Adjusting to preschool takes time for children

Dear Dr. Donya,

I read your article last month about letting children adjust to preschool comfortably. My 23-month-old son seems to be having a problem with that.

It's been almost four weeks since he started preschool. For four weeks I've attended school with him and stayed with him throughout. I've tried assuring him, giving him my picture, promising him candy but to no avail; he still insists that I hold his hand. Please help! I don't know how to make him stop clinging to me.

He also does the same at bedtime. He's almost two years old but has not slept through the night since he was born.

Though I am happy that he is very attached to me, I just don't know how to handle his clinging. How do I assure him that there is no reason for him to be insecure? How do I handle his crying and tantrum bouts? How do I encourage him to be more independent? How do I get him to sleep through the night on his own?

I would appreciate any suggestions from you. Thank you for your time.

-- Bin

Dear Bin,

You are not the only one; most parents have the same problem. You have to believe he will be fine, it will take time. He will learn to accept that you will return to pick him up. Try staying with him less time each day until you can eventually drop him off and leave.

He is still very young and two year olds are in the process of transformation from dependence to independence. To be independent is a new experience so he needs guidelines and reassurance. Do not hurry if he is not ready. The only suggestion I would give is be patient, be consistent and love him with all your heart.

-- Dr. Donya