Blind Yogyakarta couple find light from their love

Blind Yogyakarta couple find light from their love

By Ali Budiman

YOGYAKARTA (JP): Love is blind, so they say. But for a blind
couple, Suwadji and Ramini, blindness has been no obstacle to
their mutual love and having four healthy children.

They have been married for 11 years and Ramini, 35, is now
eight month pregnant. The couple said they did not use
contraception. "I get sleepy when taking the pill and become
'confused' after an injection," Ramini said.

Suwaji said the rhythm method was too risky. What about coitus
interruptus? "It's hard, because it is the best part," he said,
laughing.

Ramini gave birth to their first three children, all sons, at
home, aided by a midwife. The fourth was delivered at the
Muhammadiyah Health Center at a cost of Rp 150,000, reduced from
the normal rate of Rp 200,000. But the couple does not know if
Ramini will give birth to their fifth child at home or at the
health center because there is no money available yet.

Suwadji, 38, said lightly: "We can only try but it is God who
decides. We have no plans so far. When she gets old, it will be
over anyway."

The couple, who have nearly total damage to their corneas,
only cares for the fourth son; the first three are in Islamic
boarding schools out of town.

Suwadji's earnings as a masseur cover daily needs, the monthly
school fees of their three sons (each Rp 45,000), electricity
bill (Rp 5,000) and telephone bill (about Rp 30,000). He said he
had no fixed monthly income but he was governed by friendship,
familial ties and mutual help.

Suwadji and his wife, a graduate of a one-year massage
training program for the blind at the training center in
Pemalang, Central Java, never sets a price for their services,
leaving it up to their clients. People usually come to him when
they are tired or suffering from aching limbs, pulled tendons and
sprained ankles.

Even though he cannot see, Suwadji said his clients never
cheated him. But Ramini told of unpleasant experiences before she
got married. When she worked in several massage parlors in the
city, some clients slipped away without paying.

Their modest house, measuring 4 meters x 12 meters, is located
in Bantul, Yogyakarta. The half-brick building inherited from
Ramini's parents looks neat with its new roofing. Among their
valuables are a tape recorder with a sound system assembled by
fellow blind people and a 14-inch television set which is only
switched on by the children.

Last year they installed a telephone in their home, which
allows them to receive orders by phone. They go on house visits
in areas as far as 20 kms away and tote handicraft products such
as brooms, dusters and carpets which they make themselves, for
sale. Fulfilling an order can always be arranged as long as there
is bus service to the place. Another possibility is to use a taxi
if the client is willing to pick up the fare. When called away to
work, they usually ask a fellow blind masseur to guard the
parlor.

"As long as we hold out both our hands in prayer, imploring
God the Almighty, He will help us, trust me, there is always a
way," said Suwadji. "I never complain about the situation. We
just go on trying to earn something. I have a wife and
children ... What I have in my mind is how to take care of the
children to the best of my ability so they can go to school and
become good people."

Raised in the remote village of Sanden, Bantul, with a lack of
nutrition and medical care, Suwadji contracted measles when he
was eight years old and subsequently began to experience a
deterioration in his sight. But he has preserved his mental
prowess.

Suwadji married Ramini when he was 27. They got to know each
other at the skills education and training center for the blind
in Karangkajen, Yogyakarta.

"Yes, it started with efforts from other parties to match us
up. Gradually, we felt a lot of empathy for each other. Perhaps
because we shared the same fate," Ramini said, laughing heartily
when recalling the period of their courtship.

"How did I know what Suwadji looked like? I once asked the
woman from the social affairs office what he looked like. Was he
dark?"

Suwadji in his simplicity has an admirable understanding about
love and affection. He categorizes it into two groups, of "love
because of ... " and "love despite ...".

"'Love because' is when one loves because the beloved is
beautiful, rich, clever, sexy, etc., but it is dangerous because
when the 'cause' vanishes, the beloved one becomes old, ugly,
bankrupt, etc. It is different with 'love despite'. If one really
loves another person, one will continue to love him or her
despite the fact that he or she is blind, ugly, poor, stupid,
even if the beloved one chooses another lover!'"

On this morning a drizzle was falling and Suwadji sat in the
visitors' room most of the time, listening to the radio. Songs by
Koes Bersaudara or his favorite Javanese tunes filled the air.
Perhaps later in the afternoon there would be a radio report of a
soccer match or the monthly braille magazine, published in
Bandung, might come.

It is the life Suwadji and Ramini have made together. It is a
simple one, but filled with joy and love for each other and their
sons.