Ancient traditions die hard

Ancient customs and traditions do not easily disappear, especially among ethnic Chinese-Indonesian families, even though they are not always in accordance with the modern way of thinking. Take the belief that it is taboo for a boy and girl with the same Chinese surname to marry. The ancient belief has it that their forefathers might have belonged to one and the same family, although it might concern ancestors of centuries ago.

In such a case, the most serious accusation is incest. To cut a long story short: about half a century ago, I knew of a young man and a young woman who were deeply in love. It was nothing extraordinary except that they had the same surname. Naturally, the parents of both were strongly opposed to their marriage. Even in Western countries, a marriage between two young people with the same surname is extremely rare.

The youngsters eloped and married secretly. I happened to meet them when they were on their way to a photo studio to have their picture taken in their wedding attire. I saw them from a distance but pretended not to notice them. Alas, shortly after the couple had a child, the young husband died, apparently from a heart attack while driving. It happened as he slowed down to fill his vehicle's tank at a gas station. His death seemed to conform to the belief that a wedding without the parents' consent is bound to bring misfortune.

According to Chinese belief, cousins are not allowed to marry if their fathers are brothers. It is unwise to wholly ignore such an ancient belief which has been passed from one generation to another.

A. DJUANA

Jakarta