A writer's tale of life with breast cancer
Cheers to Life! -- One Woman's Dance with Breast Cancer; By Grace Segran; Published by the author; 132 pp; Rp 80,000
JAKARTA (JP): Breast cancer! A death sentence!? Many of us might feel that way. We might feel ambivalent about picking up a book about a woman's struggle with breast cancer. But Cheers to Life? A dance with breast cancer?
Yes, even from the optimistic upward surge of the cover title and the dramatic confidence it expresses we sense that this book is vibrant and inspiring. And it's much more than that. It's racy, funny, honest and touching.
As we read, we find ourselves caught up in the drama, not just of Grace's life, but also of the crashing, life-changing impact of her dance with the dreaded disease on her husband, Raja and her 15-year-old daughter, Bessie, both of whom contribute to the book -- Raja through an honest, life-affirming prologue and epilogue, Bessie through the chapter, "Bessie's Story" and her evocative poem "Our Midnight Song".
And Grace's own personality shines through -- a fighter, a fun person, open, warm, sometimes crazily fearful, sometimes emboldened by a determined faith.
This is truly a funny book, racy and colorfully written. There is the first trip from Singapore to Jakarta, hiding her bald pate under her hat and feeling rather apprehensive.
In sharing with us the impact of chemotherapy on the taste buds, causing a perpetual metallic taste, Grace describes her shopping sprees for extra spicy snack foods:
"The economy was pretty slow at that time, but you could say I single-handedly keep the snack industry buoyant. As you can see the effort did not go fruitless; the economy has rebounded."
Even honest sharing of fears is tinged with humor, as exemplified in the e-mail "Hi Doc" with the list of reasons for dreading a general anesthetic, including:
Fear 4 : What if I DON'T come out of GA -- then I won't be able to say goodbye to my family and friends?
Fear 5 : What if they give me insufficient GA so that I appear to be asleep but I know what's going on around me and feel the pain?
AAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! No GA p-l-e-a-s-e!!!
Another attractive feature of the book is the honesty expressed in Grace's typically communicative style.
For those of us whose lives have not been closely touched by cancer, Grace's sharing answers many questions. Her book is alive with people -- and from these people we learn -- her oncologist whose magnificent sense of humor matches Grace's and whose concern helps her maintain her perspective, the Italian restaurant manager and the taxi driver with their varied responses, curious little Eunice who is determined to find out why Auntie Grace is wearing a hat.
Grace's sharing is touching, but not cheaply sentimental. One of the most moving chapters is "Eternity in a Prom Dress" describing Grace's determination to tag along with Bessie for one and finally two days in the Singapore Christmas crowds, looking for that one perfect prom dress. Bessie's concern-driven suggestion that Mom not accompany her on the second day causes Grace to break down.
This is a wise book, sharing not the wisdom of cheap platitudes, but the wisdom gained by traveling through the valley of the shadow of death. Grace's explanation of the motives compelling her to share the prom dress shopping expedition unplug a well of imprisoned emotion within Bessie. Grace shares with us the cancer-taught wisdom:
"When crisis, such as cancer strikes, everyone puts on a facade and wears masks. Both the victim and the family members. We take on new roles. We repress our anger -- mostly for the sake of others. We put on a brave front when there's really a need for grieving and coming to terms with the situation. We need to release our fears, to be open and transparent. It is in sharing that we come to terms with the pain and the burden."
Strong emotion and conviction are expressed evocatively, as when Grace describes her delight in viewing a sunset from a plane. "Each time I watch the sun set, I imagine that when it's time for me to die I shall soar majestically into the sunset."
Grace shares the intense and dramatic dance with us -- pain and exhilaration, fear and faith. Through the book we learn, in view of the uncertainty and beauty of all of our lives, to say "Yes" to the things worth giving our time to, to celebrate life, seizing the day, the only day and the only life we will have, allowing the Great Choreographer to imbue our short sojourn in this world with eternal significance.
-- Anne Parapak
Available from ICAC (Lebak Bulus 1) and ANZA House (Puri Sakti). Mail orders available from cheers_to_life@hotmail.com.