Ancient traditions die hard

Ancient traditions die hard

Ancient customs and traditions do not easily disappear,
especially among ethnic Chinese-Indonesian families, even though
they are not always in accordance with the modern way of
thinking. Take the belief that it is taboo for a boy and girl
with the same Chinese surname to marry. The ancient belief has it
that their forefathers might have belonged to one and the same
family, although it might concern ancestors of centuries ago.

In such a case, the most serious accusation is incest. To cut
a long story short: about half a century ago, I knew of a young
man and a young woman who were deeply in love. It was nothing
extraordinary except that they had the same surname. Naturally,
the parents of both were strongly opposed to their marriage. Even
in Western countries, a marriage between two young people with
the same surname is extremely rare.

The youngsters eloped and married secretly. I happened to meet
them when they were on their way to a photo studio to have their
picture taken in their wedding attire. I saw them from a distance
but pretended not to notice them. Alas, shortly after the couple
had a child, the young husband died, apparently from a heart
attack while driving. It happened as he slowed down to fill his
vehicle's tank at a gas station. His death seemed to conform to
the belief that a wedding without the parents' consent is bound
to bring misfortune.

According to Chinese belief, cousins are not allowed to marry
if their fathers are brothers. It is unwise to wholly ignore such
an ancient belief which has been passed from one generation to
another.

A. DJUANA

Jakarta