Adapting Koran to current realities

Hera Diani, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

For a 34 year-old, Muslim preacher-cum-gender activist Siti Ruqoyyah Ma'shum has been through more than most women her age in the marital department.

Growing up and living in the strict Islamic boarding school surroundings of the small, poor regency of Bondowoso, East Java, Ruqoyyah was forced to marry a son of her father's cleric colleague when she was barely 15 years old.

Arranged since she was a toddler, the marriage, however, ended in divorce as her husband and his family could not accept the fact that Ruqoyyah was as a better and more popular preacher than her ex-husband, she said.

She moved on to husband No 2. A well-educated politician and seemingly pious, he turned out to be an abusive partner who also practiced polygamy. The second marriage also ended, but not after Ruqoyyah said was a long, agonizing and discriminatory process in the religious court.

For many women it is often through these bitter, first-hand experiences that they realize the continuing discrimination practiced against their sex. The difference with Ruqoyyah, however, was she wanted to make sure other women around her would not have to go through the same fate.

Ruqoyyah uses regular Islamic gatherings not only as the venue to spread Islamic teachings but also as an opportunity to campaign for gender equality and equity.

"I regularly teach all-woman congregations, from children to the elderly. Apart from preaching, I also make myself available to them for consultations on anything, from religious issues to marital problems. This is where I familiarize gender issues to them," said the softly spoken activist.

Islamic boarding schools are places where the patriarchal culture is deeply entrenched, but Ruqoyyah benefits from her position as a respected figure, given her experience in preaching.

"It's a matter of a good approach. We can't just use sophisticated gender terms -- we need to explain the substance. We must not confront (the ulema), but instead be very well- mannered, and respectful -- especially to the elderly clerics," she said.

Ruqoyyah's approach has won the heart of many male clerics and she is often invited to preach to all-male congregations as well. Despite a strongly chauvinistic culture, with polygamy practiced widely, many ulema were not resistant to her progressive ideas, she said.

However, other ulema had challenged her by attacking her campaigning when they shared podiums, attempting to discredit her and her ideas.

"I usually come to them, asking them not to attack me in public, because that means deceiving people. There is a change, somehow. At least some preachers don't use sexist humor that much anymore," she said.

Ruqoyyah first rose to prominence as a preacher in 1989 as her then father-in-law saw her potential and nurtured her, teaching her public speaking and sometimes asking her to be his substitute.

"My late father was well educated; he graduated from Al Azhar University, Cairo. But he still bowed to the patriarchal culture in the boarding school," said the mother of a teenage son.

Her father-in-law's attention, however, sparked her first husband's and relatives' jealousy, who said it was unethical for a woman to outshine her husband.

Other challenges also came from women who, being mistresses or other wives, condemned Ruqoyyah's progressive ideas.

"I let them be. I just let women know their own rights and the consequences of their choices. I don't teach women to be harsh to their husbands, or ask second wives for a divorce.

"On the other hand, if women accept polygamy, I always tell them not to whine or speak ill of their husbands but accept their situation," she said.

Ruqoyyah fought back against her second husband who, she said, frequently beat her, did not give her financial support, sexually assaulted her and eventually married another woman while he was still married to Ruqoyyah.

Only then did Ruqoyyah realize how insensitive and sexist the legal system was here to a woman filing for divorce. The process was lengthy, the judges and lawyers smirked at her, and when the process was finally completed after three years, there was no alimony -- the foregone conclusion when a woman files for divorce.

"That's why many women who are financially dependent on their husbands never file for a divorce, no matter what. There are many weaknesses in our legal system with regard to women ... But I wanted to at least show (people) that nobody is above the law and no one can treat women unjustly," Ruqoyyah said.

Single now, she is actively involved in several organizations, including Puan Amal Hayati and the Wahid Institute, which are affiliated with Nahdhatul Ulama (NU), the largest Muslim organization in the country, as well as women's organizations such as Rahima.

The frequent training and workshops provided by these organizations have made her articulate in conveying her ideas about the issues of contemporary Islam. She also hosts a regular radio program on Islam and gender, travels around the country and has also been to the United States for an interfaith dialog.

Her hometown, the poor Prajekan village in Bondowoso, however, is where her heart is.

Asked about the toughest case she had ever been involved in there, Ruqoyyah said it was when a grandfather raped his granddaughter and the fifth-grader became pregnant.

The girl's family came to Ruqoyyah for help as there was no institution helping to empower women in the town.

Ruqoyyah advised the family to allow the girl to abort the child, although local ulema condemned this as haram (unlawful and sinful).

"Sometimes local figures are insensitive and follow the (religious) texts too strictly. But this girl was so young, she had a long journey ahead of her. We couldn't marry her to the father, either, as it was her grandfather, and besides, the pregnancy was only one month old," she said.

A clinic they went to objected the abortion at first, but then agreed to do it free of charge, as the family was poor.

The girl is still at school and is a regular member of religious gatherings led by Ruqoyyah.

The grandfather still lives in the area, although he has been ostracized by the local community.

"People need us to provide solutions. In a case like that, we cannot preach. I often tell my congregation that religious texts cannot be changed, particularly the Koran. But the interpretation can and must be adapted to current realities," she said.

Her sincere wish is to return to her school, delayed because of her forced marriage.

"I always tell my son when he's lazy to go to school, look at ummi (mom); I'm old but I'm eager to go back to school," she said, laughing.