lao Tzu, a Taoist philosopher, said that all opposites arise simultaneously and mutually.

In Taoism it is beautifully symbolized by the diagram of yin- yang which is called T'ai-chi T'u or "Diagram of the Supreme Ultimate."

This diagram is a symmetric arrangement of the dark yin and the bright yang, but the symmetry is not static. It is rotational and suggests, very forcefully, a continuous cyclical movement in nature and the cosmos.

Kuei Ku Tzu explained it this way: "The yang returns cyclically to its beginning, the yin attains its maximum and gives place to the yang."

The two dots in the diagram symbolize the idea that each time one of the two forces reaches its extreme, it contains in itself already the seed of its opposite.

So, opposites are fundamentally one experience. Like concave and convex, they come into existence together. Thus, the line "separating" concave from convex in fact unites them since it is wholly shared by both, making it absolutely impossible for the one to exist without the other.

Because of that single line, every time we draw a concave we have also drawn a convex, because the outline of the concave is the inline of the convex.

Not surprisingly, our internal and external worlds are ones of pervading conflict since every boundary we draw is a potential battlefield.

Each time we think in terms of "us versus them": nationalism, religion, gender, race, social strata and various other walls that separate our "unique" selves from others we are planting the seeds of conflict and violence; thus we become violent whether or not we can see it or want to admit it.

Freedom from pairs is freedom from conflict and violence.

So, is it another way of saying that we can be passionate about life and tranquil at the same time? Or does it mean that we can still set goals, have big dreams, have a fulfilling sex life and be detached at the same time? The answers are yes, yes, and yes.

It doesn't sound right: a sage who is not celibate and ascetic. The sages we know -- Jesus, Buddha, the Dalai Lama -- are all celibate hermits. This is true, but it doesn't mean that their way is the only way.

Krishnamurti said that "truth is a pathless land" that one has to discover for oneself. You don't come to truth by blindly following a set dogma or believing in a certain religion or worshiping a cult leader or praying until your mouth falls out of your face.

Hence, as you well know, you cannot just tell yourself to stop desiring. It won't work, the way we know morality which is externally enforced doesn't change what is in the heart and mind -- it only causes guilt and hypocrisy.

To want not to desire is a desire in itself which means you would have to tell yourself not to desire not desiring...ad nauseam. That would be silly, wouldn't it?

One participant asked me, "This seems unrealistic. How can you kill this basic human instinct of desiring?"

Oh no, you don't understand, you don't have to do anything against your will or your "instinct" if you want to put it that way. That will be futile so long as the hallucination still persists. The more you are trying to escape, the more you are trapped. Action is always followed by the same amount of reaction. I'm not offering anyone a religion with its dead list of do's and don'ts, for that will be too easy and you'll become lazy. Religion cannot liberate you -- if it could every Tom, Dick and Harry you meet would have been enlightened and there would be no more misery in this world. Only when you free your intelligence can you be close enough to the path.

M. Scott Peck says, "The path to sainthood goes through adulthood. There are no quick and easy shortcuts. Ego boundaries must be hardened before they can be softened. One must find one's self before one can lose it."

In other words, only through growing up, through trial and error and complete understanding, can you free yourself from attachment, so then, and only then, you can desire something without being attached to it. You can plan strategies to achieve your dreams while at the same time live in the present and enjoy every minute of the process, without being attached to the results. As St. John of the Cross wrote: "Now that I least desire them, I have them all without desire."

The writer, director of the Satori Foundation, can be reached at 0816 1910587 or satori@cbn.net.id.