Burning Down

By Sunaryono Basuki Ks

The sky was clear but people of the whole village were fearful. It was clear to them that the Dutch colonial soldiers would soon arrive and the villagers did not know what would become of them. Nurdin, who was in charge of circulating news of the present situation of the country to the villagers, had already told the village head that the Dutch air force had bombarded Yogyakarta, the capital city of the republic, and that president Sukarno had been captured by the Dutch. They said it was only a police action, but Indonesians called it Dutch aggression. Nurdin told people that the Dutch troops would soon arrive in the village and the local people should burn down strategic buildings such as the school and the railway station.

The villagers were ready with firewood. They put it in a high heap inside the classrooms of the village's only elementary school building. They also put firewood in the small railway station.

The sky did not remain clear for long. Soon black smoke rose into the sky.

"The school building is on fire. There will be no school from today," one young boy told a friend.

"There's no need to go to school. We're at war."

"It's good to be at school," the boy whispered as if speaking to himself.

"And it's better to have freedom."

The Dutch troops arrive a little after noon. Instead of arriving in tanks they walked. Each of them carried a heavy backpack and looked tired. Their dark faces were sweating.

The villagers stayed inside their houses, peeping out at the soldiers through a half-open curtains. No one dared to go out until they heard one of the soldiers shout in Indonesian: "Out! Out! Everyone out!"

Everyone was frightened as they moved slowly outside their houses into their yards. Nurdin was among them, dressed in a sarong and scruffy shirt. A spy, that was Nurdin. He looked at the soldiers one by one. Most of them had dark skin, only the commander and his assistant were Dutch. The rest were Indonesian.

The commander, through one of the soldiers, told the villagers: "Don't be afraid. We're here not to kill you but to protect you against extremist movements. They could attack the village and kill the villagers. We're here to protect you and get rid of those barbarians."

Not one of the villagers commented. Nurdin cursed them in his mind: "Bulls**t! You always tell lies to people. We are fed up with all the lies!"

No one could hear what Nurdin said to himself. He recognized some of the soldiers as people from town. The Dutch were successful in campaigning for the military movement, and some young people from town had agreed to join the troops.

Suddenly Nurdin saw a face that he had long hated among the tired soldiers. He would never be able to forget this face, although the man probably did not know quite as much about him. It was Irawan among the local soldiers.

The handsome man with good posture was the son of the wedana (district chief). As a son of a wedana, it was not surprising that Irawan had received a good education, ate well and grew up in luxury. Nurdin could not be compared to Irawan. He was only a trader, a seller of dried cloves to cigarette makers. He could earn money, but socially he was far inferior to Irawan. He realized this and understood it quite well when Ningsih's parents told him that he had better not visit Ningsih anymore.

In a clandestine meeting, Nurdin found out that Ningsih still loved him but could not disobey her parents.

"I will never give my love to another person, Mas Nurdin." Ningsih whispered in the dark shade of a banyan tree.

"Promise me nothing, Ning," Nurdin replied with bitterness. "You should listen to your parents."

"I'm serious, Mas. Although that creep may one day possess my body, he will never have my heart."

Ningsih's words were a relief and Nurdin's steps ahead in life felt light. He could see positive things in life.

Nurdin's blood was boiling and his face turned red. He tried to hide his feelings by hiding among the villagers. If only Ningsih were to marry one of his fellow freedom fighters, he would have never objected. But to marry a traitor like Irawan, he would never let his beloved do this.

Nurdin could not sleep the whole night, but he could not do anything. Should he attack Irawan when he was on duty, the villagers would be blamed. He could not report this to his commander, either, because he did not want to mix duty with personal problems. Nurdin had a very difficult choice to make. That was the reason he could not sleep.

Nurdin thought very hard to find the best solution to his problem. No, it was not only his problem, but also Ningsih's. He did not think that Ningsih would feel happy to find her future husband was a traitor. Ningsih was proud that Nurdin had joined the guerrillas to fight the colonialists. She would be disappointed and possibly disgusted at knowing that Irawan was a traitor. But Ningsih's father always talked about the future.

"Think about your future, and also the future of your children. Irawan is a guarantee for a better and secure future."

But who really knows about the future? Would Indonesia maintain her independence, or would the Dutch return and colonize the country? They were here already, making the republic's territory smaller and smaller. In no time they would be everywhere in Indonesia, and the guerrillas would not be able to do anything but accept the reality. Irawan, as the son of a wedana, was a guarantee for a better future. That was what Ningsih's father thought about: the future life of his daughter and the future of this country, which would again become a Dutch colony.

Nurdin slipped out of the village and joined his guerrilla group. He reported to his commander the present situation in the village, the size of Dutch troops and the feelings of the villagers.

"Although they keep silent, they believe in independence and they hope we continue the struggle."

Capt. Adi nodded and called a staff meeting to discuss the possibility of attacking the Dutch unit.

"We have to ambush them during their routine patrol. I know its route. There is a strategic place from which to attack," Nurdin proposed.

They planned to ambush the patrol far outside the village so that the villagers would not be accused of harboring the guerrillas.

D day arrived. Nurdin could see the path clearly from his hiding place. Each of his friends were camouflaged with leaves. The seconds of waiting seemed ages. At last Nurdin heard a sound of a bird. It was a signal by Eko who guarded the other end of the path.

"They are coming," Nurdin whispered to a friend next to him. He did not really need to tell him, everyone in the small unit heard the signal and understood it well.

When the well-armed unit came into Nurdin's view walking in a single file, he tried hard to find Irawan among its members. He was there, leading the unit. Nurdin could see clearly now that it was Irawan.

Nurdin reached for a grenade hanging on his belt. When the unit came close enough, Nurdin could not control his emotions. He threw the grenade and shouted: "Bulls**t!"

Nurdin trembled as the earth trembled when the grenade exploded. His hate, his emotion, his spirit for freedom, all trembled. He now was not sure whether he threw the grenade for his country's independence, or for his love for Ningsih.

Singaraja, Sept. 29, 1999