Bali survivors help each other

Bali survivors help each other

I Wayan Juniartha, The Jakarta Post, Denpasar, Bali

The power of friendship and solidarity has helped four women who
lost their husbands in the Bali terrorist attack on Oct. 12,
2002, to face life again.

Luh Erniati, Warti, Ketut Jontri and Wayan Rastini, gathered
in a dim room in a house in Pemogan subdistrict, Bali, on
Saturday, said compassion and friendship from a number of
Australians had helped them emerge from their nightmares.

"I first met him in Sari Club but lost him there too. I felt
God had been unfair to me for taking such a lovely husband from
me," Erniati, 32, said.

Her husband, I Gede Badrawan, was the head waiter of the Sari
Club, the popular nightclub targeted by the killers.

Erniati's charred and mutilated body was identified by DNA
testing two months after the attack, which killed 202 people.

"After that I went back to my home village of Lemukih in
Buleleng in despair. We have two little boys, aged nine and two.
I struggled to meet their needs and cope with the loneliness and
grief," she said.

The other widows nodded sympathetically and the room grew
silent. They were all familiar with emptiness, loneliness and
despair.

Warti, 24, had only been married for five short years.

"I remember him every day, all the time. Almost anything
related to him can trigger my memory of him, from a football
match on television -- his favorite sport -- to an ice cream
vendor passing in front of our house."

Her husband Faturrachman worked at an ice cream parlor in
Kuta.

When the women fell into almost total despair, David Wedd, an
Australian philanthropist, handed them a rope to hang onto.

"He visited us regularly to give donations, such as daily
needs, medicine, and clothes. Eventually, he decided to offer us
the chance to work together, to heal together," Rastini, 31,
said.

With the help of his Australian friends, Wedd refurbished a
rented house, installed several sewing machines and established
the AdoptA Garment factory.

He recruited women widowed by the bomb attack to work in the
factory for around Rp 600,000 each per month.

"He also helped our children obtain scholarships for their
education," Rastini said.

Six widows are employed at the factory. Another 15 attend
monthly gatherings or weekly exercise classes at the building.

The building had been transformed from a workplace into a sort
of psychological catalyst for the widows, a place where they can
share their burdens and encourage each other.

"We are always busy talking with each other here. Our favorite
subject is our husbands, and there are also no secrets here. I,
for instance, know for sure that Warti dated her late husband for
only five months before they rushed into marriage," Erniati said
as she poked Warti's arm.

They are quick to burst into laughter when they discussed
private topics.

Their togetherness has helped the widows stand on their own,
brushing aside the nightmare that almost crushed them.

The widows are a living testimony of people who refuse to
succumb to an act of terrorism.