Can etiquette save a nation? Mien Uno has the answer

JP/24/ETIQUETTE

Can etiquette save a nation? Mien Uno has the answer

M. Taufiqurrahman The Jakarta Post/Jakarta

The age-old question about the wellspring of corruption -- whether it is part of human nature or conditioned by circumstances -- will remain an intellectual debate for years to come.

But for Mien Rahman Uno the answer to that question is already clear. It lies in Indonesian folks' disregard of etiquette, a code that governs the expectations of social behavior, prescribing and restricting the ways they interact with each other.

"Most people here, for instance, refuse to queue up, regardless of the purpose. This is indicative of rampant corruption. The essence of corruption is the primacy of the end over means -- people just want to get rich with no sweat," Mien said.

She gave as another example of dishonesty in society instances of both average Joes and state officials obtaining unearned diplomas from uncertified colleges.

"One of the core values in etiquette is the respect for human endeavors," Mien said.

The self-proclaimed etiquette campaigner added that codes of ethics were not merely concerned with trivialities, such as where a silver spoon was placed or the correct way for a "lady" to sit, but served the purpose of teaching people to be upstanding citizens.

Unlike social commentators, who could be accused of sitting back as society crumbled due to a lack of etiquette and ethics, Mien decided to take the plunge and promote good behavior through a variety of means.

For starters, earlier this month Mien launched a book titled Etiket: Sukses membawa diri di segala kesempatan (Etiquette: The key to good behavior on every occasion), a comprehensive list of dos and don'ts that teaches readers everything from "breaking the ice" to dress codes for specific functions.

The book, which took Mien almost 10 years to finish, draws on her 40 years' experience in teaching etiquette. Although she boasted that her experience could in fact fill another 100 volumes.

Designed as a promotional exercise to support book sales, Mien will soon embark on a nationwide tour to teach etiquette to the most "unlikely of subjects".

First, she will visit eight locations in Jakarta for the program.

The book, published by publishing giant Gramedia Pustaka Utama, will also be distributed for free to selected school libraries in the country.

Writing the book and familiarizing people with its contents are but two of Mien's attempts at revolutionizing society.

On April 2001, after years of service at the John Robert Powers modeling school, Mien founded the Duta Bangsa school, a school of public relations that offers training in various areas, from public speaking to television and radio emcee-ing.

It was with this institution that Mien struck a deal recently with the Ministry of Home Affairs for a project designed to teach etiquette to new civil servants and their spouses.

Mien was hopeful that the program would do wonders for civil servants -- who are notorious for their rule-breaking habits.

"We have long been regarded as having a tradition that highly regards individual piety, but where have all the time-honored traditions gone now," Mien mused.

Forty years of learning and practicing western-style etiquette has given Mien enough credentials to be considered Indonesia's queen of etiquette.

She is known to pull up people for their bad manners in daily life, so that even friends and family might quickly rehearse before approaching her.

"Whenever I run into friends or colleagues at a party, or any function, at first they hesitate -- and when they do approach, the first question might be `Mien am I dressed correctly for this function' or `Is this right way to place my spoon'," Mien said, chuckling.

Such notoriety has also earned her a reputation as an expert that could turn people with unruly behavior into friendly and etiquette-abiding individuals.

Duta Bangsa has enrolled, for instance, a whiny and misbehaving granny as well as a pushy and demanding husband, Mien said.

"We accepted them, and we managed to make them into nice and cooperative people -- speedily, to the surprise of their families," she said, in an interview at her spacious and elegant house in the leafy and upmarket Kebayoran Baru.

Mien's preoccupation with etiquette in her adult life seems to have been mapped out in early childhood.

Born Rachmini Rahman 64 years ago in Indramayu, West Java to a family of teachers, Mien was trained from an early age to respect discipline.

She is the younger sibling of a teacher and renowned educationist Arif Rahman. Another sibling is Rashid Rahman, the man responsible for the Indonesian subtitles for almost all Hollywood films imported here, whose name always appears before the credits roll.

Mien is also a big fan of Hollywood films.

In their childhood years, such pearls of wisdom were displayed in the Rahman family's house as "don't waste your time" and "everyone has to be home before dark".

Following in the footsteps of her parents, Mien enrolled at the teachers training institute (IKIP) in Bandung.