A single female's story

I have been coming to Indonesia since I was 15 and staying for significant periods of time, usually as a student. I am now 23 and dearly love Indonesia for all its variety and contrasts. However I am finding it increasingly difficult to live here as a "Single White Female" (SWF). I realize many Indonesian men who understand that not all SWFs are what they seem to be on TV, but there is a significant number who do think characters like 90210's Valerie, Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, or Melrose Place's numerous vixens do accurately and realistically portray SWF's as they are. I assure all those who have this misconception that this is not the case. Such programs are designed to entertain, which the norm certainly does not! It is because of these characters' abnormal behavior that these programs are so entertaining.

While I dress conservatively, covering my arms and legs, am not loud or aggressive and never "lead anyone on", I have had to endure a number of situations I would have rather not have experienced. It would seem that nonton dan makan malam (go to the movies and dine) with a SWF is mistaken as a tradeoff for sex. I assure all those who think this is the case that they are entirely wrong.

I have also to endure Peeping Toms, a landlord who thought I was his own private bank, a taxi driver who hit me in the arm until I paid him compensation for something I had nothing to do with, and now I have a number of men who have discovered I live by myself and have somehow obtained my number and name and insist on calling me at strange hours of the night.

I love Indonesia and will continue to do so but I can no longer bear such misunderstandings and the behavior this produces towards SWFs. I have spoken to many other SWFs here and all have expressed similar feelings and have similar stories to tell.

L. WORTH

Jakarta