Sipon: He ain't heavy, he's my husband<\/p>\n
Emmy Fitri, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta<\/p>\n
Sipon, now 35, was only a humble factory laborer when she met
\nWiji Thukul. She led a plain and modest life until she became
\npersonally involved and ended up marrying the rebellious poet.<\/p>\n
Her concept of an ordinary household and married life all but
\nvanished as she got to know more about her husband, whose real
\nname was Wiji Widodo.<\/p>\n
Wiji had to move from one house to another and from one town
\nto another as the military pursued him over a dubious allegation
\nthat he was one of the ringleaders of the attacked faction in the
\nJuly 27, 1996, incident, when a government-backed party faction
\nforcefully took over the Indonesian Democratic Party (PDI)
\nheadquarters on Jl. Diponegoro, Central Jakarta. The headquarters
\nwere still occupied by loyalists of Megawati Soekarnoputri, now
\nthe country's president.<\/p>\n
The incident occurred two days after Wiji had attended the
\ndeclaration of the Democratic People's Party (PRD) in Jakarta.
\nBut when the bloody takeover occurred, Wiji and his PRD friends,
\nincluding party chairman Budiman Sudjatmiko, were already in
\nSurakarta, watching the report on the TV news at Wiji's house.<\/p>\n
From that time onward, Sipon and her two children, Fitri
\nNganti Wani, 13, and Fajar Merah, 8, had to let go of their
\nbeloved husband and father. Their memory of Wiji remains of a
\ncaring and tender father to his children and a very positive man
\nas a husband.<\/p>\n
The last contact made by Wiji with the family was in February
\n1998 when he promised to go home to celebrate Fajar's birthday.<\/p>\n
He has not shown up since. As of today, nobody knows his
\nwhereabouts.<\/p>\n
Born to a poor family in Surakarta, Central Java, with a becak
\n(pedicab) driver father and housewife mother, Sipon, who did not
\neven finish elementary school, never dreamed of having a
\nglamorous wedding or married life. All she wanted was a
\nconventional life.<\/p>\n
\"From the beginning, he didn't ask me to become his pacar
\n(steady girlfriend) as when others usually propose to girls,\"
\nsaid Sipon as she recalled that sweet moment when she met Wiji.<\/p>\n
Both met at a labor theater group. Sipon joined the group with
\nher fellow factory laborers.<\/p>\n
They got married in 1988.<\/p>\n
\"We took a becak to go to the religious affairs office (KUA)
\nto register our marriage. Shortly after our marriage we went to
\nBandung to meet (painter) Semsar Siahaan, who was being chased by
\nthe police and military at that time for participating in a rally
\nagainst the government,\" Sipon told The Jakarta Post a day after
\nreceiving recently the Yap Thiam Hien award for human rights on
\nbehalf of her missing husband.<\/p>\n
With Wiji, Sipon grew accustomed to more problems, from
\nfinancial to security matters. However, her husband, as she
\nrecalled, was a sensitive and generous person. He could not bear
\nto see others suffer, even though he might have been in a worse
\nsituation himself.<\/p>\n
Complex matters, like dealing with the local administration,
\nkelurahan (subdistrict), district officials to local security
\nofficials like the police and military, were all commonplace for
\nSipon.<\/p>\n
\"My husband once protested against the members of the jury and
\nthe committee of Surakarta's district cleaning competition. They
\ndid not exercise impartiality as they always gave the award to
\nour Jagalan district,\" Sipon said enthusiastically.<\/p>\n
The neighborhood where Sipon and her family lived was mostly
\noccupied by meat traders who ran a beef trading business -- home
\nindustries that were run traditionally, without procedures on how
\nto deal with product waste properly.<\/p>\n
Worse still, a textile factory nearby also added to the
\npollution in the district, with smoke, chemical waste and noise.<\/p>\n
The jury of the cleaning competition was reportedly bribed by
\nan offer of kilograms of beef and other meat products like abon
\n(dried meat) and kerecek (crackling made from water buffalo
\nskin).<\/p>\n
\"Wiji was summoned by Pak Lurah (the subdistrict chief) due to
\nhis protest. He had put up posters of Semsar's protest paintings
\nat various locations, which made our neighborhood appear more
\nuntidy and far from clean,\" she said.<\/p>\n
Sipon learned a lot from Wiji though. Her eyes were opened to
\nother social problems around her like the polluted environment,
\nlow wages, insufficient public facilities and other injustices.<\/p>\n
\"I once asked him why he got involved in all these causes
\nwhile he was poor himself. He said only that he was fighting for
\nthem because he knew how it felt to be poor and unable to pay for
\nschool tuition. But he claimed he had the weapon to fight them
\nall: His poems,\" Sipon said proudly.<\/p>\n
She did not cry any more when reminiscing about her missing
\nhusband, probably because Wiji left only \"sweet and funny
\nmemories\" for her.<\/p>\n
\"Whenever I remember him, I can only recall the funny times we
\nused to have and the fact that Wiji was an easygoing and very
\nhumorous person. We were poor but always happy.\"<\/p>\n
She recalled Wiji's strange requests if he was about to go to
\na discussion with people whom he disliked. Mostly they were what
\nhe perceived as lousy local officials or big-mouthed activists.<\/p>\n
\"He always asked me to cook a lot of ketela (sweet potato) and
\ntempeh. He then ate a lot of it. I never knew the reason why
\nuntil one day he told me that whenever the people he disliked
\ntalked during the discussion Wiji would produce loud kentut
\n(farts),\" Sipon recalled.<\/p>\n
Wiji and Sipon used to live modestly. Though he wrote a lot of
\npoems, Wiji never sold them. He often took his family for a
\n\"trip\" on public buses to let his poems be heard by the public.<\/p>\n
\"As far as our financial circumstances are concerned, for us
\nthat's not a problem at all. We're poor; nothing can change that.
\nWe're accustomed to what we face,\" she said.<\/p>\n
Sipon now runs a small-scale garment business. She also
\naccepts tailoring orders to support her two children.<\/p>\n
Two weeks ago, Sipon and her children marked the fifth year of
\nWiji's absence. The poet was declared the 10th recipient of the
\nhuman rights Yap Thiam Hien award.<\/p>\n
The entire extended family attended the award ceremony. Wiji's
\nmother Saiyem broke down and cried in anguish during the
\nreception. She could not control her emotions.<\/p>\n
\"It's the first time she has left the house since Wiji's
\ndisappearance. She's always terrified to go out and meet
\nstrangers. I told her we were going to Jakarta to attend a
\nrelative's wedding,\" Sipon said.<\/p>\n
\"If I hadn't, she wouldn't have come. She always cries
\nwhenever Wiji's name is mentioned.\"<\/p>\n
Sipon has displayed courage because she has faced challenges
\nand supported her family. She had to shoulder the burden of the
\nloss of her beloved husband but from the recent meeting, she
\nlooked as though she was coping admirably.<\/p>\n
As a wife, Sipon has only one wish: \"... if he's dead, let us
\nknow where he's buried so we can at least pay our last respects.\"<\/p>",
"url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/sipon-he-aint-heavy-hes-my-husband-1447893297",
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"sponsor": "Okusi Associates",
"sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com"
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