Center lends an ear to hear troubled teens out

Hera Diani, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

Angst, anxiety, raging hormones -- it's never been a smooth transition to adulthood. Apparently, it is no less difficult today, despite high tech, glitzy shopping malls with all their offerings and glossy magazines doling out advice.

A recent readers' survey by Indonesian seventeen monthly teen magazine shows 73 percent of respondents have felt so stressed out they wished they could return to the relative comfort of their childhood.

"Teenagers today are facing higher peer pressure, with the addition of pressures from the media," psychologist Karmila Wardhana told The Jakarta Post.

Flipping through another Q&A in the magazine, it looks like troubles are not necessarily related to the "usual suspects" of peer pressure, the opposite sex or grades.

"Ever since my brother died six months ago, my parents have been fighting constantly and don't seem to love each other anymore. I don't like being home anymore. Now, how can I make my parents get a divorce?" asks a reader.

Concerned by the need to reach out to troubled youth, Karmila and three colleagues set up an integrated youth center called Empati Development Center last April.

The core is psychological consultation, but the center also provides a variety of other services, including medical doctors, dentists, a nutritionist, pedagogy (teaching studies), therapists and a dermatologist on its roster. The center also arranges remedial teaching for students who are behind at school.

"Sometimes the problems faced by our clients aren't merely psychological but can be physical, like an infant who has a problem of delayed speech, obese teenagers or those with skin problems which make them unconfident," Karmila said.

While most of the patients are children and pre-teens, there has been an increase in adolescent clients in the past two months as word has got out about the center.

"The problems are varied, but generally, they come here to find out their interest, or they have problems with low motivation and low self-esteem," Karmila said.

In early teen years, many people face emotional problems caused by their surroundings, such as peer pressure to experiment, which can contribute to poor performance at school, for example.

"They feel that they face a lot of pressure from people around them, while those people think otherwise," said Karmila.

Middle adolescents are usually confused about their interests, and the classic conflict with their parents over the major they should focus on.

The frequent complaint of late adolescents is adjusting to the demands of a university curriculum, very different from the high school experience.

So far, most teenagers have been referred by their parents, except for university freshmen who voluntarily visit the center.

The most difficult case type handled so far, according to Karmila, is children who feel unable to meet their parents' high expectations.

"Today's parents apparently still stick to the same pattern as their parents. Fathers are busy outside, while mothers stay home. Fathers give orders, mothers carry them out and convey them to their children. And when something goes wrong, it's (stereotypically) the mother's fault," she said.

One client was a 12-year-old girl who graduated from elementary school and went to a junior high school which none of her old friends attended.

She also suffered from low self-esteem, feeling fat and unpretty and experiencing difficulties socializing with her schoolmates. Compounded by high parental expectations, the stress caused the girl to flunk her final exam and suffer an eating disorder.

"When she came here, she could barely walk. She had been on a strict diet, cutting down meals. Her room was filled with posters of models and artists who she thought have ideal body. That shows the high pressure from teenage media," Karmila said.

The girl was not close to her mother, although teens need particular support from their parent of the same sex.

"The girl also needs a father figure, but at that age, she needs her mother most to discuss girls' problems. It also goes with boys. If they lack it, it can lead to low motivation and low self-esteem."

After a few counseling sessions, the girl started to resolve her eating issues and began outside activities.

According to Karmila, it is important to recognize a problem early and seek counseling. Unfortunately, there is often no recognition of the problem until it is advanced.

"Parents who come here say they are open minded, but the problems won't exist if they are truly open minded. The first session is usually filled with a lot of denial from parents."

Most come as a last resort, reaching a desperate point where any advice from the psychologist is welcome.

"From my experience, people easily give up and don't give enough effort to make relationships in the family work well."

Awareness about the option of seeking psychological help is still low, Karmila said, but she denied it was due to high consultation costs at her facility, pointing out that the center's fees were relatively cheap compared to regular psychological services.

Empati charges Rp 150,000 (US$18) for the first hour for a new patient consultation, and Rp 100,000 for the next one hour at the same session or the next meeting.

"We try to limit every case to just three sessions, if possible. But we also monitor our clients after the session is over to find out the progress."

Empati Development Center Jl. Ciniru I No. 12, South Jakarta Tel./Fax. (021) 7201129