AIDS shatters a would-be bride's dream

By T. Sima Gunawan

JAKARTA (JP): Ria's dream to marry Tio in July this year has been shattered. Her fiance died, three months before the big day of AIDS.

Her life will never be the same, not just because Tio has gone but also because Ria herself has been infected with AIDS.

When Ria took Tio to Puri Cinere Hospital in South Jakarta late in March this year. They had no idea he was HIV infected. They went to the hospital because Tio had a nasty cough, which was diagnosed as pneumonia. After a few days in the hospital Tio's condition had not improved and the doctor, who sensed that Tio had more than pneumonia, took his blood for an AIDS test.

The result showed that Tio had full blown AIDS.

Upon the doctor's suggestion, Ria was also tested and found that she had the virus.

The doctor told the couple that the hospital was not prepared to treat AIDS patients and told Ria to take Tio to Sulianto Saroso Hospital for Infectious Diseases in Sunter, North Jakarta. Ria asked the hospital to let Tio stay another night as she needed time to arrange things and talk to her family. But the hospital insisted on Tio being transferred right away.

After about two weeks in Sulianto Saroso Hospital, Tio insisted on going home.

"It was five in the morning. Tio looked excited by the idea of going home and asked for fried chicken. But how could I get fried chicken in Sunter at five in the morning?" the 23-year-old Ria told The Jakarta Post.

Tio died at home at the age of 29 the next day.

"I did not tell him that he had it (AIDS). I was afraid that his condition would get worse if he knew. Was I wrong?" Ria asked.

She said that Tio might have had some idea that he had AIDS because long before Tio met Ria three years ago, he was a drug addict.

"When he died I was very angry. I was angry with the fact that he was a drug addict. I was angry with the people who made him unhappy, which caused him to run to drugs," she said.

Not long after Tio's death, the local health agency sent people to Ria's house in Bogor. They came in a van marked with the words "Communicable Disease Control and Sanitation" and parked right in front of her house.

Five men in white uniforms then stepped into the house and started to "interrogate" Ria about her sexual activities, including the last time she had sex.

They seemed relieved to find out that Ria was a "good woman", and left.

Last year, a bus full of uniformed people from the health agency and other government offices went to the Bangun Sari red- light district in Surabaya to pick up just one prostitute who had tested positive for AIDS.

Ria is one of 20 people with HIV/AIDS who are currently clients of Yayasan Pelita Ilmu, a non-governmental organization addressing the AIDS issue in Jakarta.

"There used to be 24 AIDS sufferers here, but four of them died last month," said Husein Habsyi, manager of the organization's caring services.

Ria realizes that AIDS is incurable and that her life might not be long.

"I have given up my ambition to be an art teacher and to be a great artist. I don't have a long-term plan now. I do my work on a day-to-day basis," she said without much emotion.

"I have started to calculate the medical costs and those of my funeral. Me and Tio had a list of people who were supposed to be invited to our wedding. I will use the list for my funeral. I also start to think what to do with Tio's books and mine if I die. Do you think I am morbid?" she asked.

"I am not afraid of dying. I will not feel humiliated to die because of AIDS. To me, this is just one of many ways to die. I was just unprepared to face the fact that Tio and me did not die at the same time."

Ria, however, is tough.

"I don't want people to take pity on me. I don't want them to treat me differentially because I have been infected by the virus," she said.