Achieving a balance in life
Pri Notowidigdo, The Amrop Hever Group, Global Executive Search, (e-mail: jakarta@amrophever.com)
What would happen if you receive a frantic call unexpectedly in the early afternoon from your spouse? She sounds desperate as she tells you that she is struggling against time to finish a report by three in the afternoon for her biggest client.
The problem is that she will not be able to pick up your daughter from school at 2:30 p.m. She asks you whether you could pick her up instead? Busy with your own report, you want to say that you can't help today because you have your own report to finish by the next day.
You and your wife normally take turns picking your daughter up and driving her to your mother's house since both of you work fairly close to the school. Today is an impossible day for everyone. None of your relatives are available to help. What's the way out of this?
What are the issues? Is it your wife's problem because she didn't plan well? Can you perhaps blame it on extenuating circumstances? It would be easy to just say "No, I can't do it". But someone has to do it. Is it your wife's problem? Or is it both your problem?
By letting the heat of the moment pass, you could look at things from a new perspective and be able to really hear your wife's call for cooperation and help. Let's look at a number of questions that people in similar situations have raised to shed light on resolving the issues. * Is the key to a truly balanced lifestyle how you feel about it on the inside rather than on what you do on the outside? * Does it make sense to listen to yourself first and not to everybody else? What are your own standards and definitions of balance? * What do you want in life and how will you go about getting them? * Can you say to yourself that you can overcome any barrier (or at least try), no matter how challenging? * Do you need to learn to say "no" more to requests that you really don't want to do? * Are you a practical problem-solver? Or do you have to talk it out for a long time before you act? * Do you react positively to events and interaction to enable you to shape a positive reality? * Are you willing to be human and touch others in your life? Can you be open to new experiences? Can you listen to and respond to others? Can you learn from everything and everyone? Can you try to make those around you laugh?
People only truly achieve balance when they choose to live the way they want to. They feel a balance when they're inwardly confident about what they're doing. In the final analysis, seeking balance is an ongoing process.