Close proximity in office leads many to hives of flirtation

Close proximity in office leads many to hives of flirtation

By William Furney

JAKARTA (JP): Quick. Out with the lippy, on with the rouge and
spray down that piece of flyaway hair.

The boss is on his way and her aim is to be noticed, not in
her capacity as an employee, but as a sensual woman.

For she is a secretary and dreams of a liaison with her boss
as she types without reading the words, files nails that don't
need filing and answers phones in her efficient but robotic
manner.

He greets her, mentions she is looking well (she blushes) and
wonders if his wife would find out if he were to take his
secretary out for dinner and perhaps a little something
afterward.

And so, unavoidably, it begins.

Ever since there have been attractive, nubile young women and
older men working in close proximity to each other, there have
been dalliances between them. She, the fountain of alluring
feminine youth he thinks he has the right to drink from after
years of success and fathering children. He, the ladder on which
she wants to climb.

Serve it up on a plate and he'll come asking for seconds.

Look no further than the most famous affair last century.
President Bill and intern Monica. He, her boss; she, his
assistant. Not exactly his secretary, but she performed tasks
equivalent and saw him often enough for the affair to take root.

What is interesting to note is that the more important the man
or woman involved in the affair, the less likely they are to pay
any attention to rationale. That goes out the window as lust
takes over, and in some cases develops into lasting feelings of
love.

Humans, of course, are social animals and as we spend more
time than ever in a work environment, thoughts are bound to turn
to matters carnal over the course of long, drawn-out days. Who
has not fancied a colleague at the office? For offices are
veritable hives of flirtation.

According to Oprah psychobabbler, Dr. Luann Linquist, 70
percent of married men and 50 percent of married women have an
affair sometime in their marriage. Some are one-night stands, she
says, but a growing number of people are becoming involved in
intimate relationships that last for a long time, some even for
years.

Young women are easily captivated by the charms of older,
wiser, wealthier and more powerful men. Those men, in turn, are
dazzled by youthful glamour and slim, firm bodies. This
combination, therefore, is a powerful force which binds them
together.

Lolita, 23, not her real name, has been having an affair with
her boss for almost a year and a half. A secretary at a medium-
sized financial firm in Jakarta, she said the affair began when
both she and her boss (who is in his fifties) were working late
and often were the only people in the office.

"One night," she said, "just as I was finishing up typing a
report, he came to my desk and invited me to his office for a
drink. I had been staying back late all month as I had to get
through my workload and he thanked me for it. One thing led to
another and we ended up on his office desk."

She said she didn't feel particularly guilty about carrying on
the affair as she had never met his wife and their 12-year-old
son.

"I don't really feel bad about it ... well sometimes a little.
But we like each other very much although I don't see any future
(in it)."

Father of Psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud says people are little
more than the sum of their collective sexual urges, where, as
surely as the sun rises and sets each day, we, like other
animals, are driven by an overpowering need to propagate our own
species. It is to deny our existence to think otherwise. We break
with so-called normal societal behavioral patterns in our
endeavors to multiply. There is no good in denying this as we are
bound by the hormones that race through our veins. It all comes
down to sex, and how much we can get of it.

Office rumors fly quicker than the proverbial bush fire and,
as such, it is common for clandestine affairs between secretaries
and their superiors to be known to the lowliest employee in the
firm. And as wealthy bosses are oft to shower their paid
mistresses with luxury gifts and even luxury pads in town,
feelings of resentment toward said secretary can reach boiling
point when she is offered raise after raise and is given more
authority in the firm and often multiple promotions.

A couple of years ago, a foreign secretary I knew at a
multinational company in Jakarta was in this situation after
falling for her boss. To the chagrin of others, she was deluged
with all manner of gifts and risen from her lowly position of
secretary to personal assistant to the boss. Suddenly she was
queen of the office and doors opened up for her as never before.
However, as a queen, she was despised.

Often the two took long, leisurely lunches -- sometimes
lasting up to three hours. This disrupted the work environment as
others were frequently left to take over the workload.

When her boss left the firm, the country and her, she was
quickly demoted by those left and suffered such aggravation she
eventually left.

But in our complicated world we cover up what is natural,
telling ourselves that we are no cave people. We are educated,
freethinking, sophisticated beings, and, even though we are
highly interested in sex, we choose not to believe our basic
urges determine how we act out our lives. Affairs between bosses
and their secretaries are no different to any other type of
affair, such as those between photographers and models, movie
producers and starlets. They are two people wanting to get it
together, sometimes for ulterior motives or a symbiotic
development in their lives. But, more often that not, they do it
for love.

There are many layers to peel off before we get to what we
knew we wanted all along.