Without my 'pembantu', I become Mr. Bean<\/p>\n
By Michael Upton<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): Well, it's dinnertime and the pembantu (maid) is
\nin East Java for Lebaran. Let's see what's in the fridge.<\/p>\n
Hmm, lots of tupperware containers but no labels. This one
\nlooks like chicken curry. Good. And here's a tub of steamed rice.
\nAll I have to do is microwave them. Need some vegetables, though,
\nfor Vitamins... er, D and er... Ah, what's in this one?<\/p>\n
Boiled Chinese leaves, looking very limp and unnutritious.
\nHmm, this one's better -- new potatoes with sprigs of dill and
\nsome wedges of orange stuff that looks like... mango? Strange.
\nBut it's colorful, so must be bursting with vitamins, so let's
\ngive it a go. I'm hungry. Wonder if this will be enough chicken.<\/p>\n
Now, I know about microwaving. I often make myself a cup of
\ncocoa to detox after a night of too much beer down on Blok M.
\nI'm also brilliant at heating up slices of leftover pizza. Hot
\ndrinks, Italian cuisine -- there's practically no limit to what I
\ncan do with a microwave, though I have to admit I might be a bit
\nrusty -- after all I haven't prepared my own dinner since last
\nIdul Fitri.<\/p>\n
For instance, can you microwave tupperware? I used to know but
\nhave forgotten. Better play it safe. Don't want any toxic
\ncompounds migrating from the plastic into the food and thence
\ninto me. Also I seem to remember once having a tupperware
\ncontainer that looked like a twisted car wreck, probably after
\nmicrowaving. Better decant the curry into a pudding basin. Then
\nif I put the rice and the vegetables into cereal bowls there'll
\nbe just room for the three containers to turn on the turntable.
\nNeat!<\/p>\n
There. Better cover them to avoid splashing the inside of the
\nmicrowave. Don't want to have to clean it. Voice of experience,
\nthat's me. These saucers will do. Right, we'll try 2 minutes...
\nStart.<\/p>\n
Aargh, fireworks! Everything's sparking and crackling!
\nSwitch off. Drat it, there's a stupid gold ring around the bowls,
\nmaking them spark. Have to change them for those bigger bowls
\nwithout the ring. Tum te tum. Dammit, the saucers have the gold
\nring too.<\/p>\n
How unlike me to have matching crockery. I'll have to swap
\nthese. It should be illegal to put metallic rings on tableware.
\nHmm, this is not as easy as I thought. I want to heat everything
\nin one go, but the bigger bowls won't fit on the turntable
\ntogether.<\/p>\n
Let's pour a glass of that leftover white wine while I regroup
\nafter this minor setback. Mmm, not bad. Ah, brainwave! If I put
\nthe new potatoes and the orange pieces (what is that stuff?) in
\nwith the curry, the basin can sit on top of the bigger bowl
\ncontaining the rice, covered by a dinner plate. Hope this is
\nenough -- I'm starving. There. Two minutes. Start.<\/p>\n
Have another slurp of wine. Hmm, there's a sinkful of washing
\nup and I've not yet eaten a bite. Right... table laid, soundtrack
\nfrom Notting Hill on the CD player, we're all systems go. Beep
\nbeep beep.<\/p>\n
Youch! Plate's very hot. Better get another one to eat off.<\/p>\n
Mmm, tasty. The new potatoes with their sprigs of dill add a
\nsophisticated touch to this basic padang dish. And the orange
\nwedges create a sort of... well, a contrast, really. Frankly, I
\nhave no idea what I'm eating, but it's good.<\/p>\n
Gosh, there's a lot of chicken. It didn't look much in the
\nbasin, but that's just as well, I'm still hungry. Need some more
\nrice to soak up the gravy. And I'll put that track on again while
\nI'm up.<\/p>\n
Tum te tum. \"She may be the song that summer sings...\" Where
\nare those serving spoons? Oh never mind, get some more out.
\nJust a bit more rice. Hmm, the cooking dishes are all in the
\nsink, have to use another bowl. Think I'll reheat the curry while
\nI'm here to make sure it's piping hot. Two minutes. Start.<\/p>\n
Beep beep beep. Yeeoouch! That's really hot. Used to have an
\noven glove but haven't seen it for ages... better serve on a
\nfresh plate or I'll never get it to the table.<\/p>\n
Mmm, really good. Phew, I'm full. Still two pieces of chicken
\nleft. It must have multiplied in the microwave. Wish the pembantu
\nwere here -- she could finish it off. And do the washing up.
\nPity the cat died.<\/p>\n
Just one more piece... Dammit, just remembered I have some
\nPatak's Extra Hot Lime Pickle in the fridge and I've almost
\nfinished the chicken. Well, maybe I can force that last chunk
\ndown. After all, I did work off a lot of weight with that
\nfootball game last week. Or was it the week before? Never mind,
\nI'm not having dessert. Well not yet, anyway.<\/p>\n
Fridge seems to be full of tupperware. Hope there's some
\nrendang. Ah, here's the pickle and some chutney too. Splendid.<\/p>\n
Mmm. Phheew, now I'm really full. Bursting actually. I'll
\njust have a quiet sit down on the sofa to digest this...<\/p>\n
Ergh, 11 p.m. Must have nodded off. Ah well, better get up and
\ngo to bed. Dammit, the sink's full of dirty dishes. So's the
\ntable. How many people ate here, anyway, ten? Suppose I'd better
\nclear it. Or some of it.<\/p>\n
Smash. Oops, dropped a saucer. Well, it was a gold-rimmed one
\nanyway. At least that one won't be around to confuse me next Idul
\nFitri.<\/p>\n
Must ask the pembantu where that oven glove went. And what
\nthose orange slices were. When's she coming back?<\/p>\n
One thing's for sure. I'm not paying her enough.<\/p>", "url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/without-my-pembantu-i-become-mr-bean-1447893297", "image": "" }, "sponsor": "Okusi Associates", "sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com" }