Asian mothers, more than meets the eye

Asian mothers, more than meets the eye

By Izabel Deuff

JAKARTA (JP): Asian women might look quiet and shy compared to
their Western counterparts, but don't be misled. The idea that
Asian mothers are submissive is just an anachronistic myth,
according to a recent study.

"The Asian mother is neither submissive nor liberationist.
Beneath her calm exterior, she is 'simmering within'," said Mark
Blair, the regional planning director of Ogilvy & Mather Asia
Pacific.

This advertising company, one of the largest in the world,
recently conducted a study on Asian mothers. The results were
presented here this week.

One thousand two hundred mothers with dependent children from
22 cities in 12 Asian countries took part in the study, held in
the first four months of this year. They are between 25 and 45
years old, with high school as a minimum level of education.

Some are housewives, others are working women, but most are
middle or upper-class.

According to the study, a typical day of an Asian mother
begins at 5 a.m. and lasts for 16 hours during which she performs
five roles: mother, maid, manager, mediator and mate. She has
hardly any time for herself.

One of the Japanese interviewees in Tokyo expressed the
following feeling: "I want the courage to be able to say I want
something for myself."

All complained about the workload as well as the mores of
Asian society, which continues to favor men and want women to be
quiet and submissive.

A woman from Delhi said: "I don't want to be reborn as a man.
I want to be reborn as the husband of my husband!"

Unfortunately, most of the women in the study admitted they
usually give priority to their sons instead of their daughters.

Even if Asian mothers are not content with the roles they
play, they are not depressed. They give two reasons.

First, they find help through a "hidden energy" or whatever
they call it; Indonesian women define it as nerimo (fatalistic
acceptance) whereas in the Philippines, the word mahinhin
(feminine grace) was often used.

Second, to sustain their morale, they rely on hidden desires
found through specific hobbies or just by taking time to reflect.

With these energizing forces, Asian women can reach their
rising expectations which are quite different from Western
women's.

Unlike many Western mothers who are more committed to feminist
issues such as sexual independence, images of strong women and
emancipation from the "superwoman" portrayal, they claim far more
time for themselves, greater recognition within the family and a
better future for their children.

Nevertheless, differences between the women in each country
(China, Hong Kong, India, Indonesia, Japan, Malaysia, Korea,
Philippines, Singapore, Sri Lanka, Taiwan, Thailand) are
noticeable.

The study displays a three-dimension graphic to feature the
way each woman feels about life: active or passive; positive or
negative; withdrawn or energizing.

Mothers from Sri Lanka, Japan and Malaysia are the most closed
in upon themselves and inactive, whereas Philippine and Hong Kong
women are the most energizing.

According to the same diagram, Indonesian mothers, along with
their Indian counterparts, could be defined as coping. They seem
to accept playing many roles, but their main preoccupation is to
maintain harmony in the household by finding compromises.

They look for something to substitute for their own needs and
know how to manipulate their relatives to get what they want by
rationalizing. This behavior was illustrated by the following
sentence by an Indonesian woman: "Instead of confronting my
husband about the shortage of money, I simply ask him to
accompany me to the supermarket."

According to the study, Indonesian mothers don't want
household roles reversed; don't like being overcared for but at
the same time don't want to be completely independent; don't like
feeling they are the boss, and dare not set themselves free.

When performing the role of a maid, women from Jakarta are not
absorbed in their task and for love, they don't accept a
situation taken for granted nor consider their partner as their
best friend.

But this Asian study is unfortunately not representative of
all Indonesian mothers: it only focuses on 60 percent of
advertisers' targeted market. Only 80 Indonesian women living in
Jakarta or in its suburbs: Tangerang, Bekasi and Depok, were
chosen. Their jobs varied from entrepreneur, insurance manager,
secretary to architect.

In other words, most of the results of the study refer to
mothers who, despite the monetary and economic crisis, are still
able to respond to advertisements.

Based on the study, advertising agencies should take into
account the new portrayal of the better-off Asian mother living
in a period of transition: in a society which has flourished
economically but not socially. They also shouldn't forget the
nuances contained within Asia.