Working women torn between maternal instinct and career<\/p>\n
Leo Wahyudi S, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta<\/p>\n
Though working mothers are commonplace, many of these women
\ncontinue to harbor a sense of guilt as their heart is torn
\nbetween their career and their maternal instincts.<\/p>\n
Many women in urban families are often faced with the
\npredicament of providing a second income to bolster the family
\ncoffers while child rearing which, in Indonesian society,
\ncontinues to be perceived as the primary responsibility of women.<\/p>\n
Child psychologist Najelaa Shihab pointed out that it was only
\nnatural for mothers to have such feelings, as opposed to the
\nfather, as they were often emotionally closest to the younger
\nchildren.<\/p>\n
Such an emotional dilemma, Najelaa remarked, often led mothers
\nto feel guilty and fraught with a sense of irresponsibility while
\nit could burden their minds and eventually affect their careers.<\/p>\n
Najelaa adds that mothers miss and long for the mother-child
\nbond.<\/p>\n
Speaking during a recent seminar on raising children for
\nworking mothers, Najelaa said these mothers did not need to
\nharbor a sense of guilt if the child is left in good care at
\nhome.<\/p>\n
She stressed that every working mother must accept that they
\nhad to leave their child "as a logical consequence of her
\ndecision to work".<\/p>\n
Another psychologist, Seto Mulyadi, who has worked primarily
\nwith children, stressed the importance of psychological intimacy
\nthrough quality and communication rather than the physical
\nproximity of a mother-child relationship.<\/p>\n
For example the mother before leaving for work could give her
\nchild an assignment which she would check upon her return, he
\nsaid.<\/p>\n
He added that in the long term, positive values could also be
\ningrained in the child who sees the mother having to work. These
\ninclude perceptions of gender equality.<\/p>\n
Seto further suggested that even textbooks at the elementary
\nschool level should be changed to suit this changing environment,
\nwhere currently the general impression given to children was
\n"father goes to work while the mother cooks in the kitchen".<\/p>\n
"It should be changed into 'Mother goes to work and father
\nhelps sister take a bath'," said Seto who is chairman of the
\nNational Commission for Child Protection.<\/p>\n
This will teach children that a father should also help with
\nhousehold chores and that both women and men could go to work at
\nthe office, Seto remarked adding that child rearing was the
\nresponsibility of the father too.<\/p>\n
However one common mistake committed by working mothers was
\nthat they often spoiled their children to compensate for their
\nown sense of guilt.<\/p>\n
Former 1970's child singer Ira Maya Sopha recounted that as a
\nmother and career woman she relied heavily on family support and
\nbaby-sitters.<\/p>\n
She says that it was extremely important to find trustworthy
\nand capable baby-sitters who could help care for and educate the
\nchild. She added that both parents must continuously oversee the
\nbaby-sitter and their child's development.<\/p>",
"url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/working-women-torn-between-maternal-instinct-and-career-1447893297",
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