Coping with the trauma of becoming unemployed

Pri Notowidigdo, Amrop Hever, Global Executive Search

Losing your job can create tremendous emotional upheaval. Dr. Dan Kealey, a Canadian psychologist who has helped people deal with change in their lives once remarked that "We may not be able to completely change our lives but we can change the way we perceive our lives."

I have observed and talked with people who lost their jobs during the monetary crisis here since 1997. Many people are still struggling with how to manage their continuing emotional upheaval.

Others have been able to transcend their painful experience, come to accept and understand their trauma, and discover new meaning in their lives. How have these individuals been able to get on with their lives? The following reference points may help us deal with emotional upheaval:

* Accept change as a fact of life. The only certainty in life is change. Through change, nature evolves, and human wisdom progresses. Through unexpected events, the universe tries to teach us something. We can strive to learn these lessons.

* Put your thoughts and feelings on paper. Try to write down your thoughts and how you feel. Often what you intend to write is different from what you actually write. You may think that you know how you feel but you end up writing things that you may never have thought about. Write thoughts, words, images, and whatever your mind and feelings prompt you to write. You may discover many new things about yourself.

* It's okay to feel how you feel. As we experience these emotions, a part of us is taking notice. This often happens when we take the time to reflect on what has happened either alone or in the company of a friend. We may also choose not to express our feelings, either when we're alone by writing or thinking, or when we choose not to share our feelings with a friend.

This suppression can make us stressed and ill. Expressing your feelings will also help you to accept the reality of what is happening and enable you to find solutions that make sense for you.

* Move on with your life. We cannot continue to dwell in the past. We must accept the past and move on with our lives. This is part of the process of renewal -- renewing who we are and becoming better and happier not only for ourselves but also for those around us.

Life is a continual learning process. If you are willing to accept change, you will grow and benefit from how life unfolds for you.