Child abuse affects poor, rich alike

Dewi Santoso, Jakarta

It is generally thought that neglected children come from poor families, yet, in reality, wealth is no guarantee that a person can recognize a child's basic rights.

Recounting his experiences, 13-year-old Kevin said on Friday his parents threatened to ban him from hanging out with his friends if he was not among the top three in his class at the end of the school year.

"I once ranked fifth, and my mother grounded me for a month. She didn't hit me, but she didn't allow me play either. I had to stay home on weekends," the junior high school student said.

During his punishment, he was forced to study hard as his mother wanted him to make up for lost ground.

His mother, Linda, argued that she was only trying to put Kevin back at the top of the class, where he belonged.

"I just want what's best for him. If he succeeds in class, he'll definitely succeed later life," said the 41-year-old, whose husband is the manager of a private bank.

Seven-year-old Jonathan, also the child of a businessman, is already experiencing pressure to compete. His parents demand that he is ranked among the top 10 of his class.

"Since I've paid a lot of money for his education, I expect him to show his appreciation by getting good marks," Jonathan's mother, Clara, told The Jakarta Post.

Linda and Clara said they disciplined their children so that their prospects -- for higher education, and later, employment -- increased.

Indonesian Children's Welfare Foundation (YKAI) chairwoman Lily Rilantono said social norms and values in the country tended to encourage parents to treat their children as objects.

"It's been part of our culture, even among well-off families, that children have to listen to what their parents say. We don't give them the opportunity to argue, let alone correct their parents if they are proven wrong," said Lily.

Marking National Children's Day on Friday, President Megawati Soekarnoputri asked children to always listen to their parents.

Lily said she often found parents were ignorant of their child's thoughts.

"As a result, children are not given the opportunity and the freedom to choose. Their creativity is not developed. Their rights are not protected," she told the Post.

Rossi, the mother of a six-year-old boy, says she has always tried to listen to her son.

"Every time I say 'no', I try to explain why he is not allowed to do what he wants. This seems to work," said the 35-year-old.

Despite her efforts to communicate, Rossi said she was unaware of what comprised a child's rights and how to protect them.

"I don't know. I just want to make sure that all his needs are fulfilled," she said.

Many parents still lack knowledge about children's rights, Lily urged the government to increase pubic awareness of Law No. 23/2002 on child protection.

The law stipulates that the government, families and parents must protect a child's right to choose and the freedom to develop their creativity.