This society's etiquette criminals are legion<\/p>\n
After spending two years in the United States, I have come to
\nrealize that Jakarta suffers from an intriguing societal
\ndepravity, one that pertains to basic etiquette.<\/p>\n
About two days after I arrived back in Jakarta for a summer
\nbreak, I went to Plaza Senayan to hang out with my long-time-no-
\nsee friends. As I knew it would be crowded in the front of the
\nmall, I parked my car near the elevator at the rear side of the
\nmall.<\/p>\n
So I took the elevator to the fourth floor. When the elevator
\nopened, before I even had a chance to move my feet, this group of
\nfive people stampeded into me, acting as if they were Darth Vader
\nwith his shock troops. They completely ignored the existence of a
\nperson who was actually trying to get out.<\/p>\n
Being a mellow guy, I decided to stay calm and pushed my way
\nout of the elevator with a smile. That was the first incident
\nthat made me start thinking about this whole issue of manners.<\/p>\n
I had promised to meet my friends at the food court, and there
\nis no other way to get there but through the cinema lobby. As I
\nwalked out of the cinema lobby, I had to pass through the
\nentrance door of the mall.<\/p>\n
Accustomed to what I thought was internationally understood
\netiquette when opening doors, I was expecting the person walking
\nin front of me to hold the door so it does not swing back and hit
\nthe person behind. Suddenly, this person dressed in \"hip-hop\"
\nclothing passed me in a hurry.<\/p>\n
Not only did he refuse to look back or hold the door, he
\nactually slammed the door while I was walking through. Luckily,
\nthe door did not slam into my face. My hands were fast enough to
\nmitigate the imbecile's act.<\/p>\n
I convinced myself that he was just another restless student
\nin a big rush to get somewhere.<\/p>\n
On my way to the food court, an older Army-type guy, probably
\nin his 50s, was walking as slow as a turtle in front of me. Being
\na bit impatient, I took the polite way and said 'excuse me',
\nhoping that he would move a bit to the left so that I could pass
\nby.<\/p>\n
I reiterated 'excuse me' three times, but he ignored me. I
\ndecided to pass him as best I could, but my shoulder accidentally
\ntouched his shoulder. I said: \"Sorry\", but he reacted in an
\noverly harsh manner and yelled: \"Watch where you're going,
\nstupid!\"<\/p>\n
Not only did he ignore my polite request to pass, he reacted
\nas if I had just started World War III.<\/p>\n
Appalled by such an irrational reaction, I apologized and went
\nstraight to my friends' table. After a bit of chit-chat, I
\ndecided to go to KFC, my favorite place to eat.<\/p>\n
As it was around lunch time, the line was pretty long. But I
\ntook my place in line and waited patiently. When there were only
\nthree customers in front of me, two domestic helpers, or
\npembantu, cut in front of me and said nothing.<\/p>\n
That was it. I wished I could have immediately changed into
\nBatman. After identifying all the enemies, these etiquette
\ncriminals, I would use all my gadgets to arrest them and detain
\nthem in the Bat Cave.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, turning into Batman was not a realistic option.
\nIn fact, I am probably seen as the bad guy here because the
\nmajority of the people in our society are diseased with the same
\nepidemic, 'mannerphobia'.<\/p>\n
These incidents show how our society is having a problem with
\nproper manners. It seems like proper behavior is not even a part
\nof our culture. It seems like having good manners is not
\nnecessary in our society.<\/p>\n
What is interesting is that a lot of Indonesians accuse
\nforeigners of being arrogant and lacking manners. Foreigners
\nusually come from nations that greatly embrace freedom and
\nliberty, Americans in particular.<\/p>\n
Indonesians, who embrace traditional values and religiosity,
\ntend to associate freedom and liberty with etiquette depravity.
\nConversely, Indonesia is known to be a society with proper
\nmanners, a perception that a plethora of foreigners would concur
\nwith.<\/p>\n
Ironically, during my two years in America, I have realized
\nthat it is us Indonesians who need to improve our manners.<\/p>\n
Initially while in the U.S., I was not aware, but gradually I
\nbecame etiquette observant. Much of my observations occurred in
\nclasses, public places, bus rides and other places.<\/p>\n
In America, people say \"excuse me\" and \"thank you\" regularly
\nas words to open or close a conversation. People inside the
\nelevator go out first and those waiting to come in wait before
\nall the people exiting have come out. People respect others when
\nwaiting in lines. They even say \"Bless you!\" if someone sneezes
\naround them, whether they know them or not.<\/p>\n
Eventually, I came to the conclusion that Indonesians are
\nstill behind the people of the U.S. in terms of manners.<\/p>\n
I am not idolizing American society, nor am I underestimating
\nIndonesian society. The point is that if each of us tried to
\nimprove our behavior toward others, our society would be much
\nmore comfortable to live in.<\/p>\n
-- Armando Siahaan<\/p>", "url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/this-societys-etiquette-criminals-are-legion-1447893297", "image": "" }, "sponsor": "Okusi Associates", "sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com" }