Coping with differences between coworkers

Coping with differences between coworkers

Galih Soewignjo
Consultant
INSpira Consulting, Jakarta

Everyone has their own way of working and interacting with
others. Most of the time, it works well and you are comfortable
with them.

People have different ways of thinking, making decision, using
time, communicating, handling emotions, managing stress and
dealing with conflict.

These differences, however, can lead to serious problems if
people fail to adjust to each other. This may increase stress and
affect productivity.

The differences are something that should be coped with and
managed so that they do not disrupt the working environment but
instead increase productivity.

This may be the reason why many business organizations require
their workers to have the competency to build productive
relationships with their coworkers, despite their differences.

If you can figure out how to bridge the gap between yourself
and others, you could make your work life -- and theirs -- much
easier, happier and more productive. People who relate
effectively to others have a more rewarding and happier life in
all facets of their experience.

The challenge in turning such differences into something more
productive lies with a person's flexibility. Flexing your style
means adapting and understanding other people's processes and
points of view. It is not about changing or conforming your
opinion to others'. It's about relating constructively while
appropriately disclosing your perspective on things, as well as
listening empathetically to others.

The better the interpersonal process, the more likely that
people accurately hear each other and creatively resolve
conflicting opinions.

A relationship will also work better if some changes are
made. However, forcing others to change to increase compatibility
only adds stress to an already burdened relationship.

It is better if the change starts from you. You don't need to
wait for the other person to come around to your way. You can do
something to improve things and should be focused on what makes
the interaction more comfortable for the other person.

Not only will you feel more in control, but your attempt to
adapt to the other person will often enable you to achieve your
goals. When you make it easier for another person to work with
you, that person usually changes his or her behavior in ways you
appreciate. As a result, both of you impact positively on the
relationship. Remember, this is a temporary adjustment of a few
aspects of behavior.

Flexibility as a contributor to a productive relationship
consists of a series of steps.

First, it is important to correctly identify your own style
and that of the other person to whom you'll be relating.

Second, plan for communication with others. In this step, you
simply incorporate your knowledge of styles into your
preparation.

Implementation is the next step. As you relate to the person,
you make those changes in your own behavior that you believe can
improve the relationship. When relating, a certain amount of
trial and error is unavoidable. Always monitor the impact of your
behavior, and modify both your plan and your behavior.

Flexibility is a very useful way of bridging the differences
between people, but it is still not enough to create a productive
relationship.

The way virtually everyone wants to be treated is the
foundation of a constructive relationship. Strong relationships
are built by being consistently honest, fair and respectful
toward others.

To treat others fairly is to act justly and without bias
toward them. That means seeking win-win approaches and making
sure the scales aren't tipped unduly in your direction. Respect
is based on the notion that every other individual is a person,
expressed through nondisparaging communication and by putting
others at ease through the use of good manners.

Think about your way of working and relating. Knowing your
differences, combined with being honest, fair and respectful to
others, will help you achieve your goals, repair bad
relationships and make good relationships even better.