Cross-cultural courtesy

This is in response to It's our traditional courteousness, a letter printed in the July 9 The Jakarta Post. RH Usman expressed confusion concerning a presentation given on July 2 at a LIA conference.

One of the most challenging difficulties in learning a foreign language is learning the culture associated with a language. Language is more than grammar and vocabulary.

Small talk (basa basi) in one language may be different from small talk in another language. In every culture, there are certain questions which speakers normally ask, and answers which they normally give. North Americans ask "How are you?" Even sick or injured people usually answer "Fine, thank you." "How are you?" is really asked to be polite and acknowledge another person's presence.

"Mau kemana?" (where are you going?) is small talk Indonesians know to answer with "jalan jalan (taking a stroll), or some other response. However, if an Indonesian were to travel to North America, he would find that "Where are you going?" is not considered to be small talk there. A boss may ask the question to an employee to check up on him, but an employee should be careful about asking the same question to his boss. A North American may also ask his friend "where are you going?" if he wants to tag along.

"Are you married?" is small talk in Indonesia. The question is not taboo in North America, but it is not generally a question asked on first meetings with acquaintances. In North America, if a man asks a woman "Are you married?" he may be looking for a date on Friday night. Many North Americans are not so direct about asking for this information. If you want to know if a Westerner is married, you can often tell by seeing if there is a ring on the ring finger of the left hand.

Indonesians who travel to the United States experience culture shock. They may have many questions about the culture. Why does my American friend walk behind me instead of beside me when we walk through a crowd? Why does everyone walk and drive on the right? Why is public transportation so hard to find? In addition to this, they have to deal with using a foreign language.

Expats who live in a foreign country have to learn to adjust to the culture there. Foreigners in Indonesia should expect to hear questions like "Where are you going?" and "Are you married?" and learn how to respond appropriately according to the local culture. They should not expect that Indonesians will speak and act like the people in their home countries. Indonesians preparing to live abroad should learn what is socially appropriate in the culture of the place they are going to go. It is also a good idea for Indonesians working with expats in Indonesia to learn about cross-cultural differences.

Overall, I have found that Indonesians tend to be very flexible when it comes to dealing with people of different cultures. Perhaps this is because Indonesia has many different ethnic groups that interact with one another. Indonesian students tend to be eager to learn about cultural differences. It is refreshing to see that Indonesians make such an effort to be friendly to one another and to foreigners. It is especially important for those who will travel abroad to learn about cross- cultural communication so that this friendliness will be more easily appreciated.

PAUL HUDSON

Jakarta