Son of mixed marriage speaks up<\/p>\n
Aswin, not his real name, is a 28-year-old writer living in
\nJakarta, his mother is a Muslim, while his father is a Christian.<\/p>\n
The government should not interfere in the citizens' right to
\nchoose who they want to marry. If a man and a woman of different
\nfaiths want to live together, it is their right to do so. The
\ngovernment should not make the decision for them.<\/p>\n
I understand that the intent of the law is good. In theory,
\npeople who share the same religion will have less to quarrel
\nabout. But having the same faith is no guarantee for a solid
\nmarriage. Couples who go to church together one week, could be
\ndivorced the next week. All that is needed for a strong marriage
\nis the love and commitment of two individuals, which cannot be
\nregulated by any government regulation.<\/p>\n
My father and mother have been married for 31 years and still
\ncounting. Throughout my life, I have never seen them quarrel or
\nbicker because of their different beliefs. My father fasts during
\nRamadhan so that my mother feels more comfortable. My mother
\nhappily cooks extravagant meals for us during Christmas. Our
\nfamily is as tight-knit as a family can get. Does the government
\nreally think that my parents should not have gotten married?<\/p>\n
I also know a lot of interfaith married couples. Most of them
\nare happy together. A few have divorced, but not one couple has
\nsaid that they got divorced because of religious issues.<\/p>\n
I will never forget how difficult it was for one of my best
\nfriends, who is a Muslim, to get married to his long-time
\ngirlfriend, who is a Christian.<\/p>\n
The couple had been planning a wedding for months but could
\nnot find an official who was willing to conduct the ceremony
\nbecause of their different faiths.<\/p>\n
They even went to court because they had heard rumors that a
\njudge could make a legal exception to the rule. The judge heard
\ntestimony from the couple and from their friends, including me,
\nwho could attest to their commitment to each other. After
\nspending two months in the legal system and paying Rp 6 million,
\nthey obtained a court document that stated that \"legally, they
\nwere allowed to wed.\" However, when they showed this document to
\nthe civil registrar who would record their marriage, they were
\nturned down. But, because these two were madly in love, they kept
\non pursuing avenues so that they could legally marry.<\/p>\n
About a month later, my friend called me during lunch and
\nasked me to cancel all my plans for the night because they had
\nfinally found an official who was willing to marry them despite
\ntheir different religions.<\/p>\n
When I arrived that evening, there were only five of us
\ngathered in the room for the celebration: the bridge and groom, a
\npriest and two witnesses, including myself.<\/p>\n
There were no flowers. Nobody was dressed for the occasion,
\nespecially the bridge and groom. Nobody brought cameras. The
\ncouple did not even have time to pick up their wedding bands.<\/p>\n
And although the whole ceremony lasted less than 10 minutes,
\nit was the most beautiful wedding I have ever witnessed. The vows
\nthat they exchanged were pure and true. They realized that their
\nlove had overcome several obstacles and that they will always
\nhave each other at the end, no matter what anybody or any
\ngovernment says.<\/p>\n
After that night, I realized how crazy things are here. I
\nmean, here were two people who cared about each other enough to
\nwant to marry. All they wanted was recognition from the state
\nthat their love for each other was binding. All that trouble just
\nfor a piece of paper. How absurd.<\/p>",
"url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/son-of-mixed-marriage-speaks-up-1447893297",
"image": ""
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"sponsor": "Okusi Associates",
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