Time to learn to be good loser<\/p>\n
By Mochtar Buchori<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): I think hooligans in soccer games and rebel
\nmembers in political parties share common characteristics.<\/p>\n
Both are groups of people who cannot accept defeat. They
\nbecome furious and capable of destroying everything in their path
\nwhenever their side is defeated.<\/p>\n
According to newspaper reports, the one significant difference
\nbetween these two groups is age. Whereas the hooligans among
\nsoccer fans are in general young people -- a great deal of them
\nare even adolescents -- the politicians and para-politicians, who
\nwould rather wreck their organizations than accept defeat, are
\ngenerally adults.<\/p>\n
These two groups of people take defeat in a very personal
\nmanner. Defeat is considered by these two groups as an affront to
\ntheir collective honor and dignity.<\/p>\n
Why is it so difficult for many Indonesians to accept defeat?
\nWhy is it so difficult for many of us to be "good losers"?<\/p>\n
I think that in soccer games or sports events generally it is
\nhypocrisy. Many of us talk about good sportsmanship and preach to
\nothers to live by this spirit. Many of us pretend to believe in
\nthe dictum that in sport victory and defeat are just ordinary
\nthings; that they do not constitute the most important matter.<\/p>\n
Rather, so we are told, it is the way we play the game that
\nshould be considered most important. Playing a game fairly and
\ngentlemanly but perhaps losing is better than winning a game in
\nan unfairly and ungentlemanly manner.<\/p>\n
In practice, however, we have all learned how to cheat without
\nbeing detected. Athletes have learned how to use drugs to gain
\nunfair advantage over their rivals.<\/p>\n
We are also told that victory can be bought, that opponents
\ncan be persuaded to loose a game at a certain price. The ultimate
\nresult of this hypocrisy is that good sportsmanship has become a
\nvery rare commodity in real sports life.<\/p>\n
In real life most of us value victory so highly that the
\nconcept of defeat simply has no room in our consciousness. There
\nare many among us who are even willing to rig a game to avoid
\ndefeat and "to achieve victory".<\/p>\n
And when in spite of all we have done defeat is still
\nunavoidable, we become furious and lose control of ourselves.
\nSportsmanship them becomes a meaningless word.<\/p>\n
In politics the story is a bit different. Here the main reason
\nof our inability to accept defeat is, I think, our entrenched
\nbelief that anyone who disagrees with us is an outsider.<\/p>\n
We still firmly embrace the myth that our society is a
\nharmonious society and therefore no real discord exists in our
\nsociety. Thus anyone who keeps disagreeing must be an outsider
\nwho does not share our basic values.<\/p>\n
We have not learned yet how to deal with an opponent which
\ncomes from our own ranks. When facing opponents from outside our
\nslogan has always been Pantang Mundur! (Never Retreat!).<\/p>\n
What happens if two opposing sides within one organization
\ncannot settle a disagreement and neither one is willing to
\nretreat? Separatism!<\/p>\n
It was for this reason that during the time of "liberal
\ndemocracy" in the 1950s the Nahdlatul Ulama split from Masyumi as
\na political party, and the Partai Nasional Indonesia was
\nfragmented into several political parties, including Partai
\nIndonesia Raya and another party of nationalist orientation
\ncalled Partai Rakyat Nasional if I remember correctly.<\/p>\n
I think the time has come for us as a nation to learn to
\naccept defeat gracefully. Both in sports and in politics we have
\nto learn to abandon our old habit of rejecting defeat at all
\ncosts. We have to learn to accept defeat and failure as facts of
\nlife, and to learn from them.<\/p>\n
Unless we do this we will never grow into a real mature
\nnation. We will forever remain an adolescent nation.<\/p>\n
In these modern times it is just impossible for a really
\ndemocratic society to create and maintain all-around winning
\nsituations all the time. Certain conflicts within our society are
\nreal enough and so deep-rooted that we just have to make a choice
\nbetween two incompatible alternatives that are available to
\nreally solve the problem.<\/p>\n
Here we are facing a real win-loose situation that cannot be
\nconverted into an all-around winning situation at will. To
\npretend that within our society all conflicts can be and must be
\nharmoniously reconciled in a brotherly manner is, in my opinion,
\nan illusion.<\/p>\n
To force political and social organizations to adopt this
\nattitude in handling their internal matters is I think one
\neffective way to ensure that those organizations will never grow
\ninto really mature and autonomous social bodies.<\/p>\n
I do not think this is really what this nation wants.<\/p>\n
The writer is rector of IKIP-Muhammadiyah Teachers' Training
\nInstitute.<\/p>",
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