All talked out: Who's got bragging rights

On the first evening of the Idul Fitri holiday, my nephews were busy counting how much money they made that day in gifts from their parents, relatives and neighbors.

"I have much more money than you," boasted my six-year-old nephew Muhammad.

"No, I have more than you," Sultan, a year younger, insisted, patting his bulging pockets.

They tried recounting their respective takings, and still could not get it right, confused about the numbers.

But the fight was far from over. In a minute, they were shouting at each other, neither of them willing to give in.

Even when their mother intervened, telling them "it's not nice to brag", they were still yelling at each other.

That's children for you, right? Unfortunately, I find that bragging and an I'm-always-right attitude have invaded our once modest and friendly society.

While visiting another relative's home during the holiday, I overheard a neighbor recounting in great detail how much money she had spent buying new clothes for her entire family, ordering food and getting all brand-new furniture.

"And my husband has also ordered tickets for us to spend the rest of the Idul Fitri holiday in Bali," the neighbor said proudly.

I felt a bit happier when I heard the neighbor compliment my relative on her homemade cookies.

Uh, not so fast.

"They're good ... but the cookies that I ordered for my family are much more delicious," the neighbor said, packaging her dig in a sweet tone and a smile.

I did not dare look at my relative's face -- I knew that it had taken her weeks to prepare her cookies.

So much for celebrating the day in the spirit of joy and togetherness. Yet, bragging rights are not restricted to the holiday season.

Just the other day, I heard someone holding court about making a new, expensive purchase.

"I am still confused about what type of car I will buy," he told his audience, who nodded their heads in unison at his quandary.

Or what about the person who goes on and on about how hard she works -- pumping up her pride and status while conveniently forgetting to give credit to the loyal team of people backing her up.

Some gullible souls swallow the boastful claims hook, line and sinker, and that squeaky wheel really does get the oil.

A friend complained that her deficiencies on this count -- lack of blarney, inability to shoot the breeze, lay the butter on nice and thick -- was her downfall.

"I thought that people would realize I'm good because of my work; that my work itself would 'communicate' my skills, but I was wrong," she said.

Research shows that knowing what to say, even if it means playing with the truth, helps in climbing the corporate ladder. I'm not advising the "tongue tied" among us to rush off to one of those personal development courses to polish up their communication skills or to start practicing their delivery in front of the mirror.

But even our President, known as a woman of very few words, seems to have realized that it's time to speak up and make herself heard.

In the last week, a public service announcement of the President offering Idul Fitri greetings was all over the airwaves. Cynics would say that she is just trying to make herself heard ahead of next year's elections, as many of her prospective opponents have already started to have their say.

The wife of one of these potential opponents -- the big corruptor who went and returned all the money to absolve himself of guilt -- was on TV on Saturday morning, mumbling through her tears about all the hardship she has had to endure while conveniently leaving out the facts of her husband's monumental malfeasance.

It's at times like these that I realize that talk really is cheap. So, do we really need to have lots of talking going on, or should we just get the job done? -- Sheera Anwar