Are party favors out of favor?

JAKARTA (JP): A seminar was held recently at one of our new five star hotels. The topic was simple, yet the attendance was overwhelming. Everybody wanted to hear what Professor Valentino, the well-known psychiatrist, had to say about keepsakes given out at weddings.

He said "when I was a child, I loved going to wedding parties. Weddings were small then, but it did not matter to us children, because we really came for the party keepsakes rather than anything else. At Chinese weddings, we would get a red envelope with money, at Malay weddings eggs were given out. No, not just an egg, but cooked eggs beautifully tied to a bamboo stick, decorated with colorful strips of paper. We would buy sweets with the money and the eggs, of course, were eaten. For villagers coming from distant places, these eggs were very welcome as a snack for the journey home.

The tradition of giving party keepsakes at weddings has suddenly appeared in Jakarta and has recently become a trend. And now we are in a kind of competition to give the most original keepsakes. Whereas some are considered welcome, like potpourri to keep clothes fresh, others are considered a shame to throw away.

During the discussion several solutions were put forward. One person suggested that a thank you note should be enough. But others scolded her for being stingy.

An elegantly dressed and bejeweled lady stood and said "look, we are generous to the bridal couples and always bring presents when we go to their parties. There was a time that they received up to three truck loads of presents. But it was not fun to receive forty dozen glasses, fifty or more clocks, 12 dinner sets etc. Now they ask for a money donation. They include a little card in the invitation, suggesting they would appreciate money more than presents or flowers. Isn't it fair that they show their gratitude in the form of a souvenir?"

Someone else said "that's it. You are so right. But I don't think it is fair that they shower us with all those souvenirs. Once I had to go to twenty weddings in a month. Besides standing in line for hours at the receptions because bridal couples always come late, we received no less than five magnets to stick on the fridge, six key chains, two fans, two ball points, a cook book, a poetry book, and three mugs with the photographs of the couples printed on them. I suggest that they should start giving out perishable things, like a piece of the wedding cake or maybe the traditional egg."

But that does not seem to be the solution. Many ladies think that they deserve to receive souvenirs. What they do with them is their business, but they insist on getting acknowledgement for the trouble they go to when attending a wedding reception. As usual, Prof. Valentino asked for the floor's attention to give his final advice:

"Ladies and gentlemen," he said, "I think I have a good suggestion. A few months ago, a lady who was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, came to my consultation room. She is the owner of The Peak a well-known flower shop in town. This lady was robbed of her business by that little card requesting guests not to send flowers as presents. She saw her business dropping by fifty percent. Now, is that fair? This lady was even considering going into the business of making keepsakes to replace her losses. I would therefore call upon all prospective brides and grooms, to consider giving her part of her business back. I would suggest that they give a flower as a keepsake. What do you think ladies and gentlemen, can you appreciate a nice red rose to carry home?"

A big applause was the answer, whereupon the seminar was closed and on leaving the hall, the guests were presented with a keepsake -- a red rose with a little card saying: "With compliments from Professor Valentino."

-- Myra Sidharta