A Weird Country

I.

Once upon a time there was a heartless dictator who suddenly quit his job to become a spiritual leader. But he later found himself too busy calculating his vast assets scattered around the world.

II.

The state was on the brink of bankruptcy because its ministers could not work properly, without presidential guidance every day.

III.

However, once you are appointed to a top job, you'll automatically become wealthier because your children will get everything since nepotism is part of the policies.

IV.

So, every bureaucrat was a businessman, whose activities ranged from korupsi to kolusi. But now all of them join the choir singing "Long Live Reformasi."

V.

There is a family whose plot of land is as vast as the capital city. But the boss told the public: "We're as penniless as anyone could be."

VI.

Elsewhere while timber tycoons set fire to the forests, poor urban people burned down plazas and shopping centers.

VII.

There was a despotic governor who was so crazy of the yellow color, that he banned his people from brushing their teeth.

VIII.

Another governor had a bizarre background. He was a singer of dangdut pop songs that were only popular among rural people.

IX.

There was another one, who is head over heels keen for reelection. To make things easy, he paved the way for his ambition by donating a Timor car to each of the legislators who would support his position.

X.

But a regent is not that lucky. After bribing local councilors to get reelected, he was thrown behind bars for corruption.

XI.

There was a mayor, known for his patience. He only hit soccer players, slapped a bus driver across the face and boxed a supermarket guard so hard, that his teeth were broken to pieces.

XII.

Bureaucrats used to practice polygamy but now they are faithful monogamists. They have only one wife, and one mistress.

XIII.

And a big mouth people's representative had his house burned down by the people during the crisis.

XIV.

But the luckiest Indonesians are the capitalists. The authorities had the people pay their huge debts.

XV.

Now the people are complaining that prices of basic commodities are beyond their reach. But they have nothing to complain about, they live in a mystical land. Whether there is enough food or not, they still have to be proud to have a ruler who is the fourth richest man on the entire planet.

XVI.

Now they have a posh play house too, worth million of dollars, although it is now only used for wedding parties.

XVII.

But Indonesian-made airplanes sell so badly abroad at any price that they are bartered for sticky rice.

XVIII.

Indonesia is so proud of its "national car" although every part of it is imported from South Korea.

XIX.

At last there were protest rallies by young men, who drank cheap, local-made wine, before joining demonstrating students to topple the autocratic government.

XX.

But students of a certain university refused to take part in rallies until somebody sent them brassieres and women's sanitary napkins.

-- By Acep Zamzam Noor

-- Translated by TIS