Couples of mixed marriages observe Ramadhan and Idul Fitri in unity

Tertiani ZB Simanjuntak, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

Gathering with friends who face similar difficulties brings relief even if it is only one day out of the whole year.

Ikhlas, an Australian who was given his Indonesian name by the late Buya Hamka -- a religious leader, prolific Islamic writer and independence fighter -- when he married Indonesian Fatma in 1975, still cannot understand the red tape he has to go through to retire and continue to live in Indonesia.

A Muslim for almost 30 years now, Ikhlas has never missed a single day of the fasting month and the local tradition of celebrating Idul Fitri although as with both he and his wife have worked at the United Nations the couple spent most of their years together in different countries with various differences in fasting hours compared to the about 14 hours in Indonesia.

"At first it was difficult for Ikhlas to get used to waking up early before dawn to take the pre-dawn meal to begin the fast. He always said: `Why can't we eat at six?'.

"But whatever country we were working in, we always looked for other Indonesian Muslims and broke the fast together. So, we never missed fasting," recalled Fatwa.

Now as members of Srikandi, the group of mixed marriage couples in Jakarta, breaking the fast together last Friday was also an opportunity to keep members updated about the organization's efforts over the past two years in lobbying the government to revise the laws on marriages, citizenship and immigration which limit their basic rights and those of their children.

The group members are also involved in social activities during the holy month of Ramadhan, together with other non-Muslim members.

"In gatherings like this, or when we invite friends home to chat, we also share knowledge about Islam," Fatma added.

For Wayne, an American, and his wife Amaliya, raising their children as devout Muslims is important.

"I want them to lead a guided life and to be in touch with their inner selves," said Wayne, who converted to Islam in 1979 before marrying Amaliya in 1984.

With their two daughters -- from Wayne's first marriage with an American - and son, the family usually observes likuran on the last day of fasting to expand their understanding of sharia, and continue to fast for several days in the Syawal month, after the first day of Idul Fitri holiday, which falls on Nov. 3 this year. The family has also conducted umroh, the minor haj pilgrimage.

Their two daughters were married to Jewish Americans in the traditional Indonesian way. Both are still Muslims and Wayne has introduced Islam to his five grandchildren.

"Even when we're apart, thanks to communication technology, we can still be together to observe Idul Fitri. I always chant adzan (prayers) to my grandchildren through the telephone early in the morning of Idul Fitri," Wayne said.

"I am thankful for the power of God that has bound our family together," he added.