Criminal tendency often starts at home

By Hawa Arofah

KUDUS, Central Java (JP): No child is born with a talent for crime. If later on a child commits a crime, the cause is certainly environmental influences. That is a popular psychology theory that does not need to be doubted.

The environment closest to the child, from birth to childhood, is his own family. Therefore, the party responsible for a child's misdemeanors is his own parents. In other words, the parents are often the cause of a child's misdeeds.

Wrongdoing can be likened to a disease. Before it becomes apparent and serious as behavior, it is preceded by a number of symptoms that can actually be detected. The people who can detect them are clearly the people closest to the wrongdoer. Thus, before a child commits a crime or behaves like a criminal, the parents should be able to detect the symptoms.

There is a criminal symptom that can often be detected easily. It is the telling of lies. If a child likes to tell lies, he may easily commit an offense. For example, stealing, if the occasion presents itself to him.

Apart from lying, another criminal symptom can be an attitude that defies prevailing rules. For example, a child is ready to take risks by taking something into the house without permission, using his school fees for himself or playing hooky.

In many cases, if a child dares to take his school fees for his own use, he also likes to steal other things from his parents. It will be highly risky for parents to let such a case pass without taking any steps. When the parents remain indifferent or forgive the deed, the child will be encouraged to steal money from his family. If that stage is reached, we need not be surprised that the child goes as far as stealing money or things belonging to other people, the neighbors, for example.

Why must the symptom of crime emerge? This is an important question that parents must answer. According to psychologist James Wilson, in the beginning it is mostly by imitation that children like to lie to their parents. Then they resist or revolt against them.

Who then are the culprits? Who does the child imitate? The answer is clear: his parents. Maybe the parents are often in conflict and one of them is accustomed to lying. Or, the mother often lets the child take something belonging to his father without telling him to ask for permission.

"Be quick and take the money from your father's workroom yourself!" Such an order can become a guidance for the child to take things without permission, because the mother has not trained the child to ask for permission. On another occasion, the child does not need to ask for something if he can take it himself.

We must be aware that if a child becomes used to committing an offense (stealing or taking something without permission) at home, there is a possibility he will dare to do the same outside the house. And if the child has the daring or is used to committing a misdeed outside the house, his parents and others in the environment will have difficulty in overcoming the problem, and only the law can handle the problem.

Prevention

No parents wish their children to be criminals. Therefore, they should from the beginning take preventive measures so their children do not turn into criminals. Below are a number of steps to be taken by parents to prevent their children from committing crimes.

* Ethics should prevail at home. Each family member should understand and obey all rules of good behavior. When entering their father's or any other family member's room, children should first ask permission (knock on the door). When wishing to have something, or money, they should ask the owner for it. In order that children are disciplined in observing ethics at home, parents should set the example.

* An honest and open attitude. Parents must be honest and open toward their children. When a child asks for money from his parents, they should not refuse the request by telling a lie, such as saying there is no money when there is plenty. Parents should be honest and open, explaining to their child about the amount of money available and its use, e.g., as a reserve for the family's living expenses.

* Strict sanctions should be applied. For example, if a child tells a lie or takes something without permission, his parents should immediately punish him. It can be an order to do some household chore, like cleaning the floor and washing his own clothes. The parents should explain to the child that there will be heavier punishment if he repeats the offense. By accepting the sanction, the child will be aware of his wrongdoing and he will try not to repeat it.

* Practice close supervision. Parents should continuously give serious attention to their child's behavior and activities. They should also be wary. If the child shows suspicious behavior, he should be immediately admonished and advised. For example, if he comes home from school earlier than usual, the parents should question him.

* Selective attitude in socializing. For example, parents should tell their children to be selective in choosing their friends outside the house. They should give the necessary guidance so their children socialize with good friends and in good circles. They should always know their children's friends and social circles outside the house.

* Religious attitude and behavior should be observed. For example, parents should regularly have their children pray together. They should not tire of explaining to their children which deeds are bad and sinful and which deeds are good and deserving of merit. If a child grows up from his childhood in a religious environment, he will have a good personality basis, know the values of life, and understand all the deeds that are forbidden or recommended by God. A religious stance and behavior will always make a child do only good things.

* A simple way of life should be pursued, i.e., a life that is always adequate in accordance with the existing levels and capacity. For example, if the parents can only give a small amount of pocket money to their child, they should tell him to use the money well and carefully to avoid running out. Even if the parents are rich, a simple life pattern should be maintained. A luxurious life may make a child feel he has not got enough and he will steal or commit other felonies.

The writer is a psychologist.