Diagnosing the roots of suffering that keep us 'full of life'

Diagnosing the roots of suffering that keep us 'full of life'

By Rahayu Ratnaningsih

JAKARTA (JP): The first Noble Truth: Life is suffering. This
sounds pretty dismal, doesn't it? What's even more dismal is that
the diagnosis into the causes of our suffering turns out to be
the very thing that keeps us "full of life". Namely, desire,
which is caused by attachment to our phony sense of identity
which is caused by our ignorance and delusional thinking.

Alas, desire is the cause of suffering and the only cure is to
curb our desires.

In the words of Henry David Thoreau, "Most of the luxuries,
and many of the so-called comforts, of life are not only not
indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of
mankind."

My goodness! Does it mean we have to be like vegetables with
no ambition whatsoever? No goals? No purpose in life? Are we
propagating poverty here? Is this any different than death?

Some people think such a notion is akin to denying life, a
means of escape.

The common question I get from the participants of my retreat
is "How do we reconcile this notion of asceticism and solitude
with the real world, a world rife with competition and struggle?
How can I, as a man or woman of the world with obligations to my
family, have goals and be free from desire at the same time? How
can you be free of attachment and live a normal life -- which
means becoming obscenely rich -- at the same time?"

It seems that the two are mutually exclusive, that one must
choose either one or the other: be a hermit or live in the real,
unforgiving world.

Again, we are so used to partitions. Our categorizing minds
are cluttered with boxes and limits; it is always either/or.

Opposites tend to be seen as something real and independent
from each other while in fact one can only be defined within the
context of the other.

For instance, can you define "up" without reference to "down"?
Or can you know anything beautiful without having seen things
ugly? Can you explain "outside" without having the knowledge of
the concept of "inside"? Can you differentiate the concave line
from the convex?

Thus, is this dualism real or just our way of making sense of
the world simply for pragmatic purposes?

Lao Tzu, a Taoist philosopher, said that all opposites arise
simultaneously and mutually.

In Taoism it is beautifully symbolized by the diagram of yin-
yang which is called T'ai-chi T'u or "Diagram of the Supreme
Ultimate."

This diagram is a symmetric arrangement of the dark yin and
the bright yang, but the symmetry is not static. It is rotational
and suggests, very forcefully, a continuous cyclical movement in
nature and the cosmos.

Kuei Ku Tzu explained it this way: "The yang returns
cyclically to its beginning, the yin attains its maximum and
gives place to the yang."

The two dots in the diagram symbolize the idea that each time
one of the two forces reaches its extreme, it contains in itself
already the seed of its opposite.

So, opposites are fundamentally one experience. Like concave
and convex, they come into existence together. Thus, the line
"separating" concave from convex in fact unites them since it is
wholly shared by both, making it absolutely impossible for the
one to exist without the other.

Because of that single line, every time we draw a concave we
have also drawn a convex, because the outline of the concave is
the inline of the convex.

Not surprisingly, our internal and external worlds are ones of
pervading conflict since every boundary we draw is a potential
battlefield.

Each time we think in terms of "us versus them": nationalism,
religion, gender, race, social strata and various other walls
that separate our "unique" selves from others we are planting the
seeds of conflict and violence; thus we become violent whether or
not we can see it or want to admit it.

Freedom from pairs is freedom from conflict and violence.

So, is it another way of saying that we can be passionate
about life and tranquil at the same time? Or does it mean that we
can still set goals, have big dreams, have a fulfilling sex life
and be detached at the same time? The answers are yes, yes, and
yes.

It doesn't sound right: a sage who is not celibate and
ascetic. The sages we know -- Jesus, Buddha, the Dalai Lama --
are all celibate hermits. This is true, but it doesn't mean that
their way is the only way.

Krishnamurti said that "truth is a pathless land" that one has
to discover for oneself. You don't come to truth by blindly
following a set dogma or believing in a certain religion or
worshiping a cult leader or praying until your mouth falls out of
your face.

Hence, as you well know, you cannot just tell yourself to stop
desiring. It won't work, the way we know morality which is
externally enforced doesn't change what is in the heart and mind
-- it only causes guilt and hypocrisy.

To want not to desire is a desire in itself which means you
would have to tell yourself not to desire not desiring...ad
nauseam. That would be silly, wouldn't it?

One participant asked me, "This seems unrealistic. How can you
kill this basic human instinct of desiring?"

Oh no, you don't understand, you don't have to do anything
against your will or your "instinct" if you want to put it that
way. That will be futile so long as the hallucination still
persists. The more you are trying to escape, the more you are
trapped. Action is always followed by the same amount of
reaction. I'm not offering anyone a religion with its dead list
of do's and don'ts, for that will be too easy and you'll become
lazy. Religion cannot liberate you -- if it could every Tom, Dick
and Harry you meet would have been enlightened and there would be
no more misery in this world. Only when you free your
intelligence can you be close enough to the path.

M. Scott Peck says, "The path to sainthood goes through
adulthood. There are no quick and easy shortcuts. Ego boundaries
must be hardened before they can be softened. One must find one's
self before one can lose it."

In other words, only through growing up, through trial and
error and complete understanding, can you free yourself from
attachment, so then, and only then, you can desire something
without being attached to it. You can plan strategies to achieve
your dreams while at the same time live in the present and enjoy
every minute of the process, without being attached to the
results. As St. John of the Cross wrote: "Now that I least desire
them, I have them all without desire."

The writer, director of the Satori Foundation, can be reached
at 0816 1910587 or satori@cbn.net.id.