Bachelors

It strikes me as odd that many young people from Indonesia, who finish their education in European countries (Germany, the Netherlands, Switzerland), prefer to remain single after returning to Indonesia. Even those who get a job after finishing their studies prefer to remain bachelors.

My friends, some mothers of those young people, are exasperated, because most of them are in their 70s. Naturally they are worried. They reason that a man who reaches 40 usually remains a bachelor for the rest of his life. What happens when he turns 60 and has to retire by virtue of company regulations, and has no children who can take care of him?

In Europe, the "from cradle to grave" or "from womb to tomb" public welfare system is available, but as far as I know, this system does not exist in Indonesia. In my case, being a 72-year- old retiree, I wouldn't be able to make ends meet if I didn't have any children who could take care of me.

I know an unmarried woman who spends the rest of her life in a retirement home. Fortunately she has her life savings to defray her expenses, because the residents have to pay and only relatively healthy people are admitted, meaning that disabled people are not welcome.

Another acquaintance of mine, who is unmarried and is well past 70, lives alone and stubbornly refuses to employ domestic help. She defrays her expenses from interest she receives from her bank on her time-deposit. One day she stumbled and fell; she could hardly get up. Fortunately she has a very kind neighbor who helped her in her time of need.

I was told of some Indonesian parents in Holland who thought that it was high time for their beautiful and intelligent daughter to find a partner. After repeatedly persuading her to do so, the daughter lost her temper and said: Zeur niet! or Don't be finicky! I can take care of myself. I own my own house, have a good job, and have a Mercedes. What more do I need? A husband? No way!

As an old-timer, I have to admit that the way of thinking of present-day youth is different from what it was in the past.

A. DJUANA

Jakarta