Close encounters at crowded Cappellini
Epicurus has seen hell, and it is about 178 cms tall, flame- haired and answers to any one of several cutesy female appellations heard in shopping malls throughout Middle America (insert Tiffany, Jennifer, Tracy, etc.).
Welcome to the ultimate dining nightmare. Epicurus and friend were ready for a quiet evening dinner, far from the madding crowd of Jakarta food courts and fast food joints, and had plumped for an exquisite although pricey emporium in Central Jakarta serving Indian food.
Alas, it was not to be. There, in the lobby, was Ms. Firecracker herself, huffing and puffing, and trying oh-so-hard to prise that coveted table for four from the packed waiting list.
Big hair (thank heavens for the invention of hair color and perms), zaftig and a mouth going a mile a minute, was about as culturally sensitive as Attila the Hun, and with an ego to match. She stomped her feet and grandstanded to all and sundry, a casting reject for the part of Martha in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?.
"But I am a regular customer here," she seethed through clenched teeth (perfectly straight, mind you), but the staff's bemused smiles did nothing to placate her.
"Why do they export people like that?" my friend enquired, oblivious that the answer lay in the very same question. "Is this what they call the tough New Yorker act, or is she out to show everybody that she's one tough cookie?"
As she clenched her fists and stared down at her feet (headed for meltdown?), we decided to beat a hasty retreat.
Which left us scrambling to find a place to eat at 8 p.m. on a Saturday evening. Kemang? Too far and likely traffic jams. Kota? Closer but guaranteed traffic tangles, including the rebels without a cause speeding along Jl. Hayam Wuruk.
Which led us to Cappellini on the ninth floor of the BRI Center Park on Jl. Sudirman.
This restaurant is famed for its lunch and dinner buffets, which are reasonably priced and rich in variety, or so friends said.
People with a fear of open spaces and those who believe in safety in numbers would have found themselves doing quite nicely, thank you, at Cappellini this Saturday night.
We're talking packed, as in throngs, masses, hoards of humanity. Not quite cheek to jowl, but barely enough room to push back your chair without bumping into the diner seated behind.
Which is surely a winning advertisement that Cappelini's is doing something right, whether it is in the merits of the cuisine or competitive pricing.
After a cursory glance at the a la carte menu -- usual hotel- style fare of Western, sandwiches, Asian corner, etc. -- it was off to the renowned buffet.
The salad bar was varied, with cold cuts, a mussel salad, asinan pickled vegetables and fruits, delicious Indian-style chicken, and an ambiguous mishmash of frankfurters and greens drowned in mayonnaise.
Main courses were a veritable United Nations of dishes. Roasts, french bread pizzas and ribs were complemented by sashimi, siomay and dim sum.
There were also entrees of braised beef roulade, vegetable rice, seafood provencale and a scrumptious tandoori chicken, suspiciously indistinguishable from the salad bar item.
Some of these (roulade, ribs, seafood, dim sum) were tasty, the others quite unmemorable. The dessert selection was average, with various tortes, cakes and fresh fruit, livened up somewhat by an outstanding bread and butter pudding.
One big negative was the service, or lack thereof. There was one attentive waiter, but he couldn't be expected to do everything. Orders were garbled, requests forgotten as the army of waiters and waitresses tried to deal with all the diners and dodge assembled kids roughhousing around the room.
But the poor service was inevitable with so many people packed into one restaurant at the same time. My companion assured me this was not the usual case, a fact acknowledged by the restaurant manager ("we have a very high turnover of customers on Saturday nights").
All in all, however, Cappellini fits the bill, especially at just over Rp 72,000 for two people, including coffee, tea and mineral water. And it sure beat watching the ultimate Ugly American exhibiting her emotional pyrotechnics for public consumption.
-- Epicurus