Center lends an ear to hear troubled teens out

Center lends an ear to hear troubled teens out

Hera Diani, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

Angst, anxiety, raging hormones -- it's never been a smooth
transition to adulthood. Apparently, it is no less difficult
today, despite high tech, glitzy shopping malls with all their
offerings and glossy magazines doling out advice.

A recent readers' survey by Indonesian seventeen monthly teen
magazine shows 73 percent of respondents have felt so stressed
out they wished they could return to the relative comfort of
their childhood.

"Teenagers today are facing higher peer pressure, with the
addition of pressures from the media," psychologist Karmila
Wardhana told The Jakarta Post.

Flipping through another Q&A in the magazine, it looks like
troubles are not necessarily related to the "usual suspects" of
peer pressure, the opposite sex or grades.

"Ever since my brother died six months ago, my parents have
been fighting constantly and don't seem to love each other
anymore. I don't like being home anymore. Now, how can I make my
parents get a divorce?" asks a reader.

Concerned by the need to reach out to troubled youth, Karmila
and three colleagues set up an integrated youth center called
Empati Development Center last April.

The core is psychological consultation, but the center also
provides a variety of other services, including medical doctors,
dentists, a nutritionist, pedagogy (teaching studies), therapists
and a dermatologist on its roster. The center also arranges
remedial teaching for students who are behind at school.

"Sometimes the problems faced by our clients aren't merely
psychological but can be physical, like an infant who has a
problem of delayed speech, obese teenagers or those with skin
problems which make them unconfident," Karmila said.

While most of the patients are children and pre-teens, there
has been an increase in adolescent clients in the past two months
as word has got out about the center.

"The problems are varied, but generally, they come here to
find out their interest, or they have problems with low
motivation and low self-esteem," Karmila said.

In early teen years, many people face emotional problems
caused by their surroundings, such as peer pressure to
experiment, which can contribute to poor performance at school,
for example.

"They feel that they face a lot of pressure from people around
them, while those people think otherwise," said Karmila.

Middle adolescents are usually confused about their interests,
and the classic conflict with their parents over the major they
should focus on.

The frequent complaint of late adolescents is adjusting to the
demands of a university curriculum, very different from the high
school experience.

So far, most teenagers have been referred by their parents,
except for university freshmen who voluntarily visit the center.

The most difficult case type handled so far, according to
Karmila, is children who feel unable to meet their parents' high
expectations.

"Today's parents apparently still stick to the same pattern as
their parents. Fathers are busy outside, while mothers stay home.
Fathers give orders, mothers carry them out and convey them to
their children. And when something goes wrong, it's
(stereotypically) the mother's fault," she said.

One client was a 12-year-old girl who graduated from
elementary school and went to a junior high school which none of
her old friends attended.

She also suffered from low self-esteem, feeling fat and
unpretty and experiencing difficulties socializing with her
schoolmates. Compounded by high parental expectations, the stress
caused the girl to flunk her final exam and suffer an eating
disorder.

"When she came here, she could barely walk. She had been on a
strict diet, cutting down meals. Her room was filled with posters
of models and artists who she thought have ideal body. That shows
the high pressure from teenage media," Karmila said.

The girl was not close to her mother, although teens need
particular support from their parent of the same sex.

"The girl also needs a father figure, but at that age, she
needs her mother most to discuss girls' problems. It also goes
with boys. If they lack it, it can lead to low motivation and low
self-esteem."

After a few counseling sessions, the girl started to resolve
her eating issues and began outside activities.

According to Karmila, it is important to recognize a problem
early and seek counseling. Unfortunately, there is often no
recognition of the problem until it is advanced.

"Parents who come here say they are open minded, but the
problems won't exist if they are truly open minded. The first
session is usually filled with a lot of denial from parents."

Most come as a last resort, reaching a desperate point where
any advice from the psychologist is welcome.

"From my experience, people easily give up and don't give
enough effort to make relationships in the family work well."

Awareness about the option of seeking psychological help is
still low, Karmila said, but she denied it was due to high
consultation costs at her facility, pointing out that the
center's fees were relatively cheap compared to regular
psychological services.

Empati charges Rp 150,000 (US$18) for the first hour for a new
patient consultation, and Rp 100,000 for the next one hour at the
same session or the next meeting.

"We try to limit every case to just three sessions, if
possible. But we also monitor our clients after the session is
over to find out the progress."

Empati Development Center
Jl. Ciniru I No. 12, South Jakarta
Tel./Fax. (021) 7201129