AIDS shatters a would-be bride's dream
AIDS shatters a would-be bride's dream
By T. Sima Gunawan
JAKARTA (JP): Ria's dream to marry Tio in July this year has
been shattered. Her fiance died, three months before the big day
of AIDS.
Her life will never be the same, not just because Tio has gone
but also because Ria herself has been infected with AIDS.
When Ria took Tio to Puri Cinere Hospital in South Jakarta
late in March this year. They had no idea he was HIV infected.
They went to the hospital because Tio had a nasty cough, which
was diagnosed as pneumonia. After a few days in the hospital
Tio's condition had not improved and the doctor, who sensed that
Tio had more than pneumonia, took his blood for an AIDS test.
The result showed that Tio had full blown AIDS.
Upon the doctor's suggestion, Ria was also tested and found
that she had the virus.
The doctor told the couple that the hospital was not prepared
to treat AIDS patients and told Ria to take Tio to Sulianto
Saroso Hospital for Infectious Diseases in Sunter, North Jakarta.
Ria asked the hospital to let Tio stay another night as she
needed time to arrange things and talk to her family. But the
hospital insisted on Tio being transferred right away.
After about two weeks in Sulianto Saroso Hospital, Tio
insisted on going home.
"It was five in the morning. Tio looked excited by the idea of
going home and asked for fried chicken. But how could I get fried
chicken in Sunter at five in the morning?" the 23-year-old Ria
told The Jakarta Post.
Tio died at home at the age of 29 the next day.
"I did not tell him that he had it (AIDS). I was afraid that
his condition would get worse if he knew. Was I wrong?" Ria
asked.
She said that Tio might have had some idea that he had AIDS
because long before Tio met Ria three years ago, he was a drug
addict.
"When he died I was very angry. I was angry with the fact that
he was a drug addict. I was angry with the people who made him
unhappy, which caused him to run to drugs," she said.
Not long after Tio's death, the local health agency sent
people to Ria's house in Bogor. They came in a van marked with
the words "Communicable Disease Control and Sanitation" and
parked right in front of her house.
Five men in white uniforms then stepped into the house and
started to "interrogate" Ria about her sexual activities,
including the last time she had sex.
They seemed relieved to find out that Ria was a "good woman",
and left.
Last year, a bus full of uniformed people from the health
agency and other government offices went to the Bangun Sari red-
light district in Surabaya to pick up just one prostitute who had
tested positive for AIDS.
Ria is one of 20 people with HIV/AIDS who are currently
clients of Yayasan Pelita Ilmu, a non-governmental organization
addressing the AIDS issue in Jakarta.
"There used to be 24 AIDS sufferers here, but four of them
died last month," said Husein Habsyi, manager of the
organization's caring services.
Ria realizes that AIDS is incurable and that her life might
not be long.
"I have given up my ambition to be an art teacher and to be a
great artist. I don't have a long-term plan now. I do my work on
a day-to-day basis," she said without much emotion.
"I have started to calculate the medical costs and those of my
funeral. Me and Tio had a list of people who were supposed to be
invited to our wedding. I will use the list for my funeral. I
also start to think what to do with Tio's books and mine if I
die. Do you think I am morbid?" she asked.
"I am not afraid of dying. I will not feel humiliated to die
because of AIDS. To me, this is just one of many ways to die. I
was just unprepared to face the fact that Tio and me did not die
at the same time."
Ria, however, is tough.
"I don't want people to take pity on me. I don't want them to
treat me differentially because I have been infected by the
virus," she said.