Umairah<\/p>\n
By Yanusa Nugroho<\/p>\n
Oh my gracious lady, your cheeks are so peachy, but I had
\nnever thought that you would wake up at this time of night just
\nto open the door for me. But forgive your husband, lady, because
\nhe had fallen asleep on the verandah. That is a quotation from a
\nstory that tells us how deep Prophet Muhammad's love was for his
\nwife.<\/p>\n
Umairah heard the story from her grandmother. For her, the
\nwords used in the story were so tender and sweet, fresh and cool
\nlike morning dew. They came from the prophet's lips with the sole
\npurpose to delight his wife. When Umairah was a young and
\nlonesome girl, she was very impressed by the story. It was so
\ntouching, that every time it came across her mind she shed tears.<\/p>\n
But, had there been any moment when Umairah was not lonely?
\nNo, she had been so lonesome that what impressed her most was
\nthat it was a tale of tenderness. She had never experienced this
\nvirtue but had only heard about it. That was before her beloved
\ngrandmother died.<\/p>\n
Umairah had also forgotten so many other ordeals in her life
\nthat she could not bring herself to tell us how she felt when she
\nreached nine, ten or eleven years of age. She had also forgotten
\nwhen she first had her period. Or had she ever had it? Because,
\nthe only reality she remembers is that months have come and gone
\njust like the men who have welcomed her in bed.<\/p>\n
\"Ma!\"<\/p>\n
The voice of Umi, her child, who was barely four years old,
\nstartled her from her daydream. After she had wiped her wet
\ncheeks to wash away her dream, Umairah smiled and hoped to send
\nback the child to her beautiful dream.<\/p>\n
\"Go back to your sleep sweetheart, the night is still dark. If
\nyou remain awake, the world will break you, tear you and crush
\nyou with its pitiless teeth. Although I will remain awake, I want
\nyou to sleep soundly, lulled by your sweet dreams. I'll sweep
\naway all the weeds in your life that might hinder your steps and
\nI'll also cut and throw away all the thorns that could hurt the
\nsoles of your feet. Oh, my sweet little girl, your rosy cheeks
\nare beautifully radiant. Oh, how much I love and adore you. Your
\nloveliness will be the beacon of my life. I don't know what would
\nhave happened had you not been a part of my existence. If that
\nhappened I would be at a loss as to where I would go, what I
\nwould do, because to end my own life would solve nothing\".<\/p>\n
As Umairah had hoped, the child fell back asleep and now it
\nwas soundless all around. The woman looked back at the paper on
\nwhich she had written something earlier with black ink. But all
\nshe understood was that what was written there would not express
\nanything. She spoiled the paper and started to write on the next
\nsheet.<\/p>\n
Lately Umairah had caught a serious fever, which had sent her
\nto bed for most of the time. She had no idea what had happened to
\nher because all the doctors she had consulted had only smiled
\nafter they heard her grievances. On the other hand, lately she
\nhad become more sure that the time would come to take her away.
\nIf not tonight it would be some other night.<\/p>\n
At three o'clock in the morning, Umairah heard someone
\nknocking rudely at her door. So loud were the knocks that they
\nfrightened her. Umairah grabbed her child and went to the door.<\/p>\n
No sooner had she opened the door than she was confronted by
\nten hostile people standing with fiery eyes. They shouted at the
\npeak of their voices and threatened to punish her if she would
\nnot let them in.<\/p>\n
Trembling, Umairah prayed that the uproar would not awaken
\nUmi.<\/p>\n
\"Hey woman, where are you hiding him?\" Shouted one of the men
\nwho was wielding a club. The man's eyes turned red and he looked
\nright at Umairah's breasts.<\/p>\n
The woman felt her stomach filling with nausea and was about
\nto vomit at seeing the men, whose behavior was not much different
\nfrom those of dogs. They were people who, like countless others,
\nhad tried to force their way into her life.<\/p>\n
\"There is no other person here other than Umi and myself,\" she
\nsaid, while showing the child fast asleep in her arms.<\/p>\n
\"Your lips are always wet with lipstick, Mai, but don't think
\nthat your beauty can hide the truth,\" said that most outrageous
\nman among them. His friends then searched the house in order to
\nfind if any one was hiding.<\/p>\n
\"Perhaps it is true on other nights but not tonight ...,\" said
\nUmairah firmly.<\/p>\n
The rudest man among the gang members was standing so close to
\nUmairah that she could feel his boar's breath. He moved closer to
\nher.<\/p>\n
\"Tell us where he is, so we can finish everything ...
\ntogether, okay?\" The man shouted.<\/p>\n
Umairah could not help vomiting but she managed to say
\nsomething. It was not very clear what she had said, though, and
\nthis made the ferocious man and his gang leave. Before they left,
\nthe man threw a glance at Umairah.<\/p>\n
\"Ma,\" her child suddenly called her.<\/p>\n
Umairah hugged Umi and sang a lullaby softly. When she saw the
\nchild staring at her with her innocent look, Umairah's tears
\nstreamed down her cheeks.<\/p>\n
\"Ma, will I go away on a train?\"<\/p>\n
Umairah looked at Umi smilingly. How wonderful are children's
\ndreams.<\/p>\n
On another night, Umairah heard another furious knock at her
\ndoor. This time it was at exactly the same hour she had been
\nvisited by the unwanted visitors days ago. The woman knew very
\nwell every knock at her door because she had been familiar with
\nits beats. And this night, the wild boars barged in with the
\nsmell of odor from the devil's body.<\/p>\n
After opening the door, Umairah stood still and said nothing.
\nWhen the man she considered the rudest was about to touch her,
\nshe said, \"Perhaps not tonight but another night.\" The quick-
\ntempered man grumbled. He tried to force his will but Umairah
\nrepeated the same explanation, which made him more resentful.<\/p>\n
\"You whore, I remind you that you must start to be thankful to
\nme. I have helped saved you from being paraded around the village
\nand stoned to death by all the villagers. Don't forget, slut,
\nwhen you had just moved to this village everyone hated you
\nbecause they knew you were the scum of the earth. And now you try
\nto turn me down ...!\"<\/p>\n
\"I am not rejecting you. I said not tonight, perhaps another
\nnight. It's up to you to understand what I mean.\"<\/p>\n
\"Shit!\"<\/p>\n
\"Say what is in your mind, don't beat around the bush. You
\nkeep saying the same old words, over and over again.\"<\/p>\n
Umairah's last words made the man even angrier that he slapped
\nher across face. The man also felt Umairah had belittled his
\nmanliness. He roared, shouted and turned mad. The uproar made Umi
\nwake up and cry, awakening the neighbors.<\/p>\n
After several minutes, many people arrived to see what had
\nhappened.<\/p>\n
\"That man must be hiding here,\" shouted the same violent man
\npointing around while other members of his gang again started to
\nsearch the house. But after a while, after throwing everything
\naway, they returned to the door without finding anybody.<\/p>\n
Umairah thought the humiliation was enough for her. Taking her
\nchild, she ran away. For some seconds she stared back looking at
\nthe men ransacking her house.<\/p>\n
She kept running. Along the way, while crying hard Umairah
\nshouted a woman's name, the woman seemed to be someone she needed
\nin this desperate condition.<\/p>\n
After some moments, bare-footed Umairah stopped running. Under
\na crescent moon, which looked like a section of yellow water
\nmelon. Bitten by the cold wind she walked and walked although she
\nhad nowhere to go. From time-to-time she kissed her child and
\nwent on wherever her feet took her.<\/p>\n
Several passing cars stopped and offered her a lift but
\nUmairah turned them down. They reminded her of the offers by men
\nwho pretended to be good Samaritans but later abused her.<\/p>\n
Umairah went on to continue her pursuit for safety despite the
\nfact that her legs could hardly support her. At an empty security
\npost she stopped. It was dark here but at least she could smile
\nand lay her child on a stool until the sun rose. The place was
\nnot comfortable because the walls of the post were cracked.
\nUmairah also smelled the odor of urine, which stank. In the dim
\nlight, she saw a bunch of clothes inside the post but she had no
\ninterest in them.<\/p>\n
Suddenly, the woman felt it was difficult to breathe but she
\ndid not know why. She laid her child on her lap and leaned
\nherself against the wall. She felt dizzy.<\/p>\n
A moment later, while she was half asleep, she overheard a
\nvoice. She was curious to know what it was. Later, she found out
\nthat it was just the sound of tall grass swaying in the wind.
\nWhen she was about to doze off she heard some prayers being
\nspoken.<\/p>\n
She needed the prayers both for herself and her child. While
\nadmiring the holy whispers, Umairah suddenly felt that she knew
\nthe wordings of the prayers by heart.<\/p>\n
She gained some energy and slowly joined in the prayers. If
\never I'm not fit enough to say my prayer before you, oh my God,
\nthe most wise, please look at this blessed sleepy face. I wish
\nwhen I open my eyes that the whole world would smile and greet me
\nand accompany me to dance in your fantastic beautiful earth. \"Oh
\nGod, the most listening, listen to my lamentation, because only
\nto you do I address my invocation.\"<\/p>\n
When dawn emerged along the eastern horizon Umairah saw a
\nyoung man with dark hair caressing her face. The man spoke with
\nsoft and soothing words, which she was very thirsty for.<\/p>\n
People walking from dawn prayers at the nearby mosque were
\nsurprised to find a child crying in the lap of a mother who was
\nlying all alone on the ground. They reported the finding to the
\nnearby police station. None of the villagers recognized the dead
\nwoman. The only thing they knew was that she had died smiling.<\/p>\n
(From Mata Yang Indah, Kompas<\/p>\n
Best Short Stories 2001)<\/p>\n
Translated by TIS<\/p>", "url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/umairah-1447899208", "image": "" }, "sponsor": "Okusi Associates", "sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com" }