Working mother' motive affects children's growth<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): The motive of mothers who work outside the home
\nplays an important role in the success or failure of children's
\npersonality development, noted psychologist Utami Munandar said.<\/p>\n
Utami, a lecturer from University of Indonesia's School of
\nPsychology, said that children will be proud of their mothers if
\nthe mothers choose to be independent or to help their families
\nearn a living.<\/p>\n
Through such a motive, children even want to imitate what
\ntheir mothers are doing when they grow up, she said.<\/p>\n
However, if mothers work in order to stay away from home or
\nbecause they have domestic problems, "children will be affected
\nnegatively because children are the ones who are fully aware of
\nall situations in the home," she said.<\/p>\n
The most important thing here, Utami said, is that working
\nmothers should not forget to utilize any available opportunity to
\ngive their children attention when they are at home.<\/p>\n
"Doing ordinary things, ranging from feeding them to telling
\nthem bedtime stories, will enable children to feel their mothers'
\naffection," Utami said.<\/p>\n
She reminded working mothers not to mix up their problems at
\nwork with what they have to do at home.<\/p>\n
"Working mothers should realize they only have a short period
\nof time to help build the basic personality of children, when
\nthey are under five years old. Once the time goes by, it cannot
\nbe changed," Utami said.<\/p>\n
Neglecting this time period will only make a child's
\npersonality grow not as well as could be. The children, for
\nexample, will easily get upset or be unable to show affection to
\nothers, she said.<\/p>\n
Utami said that children who have attended elementary school
\nhave a better understanding about their working mothers than
\ntheir younger brothers or sisters.<\/p>\n
That is exactly what happened to Kartini, an elementary
\nstudent in fourth grade. She initially protested that her mother,
\na newspaper journalist, came home late at night, every day.<\/p>\n
"I hated my mother for coming home late at night. She can't be
\ntogether with other members of the family, including my daddy and
\nmy younger sister," she said.<\/p>\n
"I can accept my mother's condition, after she gave me an
\nexplanation about her profession. I understand that a journalist
\nhas to work a difficult schedule," she said.<\/p>\n
Kartini said that now she even supports her mother to continue
\nworking. "The most important thing is that my mother can help my
\ndaddy get additional income because more money means new clothes
\nand new toys for me," she said.<\/p>\n
"Weekends are my favorite days because all members of my
\nfamily get together and chat with each other," she said.<\/p>\n
She said that she never encounters major problems in her
\nstudies because she feels more mature and can arrange her
\nitinerary accordingly.<\/p>\n
"If I can't solve a question, I just write a note. My mother
\nwill later write down how to solve the problem and my father will
\ntell me how to do it the next morning before going to school,"
\nshe said.<\/p>\n
But for her sister in the second grade, Kartini said, her
\nmother employs a teacher to teach her through a private training
\ncourse.<\/p>\n
Negative<\/p>\n
A child might suffer if parents fail to give a reason why the
\nmother has to work outside the home or if there is a lack of
\nattention from the parents, especially from the mother. This
\nnegative impact is undeniable. However, Utami expressed concern
\nover people's tendency to only look for negative impacts.<\/p>\n
"Actually, according to a number of foreign researchers,
\nworking women are more democratic in educating their children.
\nThey teach their children to be independent," said Utami, who got
\nher doctorate degree from the University of Indonesia with a
\nthesis on creativity and education.<\/p>\n
She pointed out that not all housewives, who prefer to stay at
\nhome, are better than career women in educating and giving
\nattention to their children.<\/p>\n
"There are mothers who spend much of their time on unnecessary
\nactivities and leave their children in the care of baby-sitters
\nor nurses," she said.<\/p>\n
Utami reminded mothers to be careful in entrusting baby-
\nsitters or nurses with their children. Baby-sitters and nurses
\nare only trained to deal with children's basic physical needs,
\nsuch as preparing meals, but not with other needs, such as
\npersonal communication.<\/p>\n
"Communication between mothers and their children is very
\nimportant in stimulating intelligence, especially for children
\nunder five years old. Unfortunately, many baby-sitters or nurses
\nare not trained to do so," she said.<\/p>\n
Utami also underlined the importance of introducing children
\nto equal rights between men and women, at an early age.<\/p>\n
"Such education will ensure that there will be no problems
\nwhenever children observe their parents with differentiated
\npositions," she said, urging parents to select reading material
\nwhich does not sharply separate roles of men and women.<\/p>\n
Parents have to reject books which depict women who are only
\nbusy in the kitchen, while their husbands read newspapers and
\nrelax comfortably, she said.<\/p>\n
S. Hartanti, an 18-year-old student, whose mother works in a
\nforeign bank in the city, said that she has no problem with her
\nmother working.<\/p>\n
"I can always call her office when I want to ask her something
\nor to ask permission to go out with my friends after school,"
\nHartanti, a senior high school student from Blok M, South
\nJakarta, said.<\/p>\n
The girl, whose father works in a private bank, said her
\nmother usually brings home some work to prevent her from working
\nlate at the office.<\/p>\n
"It's fine because it means that she is closer to me. Besides,
\nshe is not angry if I disturb her during her work just to tell
\nher about my day," she said, adding that she is much closer to
\nher mother than her father.<\/p>\n
"I could tell my mother if I am attracted to someone... I
\nwouldn't tell my father," she said. (ste\/hhr)<\/p>",
"url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/working-mother-motive-affects-childrens-growth-1447893297",
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