Polygamy and polyandry<\/p>\n
It is generally known that polygamy does prevail in many parts
\nof the world, including Indonesia. According to the Indonesian
\nmarriage law, a man is allowed to marry a second woman only upon
\nconsent of the first wife. A question arises: Which woman is able
\nand willing to tolerate voluntarily to share her lovely husband
\nwith another woman? Most women, if not all, will undoubtedly not
\napprove her husband's desire to marry other women.<\/p>\n
The article written by T. Sima Gunawan in The Jakarta Post of
\nApril 29, 1995 issue draws my attention to comment of the
\nsubject. I remember a story told by a manager of a well-
\nestablished bank some time ago. He claimed that he managed to
\nmarry four women. His wives live together and get along with each
\nother under one roof. They live in peace and never quarrel.<\/p>\n
I asked him curiously how he managed to share his love among
\nhis four wives. He said that he could manage the situation by
\nsharing his love equally between his four wives. But I doubted
\nand wondered if he was telling me the truth. In my opinion, all
\nrules and regulations stipulated in the law are well-thought and
\ncarefully considered. However, many individuals, for their own
\nsake, give their own interpretations and try to escape through
\ncertain clauses.<\/p>\n
During an Economic Cooperation Conference in Kuala Lumpur
\nsome time ago, a prominent Malaysian businessman related a joke
\non polygamy in his speech. \"Once upon a time, one of the mighty
\nrulers of Malaysia, a rich and influential Sultan, wanted to
\nmarry a fifth wife. He asked the advice of several religious
\nleaders, how he could escape form the regulations to marry the
\nfifth woman. They all said that the Sultan should first divorce
\none of his four wives, which the Sultan rejected. Then an old
\nwise man was consulted. The advice was \"if you go abroad and stay
\nthere for six months or longer, you will be separated from your
\nwives. This will give you the possibility to marry your fifth
\nbride.\" The smart Sultan did not go abroad, but instead he went
\nonly to the island of Pinang (across the mainland of Malaysia).
\nAfter six months, the Sultan married the fifth wife, believing
\nthat he had complied with the existing rules. We need not follow
\nhis example, said the speaker, closing his address.<\/p>\n
Sima Gunawan closes her article with the question: What about
\npolyandry? I remember another story told by a student of
\npsychology. One day her class discussed the issue of polygamy and
\npolyandry. A senior female student asked the lecturer: Why is
\npolygamy in many countries allowed, while polyandry is not? The
\nlecturer, seemingly prepared for such a question, calmly
\nexplained: Well, one of the many psychological reasons is that
\npolygamy is easy to manage and to implement. While polyandry, on
\nthe other hand, will cause problems in the sense that every time
\nthe (only) wife gets pregnant and gives birth to a baby, which of
\nthe four husbands will be considered the father?<\/p>\n
As far as polygamy and polyandry are concerned, one thing is
\nalmost sure. The average man is polygamous, while being
\npolyandrous is not common among women. Ideally, one man has one
\nwife, until death separates them. As Mark said: A man will leave
\nhis father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will
\nbe one. So they are no longer two, but one. Man must not
\nseparate, then, what God has joined together.<\/p>\n
A. HARYONO<\/p>\n
Jakarta<\/p>", "url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/polygamy-and-polyandry-1447893297", "image": "" }, "sponsor": "Okusi Associates", "sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com" }