A bit of a rebel -- are you one of them?

Hera Diani, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

The media loves them, because they make good copy and sell lots of magazines.

Hollywood makes too many movies about them, and their exalted place in the music industry has never been vacant since rebels with and without a cause came to the forefront after World War Two.

From the 1950s, there were James Dean and Elvis Presley; in the 1960s Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Bob Dylan and The Rolling Stones, then the Sex Pistols leading the antiestablishment Punk movement of the late 1970s. In the 1980s, we had the Brat Pack actors (pretty tame though they were) and Madonna, thumbing her nose at religion and sexual convention.

The past decade has been the stomping ground of Drew Barrymore, Johnny Depp and Robert Downey Jr., followed by Marilyn Manson and Eminem.

They have the same thing in common: young (or used to be), restless and out to push the buttons of middle-class conformity. In a world where convenience and convention reign, where we are all told to use the same deodorant, to gobble Big Macs and guzzle the fizzy stuff, they dare to be different.

And some of us end up following their lead.

Young people doing rebellious acts is nothing new. They range from fashion (the Beatles' Mop haircuts in the 1960s to the Mohawks and tri-colored dos of Jakarta in 2002) to disturbing behavior (talking back, lying, cutting class, sneaking a smoke).

Youth psychologist Winarini Wilman D. Mansoer from the University of Indonesia said that rebellious acts were a normal and healthy phase in teenagers' lives. That is, as long as they do not violate the law, take drugs and have premarital sex.

"It's a period where teenagers learn to be on their own and not to be dependent on their parents," she said.

It's in this stage that we develop our critical ability. "But, on the other hand, they are not fully mature," Winarini said.

In finding their identity, teens all over the world start to express themselves, showing their rebel side in dealing with authority.

Often, it's expressed in the home.

Take Ari, 19, who admitted to not getting along with his father.

"You know how teenagers love to hang out with their peers. So, I'm rarely at home, which makes my father upset," he said.

The conflict peaked when Ari's father did not allow him to go to art school like he wanted to. He took refuge at his grandmother's house in another town, where he spent a year after graduating from high school.

"My father finally granted my wish after my older brother persuaded him," Ari said.

In such cases like Ari's, culture also plays a role, as, according to Winarini, parents here tend to be authoritative.

Ola, 25, remembered how she turned into a rebel after spending a year in Canada as an exchange student.

"When I got back home, I became very critical of everything. I talked back to my parents and always questioned everything. While my family is like this conservative family where children should always say yes to everything parents tell us to," she said.

While any teenager can become a rebel, certain events, like a disruption in family life caused by a divorce, can easily spark a rebellious streak, like what Aji, 31, experienced when he was a teenager.

His parents divorced when he was still in elementary school, and by the time he had graduated, he had started to rebel.

"I cut class -- once it even lasted for a month. And then I hung out with the bad boys, got drunk, took drugs ... I tried everything," he said.

"Until one point, I realized that it was useless. Thank God. So, I went back to school, went to college and graduated."

Peer pressure also plays an important role in why teenagers become rebels, in school brawls, for example. But the role of the media is also huge.

Television is packed with images of Eminem, who raps about murder and destruction and suicidal acts. Violent, gory movies play without censorship.

Those things, Winarini said, should make teens understand that the burden of parents today is heavier.

"Teenagers have different perceptions toward heroes. They think what the media offers is a good thing," she said.

"The culture from all over the world collides in the media."

With all the problems in dealing with rebellious children, Winarini said that the key to handling them was effective communication so that parents and children could understand each other.

"Being authoritative is useless. Parents must be more liberal. They should give their children more of a chance instead of restricting them," she said.

"On the other hand, parents should also be able to limit their children. It's important to give children religious and moral teaching from an early age so that they can have their own curb."

They are words that both parents and teens should think about the next time they lock horns.