America the greatest on earth? Just ask an American for the answer

JAKARTA (JP): As a enthusiastic visitor to the U.S., I am always fascinated by the Yankee penchant and continuing love affair with the superlative. The media was totally dominated by drugs and Dick Daviloff during my too-short visit. All too short, but oh-so eventful.

A sunny summer, the radio said, turned to fall at 3:59 a.m. on Monday, Sept. 22. The Senate passed a tax reform bill reducing personal and corporate taxes, to which equal numbers reacted, both with praise and criticism!.

The newspapers were full of the Mafia drug-running business, estimated at $110 billion annually, and TV kept showing the New York Yankees beating the Chicago Red Sox 28-24. But through this all, the lasting memory of "the land of the brave, the land of the free" is of the constant and overwhelming need for everyone and everything to be the Biggest and the Best.

As our aircraft hovered gently over Manhattan, crossing the picturesque Hudson River in a smooth descent to JFK, my American neighbor leaned over my seat, craned his neck, and peered out of the window.

"Gawd!" he exclaimed, genuine pride written large all over his excited face. "Take a look. That's our beautiful lady, mother of exiles, restored and rebuilt. Ain't she beautiful? She's the grandest in the whole wide world!"

The fact that, by his own admission, he had seen only two cities in the world did not inhibit his enthusiasm, nor reduce the authority in his voice an iota.

On landing at John F. Kennedy International Airport, he told me it was the "busiest" (well, almost, O'Hare in Chicago is). And with similar minor, not to be argued about, approximations, he declared the Empire State Building to be the tallest, Lincoln Tunnel the longest, 5th Avenue the richest and Times Square the brightest. Who was I to question, correct or contradict?

The loss of my effusive, effervescent traveling companion was more than made up for in the irrepressible enthusiasm of Americans I came across each day. Wonderful, cheerful, friendly people, ever ready to lend a helping hand and even more ready to tell you of the glory and wonders of their chosen land.

Everything I was shown or experienced, my bubbling hosts assured me was the mostest. And over the following days I revealed in sharing their instinctive wonderment and unalloyed appreciation of all things American.

The Skyline drive on the Blue Ridge Mountains at the Shenandoah National Park was the most scenic. The Mississippi river was the longest (only if you add the Missouri), the Cadillac Allante the costliest, Peterson's chicken the tastiest, Wampler Turkey the meatiest and Florida oranges the juiciest. My enforced education continued.

I was shown the Mid Americas Mall at Memphis, the longest, Diana Ross and the Supremes the swingiest, Richard Pryor the funniest. And so it went on and on. Mary Quant and Vidal Sassoon the trendiest (even though both were British-born), Sylvester Stallone the strongest and there was no arguing that Brooke Shields is the prettiest.

In the midst of all this, who could blame Kraft cheese for claiming to be the cheesiest? Alliteration apart, even in despair and despondency there is ..est! Haven't you heard, billionaires Bunker and Nelson Hunt are now the brokest?

Somewhat tentatively, but bravely I ventured to make a few attempts to tell my companions of another world outside of the U.S. Of the serenity of the sunrise at Mount Bromo, the ancient grandeur of Luxor and Aswan, the magnificent multiple rainbows in the chasm of "The Smoke that Thunders" at Victoria Falls.

Of the beauty of Alexandria and the Acropolis, Bunaken and Bali, Gorongoro and Godzo. They evinced polite interest at first and then looked quizzically through me as if I were talking of some sparse craters on the moon. I learned then that in the land of ...est, all that glitters is indeed gold, but only if it is in the U.S.

My last stop before leaving was Montclair, New Jersey, to visit my friend Gopi. A signboard on his lawn proclaimed "The best house in New Jersey". After a sumptuous meal and exchange of memories of college days spent together 25 years ago, I asked Gopi, tongue in cheek, "How do you know that this is the best house in New Jersey?"

He neither blanched nor batted an eyelid. "Hey man, go out and read the signboard. It says so!"

I knew then that Gopi had become a true Yank!

-- Alex Abraham