Children should be taught empathy

Simon Marcus Gower, Jakarta

Our modern world is a world in which our senses seem to be more and more stimulated. From the variety of foods from all over the world we may taste, to music of all kinds all around us -- our senses can be stimulated to a quite phenomenal extent. This extends to the sense of sight, with newspapers, magazines and television screens inundating us with images daily.

All of this can add up to a kind of "sensory overload" that leaves it difficult for us to make sense of things and not be lost in chaos. The tragedy of the tsunami could be seen as a horrific example of this. The deeply disturbing and saddening images have graphically shown us the terrible destructive force of the tsunami but they have been difficult for us to make sense of.

The extent of a tragedy such as the tsunami that hit so many countries but was most forceful and destructive in Aceh and North Sumatra has been difficult for adults to comprehend but this is so much more so the case for children. Many children have obviously been disturbed and saddened but what has happened and what they have seen but other children have, in a sense, been left cold by what they have seen.

This is not to say that they have intentionally set out to be dismissive or uncaring about what has happened but in some ways they are left unable to respond; either due the kind of "sensory overload" noted above or because they are simply not yet emotionally and sensitively mature enough to have an appropriately respectful attitude.

The kind of sensory overload that children today are experiencing, in a strange way, means that they are seemingly more distant from reality and so an appropriate response and attitude to what is really happening around them. For example, for a number of children their greatest and most significant connection to the terror of the tsunami was their reference to a recent Hollywood movie.

In the film The Day After Tomorrow massive climate change was imagined and through computer graphics a vast tsunami was depicted overwhelming the island of Manhattan. For many children this was their most significant and even only reaction to what has happened. With a nervous laughter they would say "Oh yeah, it's like in that film, only smaller."

These children may seem cold and detached from the awful reality of what has happened. But this can be because they are simply not equipped with the emotional skills to respond. The visual sensory overload that they can be experiencing should be thought of here.

For example, it is quite likely that children are getting a massive amount of exposure to the terrible imagery coming from the disaster struck areas. It is important that we see these images to try to understand the scale and awfulness of what has happened but for children exposure to these images should probably be limited by parents.

Many children, too, will and have experienced a significant loss of sense of safety and security that can be deeply psychologically disturbing. Again this is probably something that many adults have to come to terms with too as we all must fear that such an awful disaster might hit us. But this kind of fear and a feeling of the loss of safety and security can be a deep scar on a young and developing mind.

For smaller children, also, the repetition of awful images from the disaster can be deeply confusing; confusing to the extent that they feel that those awful events are happening again and again. Their inability to distinguish reality and realize that images are just being shown repetitively can leave them fearing that awful events are occurring and reoccurring.

None of this is to say that these images should be hidden from us, but it is to suggest that we should exercise discretion and caution when thinking about the degree of exposure we allow to such images. It is consistently observed that Indonesia television channels broadcast very openly with very little in the way of editing.

Where people and specifically children are consistently being exposed to such awful images, it is quite possible that they are becoming desensitized to what they see and may then have a less human and humane reaction to it.

It is vitally important that children are taught about empathy. This means that they are taught to be aware of their own feelings and in turn may be better able to appreciate and respect the feelings of others. Significantly children need to learn of their own emotions and so develop an emotional intelligence and sensitivity towards others.

Often schools and schooling systems are deeply rooted in developing academic strengths but are relatively rather neglectful of emotional strength. Particularly at times of great disaster such as the present schools should respond differently. They cannot be indifferent to children's emotions and blindly treat children as objects or numbers that must be processed.

Ultimately, the pain and the depth of sorrow felt after the tsunami leaves words almost redundant and mostly inadequate but empathy and the caring and help that can emanate from it can assist people back from the loss and despair they have experienced. Empathy is a vital human response and children need it.

The writer is an education consultant.