Blind Yogyakarta couple find light from their love

By Ali Budiman

YOGYAKARTA (JP): Love is blind, so they say. But for a blind couple, Suwadji and Ramini, blindness has been no obstacle to their mutual love and having four healthy children.

They have been married for 11 years and Ramini, 35, is now eight month pregnant. The couple said they did not use contraception. "I get sleepy when taking the pill and become 'confused' after an injection," Ramini said.

Suwaji said the rhythm method was too risky. What about coitus interruptus? "It's hard, because it is the best part," he said, laughing.

Ramini gave birth to their first three children, all sons, at home, aided by a midwife. The fourth was delivered at the Muhammadiyah Health Center at a cost of Rp 150,000, reduced from the normal rate of Rp 200,000. But the couple does not know if Ramini will give birth to their fifth child at home or at the health center because there is no money available yet.

Suwadji, 38, said lightly: "We can only try but it is God who decides. We have no plans so far. When she gets old, it will be over anyway."

The couple, who have nearly total damage to their corneas, only cares for the fourth son; the first three are in Islamic boarding schools out of town.

Suwadji's earnings as a masseur cover daily needs, the monthly school fees of their three sons (each Rp 45,000), electricity bill (Rp 5,000) and telephone bill (about Rp 30,000). He said he had no fixed monthly income but he was governed by friendship, familial ties and mutual help.

Suwadji and his wife, a graduate of a one-year massage training program for the blind at the training center in Pemalang, Central Java, never sets a price for their services, leaving it up to their clients. People usually come to him when they are tired or suffering from aching limbs, pulled tendons and sprained ankles.

Even though he cannot see, Suwadji said his clients never cheated him. But Ramini told of unpleasant experiences before she got married. When she worked in several massage parlors in the city, some clients slipped away without paying.

Their modest house, measuring 4 meters x 12 meters, is located in Bantul, Yogyakarta. The half-brick building inherited from Ramini's parents looks neat with its new roofing. Among their valuables are a tape recorder with a sound system assembled by fellow blind people and a 14-inch television set which is only switched on by the children.

Last year they installed a telephone in their home, which allows them to receive orders by phone. They go on house visits in areas as far as 20 kms away and tote handicraft products such as brooms, dusters and carpets which they make themselves, for sale. Fulfilling an order can always be arranged as long as there is bus service to the place. Another possibility is to use a taxi if the client is willing to pick up the fare. When called away to work, they usually ask a fellow blind masseur to guard the parlor.

"As long as we hold out both our hands in prayer, imploring God the Almighty, He will help us, trust me, there is always a way," said Suwadji. "I never complain about the situation. We just go on trying to earn something. I have a wife and children ... What I have in my mind is how to take care of the children to the best of my ability so they can go to school and become good people."

Raised in the remote village of Sanden, Bantul, with a lack of nutrition and medical care, Suwadji contracted measles when he was eight years old and subsequently began to experience a deterioration in his sight. But he has preserved his mental prowess.

Suwadji married Ramini when he was 27. They got to know each other at the skills education and training center for the blind in Karangkajen, Yogyakarta.

"Yes, it started with efforts from other parties to match us up. Gradually, we felt a lot of empathy for each other. Perhaps because we shared the same fate," Ramini said, laughing heartily when recalling the period of their courtship.

"How did I know what Suwadji looked like? I once asked the woman from the social affairs office what he looked like. Was he dark?"

Suwadji in his simplicity has an admirable understanding about love and affection. He categorizes it into two groups, of "love because of ... " and "love despite ...".

"'Love because' is when one loves because the beloved is beautiful, rich, clever, sexy, etc., but it is dangerous because when the 'cause' vanishes, the beloved one becomes old, ugly, bankrupt, etc. It is different with 'love despite'. If one really loves another person, one will continue to love him or her despite the fact that he or she is blind, ugly, poor, stupid, even if the beloved one chooses another lover!'"

On this morning a drizzle was falling and Suwadji sat in the visitors' room most of the time, listening to the radio. Songs by Koes Bersaudara or his favorite Javanese tunes filled the air. Perhaps later in the afternoon there would be a radio report of a soccer match or the monthly braille magazine, published in Bandung, might come.

It is the life Suwadji and Ramini have made together. It is a simple one, but filled with joy and love for each other and their sons.