An apology makes a difference
When you accidentally bump into someone, who was standing in your way, you would, as a civilized person, automatically say, "Sorry!", perhaps even more than once. This is to show that it was an accident and that you were sorry.
It is still fresh in our minds how a "missile warfare", so to speak, between the USA and China was narrowly averted. In diplomacy, apparently, there is no such word called "apology". The Chinese wanted to hear it from the Americans, in English or in Mandarin, because they lost a fighter plane and a pilot following a midair collision between a U.S. spy plane on a surveillance flight and a Chinese fighter jet that was trying to chase the "intruders" away.
I am not going to elaborate on that unfortunate accident. Instead I shall relate to you my own experience with the word "apology". About 10 years ago, along with a colleague from Antara news agency, I attended a discourse on human rights in New York given by a United Nations official. The room was full, but I noticed that there were only three men in the audience. The UN official had only begun speaking when I raised my hand and stood up. When everyone looked at me puzzled, I told the gathering, "I am a visiting journalist from Indonesia. I would like to offer my apology for the fact that there are only three men in the audience among the about thirty ladies". The remark and apology was not necessary of course, since I did nothing wrong and most men were in their offices that morning.
But the ladies apparently appreciated my remark and many burst into laughter. They were most probably under the impression that women had the supremacy everywhere. I have a sense of humor and I like to make people smile, that's why I used the word "apology". Such remarks may not be well-understood in some cultures where you are expected to keep quiet and listen to the speaker.
Today, I'd like to apologize to The Jakarta Post readers for all that I had written in this letters column for more than three years almost every week. The Indonesian Museum of Record (MURI), led by Pak Jaya Suprana and Pak Paulus Pangka, is awarding me a certificate in breaking the international record for writing letters to a newspaper. I would like to thank the editors in the Post for giving me so much newspaper space over the years and my humble apologies to all the readers for my rather often intrusion during breakfast.
GANDHI SUKARDI
Jakarta