Adjusting to preschool: Part of the growing up process
Adjusting to preschool: Part of the growing up process
Donya Betancourt, Pediatrician, Sanur, Bali, drdonya@hotmail.com
Entering a learning environment filled with unfamiliar
teachers and other children can cause a great deal of anxiety and
anticipation for your child.
Studies have shown that the more comfortable you are as a
parent about your decision to place your child in preschool and
the more familiar the setting can be made for your child, the
fewer problems you -- and your child -- will encounter.
Making school a known entity to your toddler as much as
possible before the first day can greatly reduce any separation
anxiety your child may feel as he leaves your care for the first
time.
Before the first day of preschool, gradually introduce your
child to activities commonly done in a classroom. A child
accustomed to playing with paper and crayons at home, for
example, will find it comforting to discover the same crayons and
paper in the preschool classroom.
Let your child explore and observe the class in her or his own
way, choosing whether to interact with other children. The idea
is to familiarize the child with the classroom and to let him or
her get comfortable. You can use this time to ask your child's
future teacher what special procedures the school has for dealing
with the first few days, when tear-filled good-byes are most
common.
Although it is necessary for parents to acknowledge the
important step their child is taking, too much emphasis on the
change may heighten anxiety. Toddlers have an ability to pick up
on their parents' nonverbal cues. If you feel guilty or worried,
your child will probably sense that. The more calm and assured
you are about your choice to send your child to preschool, the
more confident your child will be.
When you enter the classroom on the first day, calmly
reintroduce the teacher to your child, then step back and let him
or her set the tone. This will allow the teacher to begin forming
a relationship with your child. If your child clings to you or
refuses to participate in the class, do not get upset -- it may
only upset her or him more.
The suggestions for leaving your child at preschool are simple
but can be hard on a parent. Always say good-bye to your child,
but once you do, you should leave promptly. Never sneak out. As
tempting as it may be, leaving without saying good-bye to your
child risks losing his or her trust in you, whereas a long
farewell scene might only serve to reinforce a child's sense
that preschool is a bad place. A consistent and predictable
farewell ritual can make leaving easier.
Some parents wave from outside a certain classroom window or
make a funny good-bye face whereas others read a short book
before parting. Transitional objects can also help; a family
picture, a special doll, or a favorite blanket can comfort your
child.
Regardless of whether your child shows signs of separation
anxiety, make sure that a school staff member is ready to help
your child with the transfer from your care to the classroom when
you arrive in the morning.
Some children may need to be introduced into the activities of
other children in a special way, whereas others might want a
private cuddle and a story from a caregiver after you go.
Many preschools begin with a daily ritual, such as circle
time, when teachers and children talk about what they did the day
before and that day's activities.
Feeling anxious in a particularly uncomfortable situation
never feels very good. However, with children, such feelings are
not only normal, they are also necessary. Experiencing and
dealing with anxieties can prepare young people to handle the
unsettling experiences and challenging situations of life. In the
end the child's transition from the privacy of home care to the
intimacy of preschool is more about attitude than aptitude.
The best advice I can offer is for parents to be comfortable
with their decision to place their child in school. The child
will learn to accept the situation for what it is, a part of
growing up.