Continued tales of the Grotavia mob, offers we can't refuse

The recent news that Tommy "The Driver" Soehartito and Bob "The Chainsaw" Hassano have been enjoying virtually unheard of privileges in jail -- on the rare occasions they are actually there -- has come as no surprise to long-time observers of the Grotavia underworld, dominated as it was for over 30 years by Tommy's father, Don Soehartito, the former capo di capo of the local mob.

Soehartito's long and steady rise to the top of the steaming Grotavia dunghill really began way back in 1942 when Dutch Holland and his henchmen (the Netherlanderthal Gang), who had long dominated the city's underworld, were muscled out by the Japanese Yakuza, eager to get their hands on the numbers, prostitution and gambling rackets that were, and still are, such a part of the city's vice scene.

Dutch, however, was not going to give up without a fight, and in 1945, with the help of the British mafia and their Indian sidekicks, he staged a comeback and evicted the Yakuza, who had proven themselves more ruthless and voracious than Grotavia's long-suffering citizens could ever have imagined.

Despite this, Dutch's days back at the top were numbered, for the Yakuza during their short stay had cultivated a new and potentially even more voracious band of up-and-coming gangland leaders.

Led by Don "The Architect" Sukarnino, the new bosses, who up to then had mostly been involved in small-scale protection rackets, quickly saw that a vacuum had emerged, one that they were all too willing to fill.

Dutch realized that his days were numbered and that the all- out gangland warfare that had erupted was ruining business for everyone. In a last-ditch effort to save some of his crumbling business empire, Dutch and Don Sukarnino reached an agreement whereby Dutch was to retain some of his wide-ranging underworld interests in Grotavia. However, after Dutch had packed his bags, Sukarnino soon reneged and seized everything left behind, much to the joy of the Don's lieutenants and cohorts, all of whom received a share of the booty.

After a long period dominating the Grotavia underworld, by the early 1960's Don Sukarnino seemed to be at the height of his power. However, corruption had become all pervasive, with the Don's hit men flaunting their ill-gotten gains for all to see.

The ordinary citizens of Grotavia, reduced by this stage to abject poverty by the Machiavellian machinations of the crime bosses, were powerless to challenge their overwhelming might.

Despite the fact that initially Don Sukarnino had a soft spot for the masses, and was even rumored to be genuinely concerned about their suffering, he had by this stage prostrated himself at the altar of wealth and power. Fond of dressing up in a flashy white uniform, and jingling and jangling with lots of bright, shiny medals, he seemed to be modeling himself on Mussolini, if not actually Liberace.

Sukarnino was not the only one who was fond of dressing up, however. Another group of dons, who later became known as the "uniformed dons", also liked uniforms and medals -- the bigger, brighter and shinier the better.

These ruthless crime lords were by this stage desperate to get what they regarded as their proper share of the loot, especially with the threat to the sordid Grotavia edifice of crime from enraged citizens and left-wingers becoming increasingly strong.

In 1965, following a "certain" event (which ... er ... we won't go into here), Sukarnino saw his power eclipsed by the uniformed dons under the command of the unscrupulous Don Soehartito (later dubbed the "Godfather of Development").

With Sukarnino now confined to his palatial residence, Don Soehartito set about putting his uncompromising stamp on the Grotavia underworld.

While the early days of the Soehartito reign of terror were marked by efforts to permit the economy to breathe again after years of extortion and freeloading, the mobsters soon showed their true colors, once again stealing and plundering everything they could lay their hands on.

But even by Grotavia's vicious gangland standards, the rise of Tommy "The Driver" Soehartito marked the opening of a new chapter in brutality and greed, a chapter that ended with Tommy's year- long flight from justice and the cold-blooded slaying of a Supreme Court judge in broad daylight, a crime for which Tommy received a derisory 15-year sentence.

And now, as we find ourselves in 2003, things have come the full circle, with old Don Sukarnino's daughter, Donna Megasnotti, apparently firmly ensconced as the first female leader of the Grotavia mob.

But most observers agree that the power of the uniformed dons has only waned slightly, if at all, and that it is they who are still running many of the rackets on the mean streets of Grotavia.

Thus it should come as no surprise to learn that Tommy "The Driver" Soehartito and Bob "The Chainsaw" Hassano are unlikely ever to be punished in a manner that would even remotely fit their heinous crimes.

As has always been the way in Grotavia, steal a chicken, you're a sinner, but steal a country, you're a winner.

-- Bill Blade