Rain in the rearview mirror<\/p>\n
By Yundi Aditya<\/p>\n
They met through their families, through family connections,
\nyou might say. But later, she began to realize that it was more
\nlike family conspiracies. Their families had long been known to
\neach other, but when she first met him she had no knowledge of
\nthis.<\/p>\n
It was at a wedding that they met, ironically enough. It was a
\ngrand affair of a wedding. The family, from West Sumatra, laid on
\na very big event for the ceremony and reception for their only
\nchild. The decorations were lavish, and the food was
\noverwhelming.<\/p>\n
She had gone with her two sisters and mother up to the stage
\nto offer her greetings and congratulations to the bride and groom
\nand their parents. Somehow, her father had become separated from
\nthem, and as they stood in line to meet and greet the family,
\nthey heard him father call out to them.<\/p>\n
He was with \"friends of the family\", and that was when she saw
\nhim. Her father stood next to him and all the time he -- little
\ndid she know, her future husband -- stood staring at her. It was
\nembarrassing but, she had to admit to herself, it was also
\nexciting. He was looking at her intensely. Her sisters noticed it
\ninstantly and began to giggle.<\/p>\n
Once they had all descended from the stage, introductions were
\nmade.<\/p>\n
He was polite, but also quite bold. She was demure, but
\nnonetheless interested. He was, after all, really quite handsome
\n-- at least then. She remembered the scent he wore, the fine suit
\nhe had on, even the golden silk tie that seemed to dazzle her
\neach time she looked at him. He looked affluent and calm and very
\nconfident.<\/p>\n
The impression she took away from that first meeting was that
\nhe was someone who had plenty of money and enjoyed spending it --
\nmostly on himself, as she was to find out later.<\/p>\n
In the days and weeks that followed, he paid regular visits to
\nher house. Her father always maintained that these visits were
\nfor business, but her sisters joked that the visits were because
\nhe wanted to meet her.<\/p>\n
She came to realize that both her father and her sisters, in a
\nsad way, were right about those early visits. For her father, it
\nwas good or useful for his business prospects, and her sisters
\nwere right that he was coming to see -- or perhaps view -- her.
\nBecause her father needed an investor, it helped sweeten the deal
\nthat the potential investor had an interest in her.<\/p>\n
Gradually, surprisingly, a courtship began. His wealth
\nguaranteed that she had everything she could possibly want.<\/p>\n
Perhaps she could admit that this attracted her to him. Her
\nmaterialistic side got the better of her and she fully enjoyed
\nthat in him, she had a suitor who was ready, willing and able to
\nbuy her practically anything she desired. In retrospect, she saw
\nthat this blinded her to the person he really was.<\/p>\n
The courtship developed quickly -- too quickly really -- but
\nwhen he approached her father and said he wished to marry her,
\nher father was more than willing to see the nuptials go ahead,
\nperhaps even eager.<\/p>\n
Deep down inside, she always suspected that her husband used
\nhis financial advantage to practically bribe her father into
\nconsent. She even believed a sum of money may have been agreed
\nupon.<\/p>\n
Her wedding, too, was a lavish affair. Her husband's inherited
\nwealth made sure of that. But it was not long after the wedding
\nthat she noticed changes in his character. While dating, he was
\npolite and responsive to her needs and wants, but as her husband,
\nhe became the \"boss\".<\/p>\n
If he wanted to take her along on one of his business meetings
\nto literally show her off, she was obliged to go. No matter how
\nmuch she protested, he forced her to go. She had become a trophy
\nwife that he would display in front of his business partners.<\/p>\n
At first, when she protested, he would just get angry and
\nshout at her, but then he began to grab her and threaten her with
\ndivorce and the collapse of her father's business -- if they
\ndivorced, he would withdraw his investments with her father. He
\ntold her his money was saving her father's business, so she \"had
\nbetter behave\".<\/p>\n
This, she did. She tolerated the total loss of her life and
\nindependence, but then she became pregnant. She held on to the
\nidea that a child would give her life new meaning, that it would
\nhelp to change his character too. How wrong she was.<\/p>\n
The child was born in late May and she was a healthy and
\nbeautiful baby, but that was the problem -- it was a girl. This,
\nhe did not want.<\/p>\n
He wanted a son, a male heir to his business, so their
\nbeautiful baby girl was a disappointment. She saw it in his face
\nthe day their daughter was born, and she saw it every day since.<\/p>\n
But her daughter gave her new hope anyway. The baby gave her a
\nnew direction, and even if her married life was not good, she was
\ndetermined that her daughter's life would be.<\/p>\n
The baby gave her a new sense of independence, and she refused
\nany help in tending to her daughter. She wanted to be the girl's
\nmother, so she didn't allow nannies and babysitters in their life
\ntogether.<\/p>\n
She was determined to be independent again. When her husband
\nwas out, working long as always, she would do everything with and
\nfor her daughter. She learned to drive so that she could take the
\ngirl anywhere she wanted without depending on other people. She
\nbecame inseparable from her daughter.<\/p>\n
One day, her husband came home after another long day at the
\noffice. He was in a bad mood and slammed doors as he came in. The
\nnoise woke the baby, who began to cry. She wanted to go to the
\nbaby, but before she could, he stepped in front of her, pushed
\nher hard and said he would \"deal with that nasty little girl\".
\nShe fell back, hitting her head, and could not get up for a
\nmoment. Dazed, she struggled to regain her composure.<\/p>\n
She heard her baby cry out even louder and then she saw him
\nwalk past their bedroom again. She staggered to her feet. As she
\ndid, she felt the back of her head and felt blood, but she ran to
\nher daughter -- and found her on the floor.<\/p>\n
She didn't know what he had done, but the baby had obviously
\nbeen thrown down. The blankets must have saved her from any
\ninjuries, but she was crying terribly.<\/p>\n
This was the last straw. She had to leave. Her father would
\nhave to deal with the consequences of losing an investor.<\/p>\n
She remained calm and waited until the next morning. She had
\npacked only a few things so as not to raise suspicions -- she was
\nready.<\/p>\n
It was a very grey day, with rain falling hard, but she was
\ndetermined. The grey skies suggested sadness but she had no
\nsadness in her heart; only will.<\/p>\n
She had no idea where she was going; she only knew that she
\nwas -- escaping with her daughter. They would start again
\nsomewhere else.<\/p>\n
She drove toward a new horizon and as she drove, the clouds
\ncleared and the skies ahead were blue. Glancing in the rearview
\nmirror, she saw the rain fall behind as she sped forward.<\/p>\n
-- Jakarta, May 7, 2005<\/p>", "url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/rain-in-the-rearview-mirror-1447893297", "image": "" }, "sponsor": "Okusi Associates", "sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com" }