Children need to be taught to share

Children need to be taught to share

Maria Endah Hulupi, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

Fostering social awareness in children can be started early
but it needs to be continuously reiterated to ensure that it is
internalized.

A psychologist with the University of Indonesia, Shinto B.
Adelar, said that children as young as 2.5 years old can be
taught to understand what is happening around them by being asked
to share what they feel and what other mights feel in a
particular situation.

The condition can be created by establishing parent-children
openness which can be performed through simple but continuous
dialog in a pleasant atmosphere.

"At first, encourage the children to think about other people
aside from themselves and when they are being inconsiderate,
parents can tell them what other people or children might feel,"
she said.

Parents are also advised to explain that selfishness is
socially unacceptable. If children do things that are unkind to
others, like refusing to share candy or food with other children
in the room or barring other kids from playing with their new
toys, parents can gently remind them that they are being egoistic
and hurting other people's feelings.

They should then encourage them to share. It is also important
to tell them that they cannot get what they want all the time.

Shinto explained that children need examples from their
parents and would imitate positive habits which are continually
demonstrated in a favorable atmosphere.

Such social awareness, she added, is something to be
internalized and not memorized. Children will then spontaneously
offer a hand when they meet people in need.

Take older children to places where they can see that there
are less fortunate children around them, who have to work to pay
their school fees or just to have one meal a day.

"Ask them what would they feel if they are in similar
situation. Teach them to understand other people's condition and
feeling by positioning themselves in similar condition. By doing
this, parents can foster empathy in their children," she added.

Children only learn from their parents in their first few
years but older children can also learn more about social
activities through interaction with teachers and other children.

If parents notice that their children are not considerate and
warm toward other people, giving constructive comments to
motivate them to change is more effective than using critical
remarks.

"If it still doesn't work, ignore them but praise them when
they are seen doing positive things."

She explained that parents should shift the focus from
punishing mistakes to reinforcing good behaviors, which is more
effective.