Of greed and other family values<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): Sita came from a typical upper middle-class
\nfamily. Her brothers and sisters went to university overseas,
\ntheir privileged education paid for by the wealth their parents
\nacquired during Indonesia's development years in the 1970s. When
\nthen underdeveloped but resource-rich Indonesia was ripe for
\nexploitation, Sita's father was center stage.<\/p>\n
Sita's fortune, or at least her family's, has since dwindled.
\nThe \"boom\" years have taken their toll; younger upstarts
\nsuperseded her father, and the modernizing economy now required
\nmore savvy than just being at the right place at the right time.
\nThe family is no longer rich but, considering inflating living
\ncosts among the well-heeled, just getting by. The peeling walls
\nof their once stately house need a new coat of paint. Sita's
\nbrothers and sisters, grown up with families of their own, work
\nhard to keep up with the neighbors, although showing off status
\nis becoming increasingly difficult, especially when living in the
\nsuburbs of Bintaro.<\/p>\n
Now Sita's mother is ill. But her affliction isn't even
\nmedical. Rather, she's depressed. She's so depressed she can
\nbarely walk. Her ailment is caused by worry that the financial
\nhardship upon her family won't pass. Her husband has a serious
\ndisease which requires hospitalization. They can't afford it, not
\nunless they sell some of their properties.<\/p>\n
\"But I have so many heads to consult with, my children won't
\nagree to anything,\" she complains. What's worse, she feels alone,
\nas the people she counts on most -- her family -- are the ones
\nshe's at odds with. As the children fight over their supposed
\nentitlement, the parents descend deeper into illness. The kids
\nare arguing about what should be their inheritance, but the
\nparents aren't even dead yet. But if they fight long enough,
\ntheir precious inheritance may just come a little early.<\/p>\n
Pundits claim the greedy Eighties decade has passed, but I'd
\nargue it is still wiping its gold-plated feet on the welcome mat.<\/p>\n
Nonsense, you say, as greed has always been around. Of course
\nit has, and so has that venerable institution called the family.
\nIt's the family, all-important and ever-watching, that kept
\nselfish sons in check and reined in aspirations that threatened
\nto ruin the family name. Once upon a time in this vast land of
\ntraditions, your family was your life. You married the bride or
\ngroom of your family's choice, you followed a profession based on
\nyour family's approval. You had to, or else face banishment from
\nthe extended family whose support was crucial in those days of
\ntight-knit communities. What you did for your family was a
\nlifetime task and achievement; everything else, like a stable
\nmarriage, successful career or a nice house, was a bonus.<\/p>\n
Now, as the bustle of urbanization and modernization breaks
\ndown the extended family, it's having a family that is a bonus.
\nMetropolitan magnets and satellite cities are homes to millions
\nof nuclear families struggling with urban alienation. But the
\nkids are the last to complain; they're enjoying the gifts and
\nsubsidies lavished upon by moms and dads bereft of this network
\nof supportive kin.<\/p>\n
Money, that's the operative word, and, indeed, this is an
\nupper-middle class predicament. Money lines the Pandora's box of
\nour new family values. The media often shines its harsh spotlight
\non the \"little emperors\" of China -- why look so far away when
\nthere are as many brats running around Pondok Indah Mall? Parents
\nhere have been spoiling their kids rotten ever since Indonesia's
\nchanging economic demographics allowed them to. Once tradition
\nglued a family together, now it's cash.<\/p>\n
Yet here's the twist: it's still tradition that's keeping the
\nfamily together -- at least the tradition to not lose face.
\nStories abound of how parents are stuffing their kids' wallets to
\nmake them appear as \"obedient children\", a requisite of the
\ntraditional Indonesian household. Keeping the kids happy is the
\nsame as keeping the neighbors' attention away, and what every
\nIndonesian family dreads is for \"people to talk\". If what's
\nunderneath the family portrait is not as pretty as the picture-
\nperfect print, nobody should see the difference.<\/p>\n
The mirage sometimes foils even the family. For twenty-
\nsomething Nani, her family is a mess, with her siblings
\nconstantly jealous of each other's presents from their parents,
\nmistaking material largesse for love. Tension within the
\nhousehold grows by the day, voices raised and hostilities
\nexchanged, but the parents pass over the rancor with a wave of
\ntheir credit cards. They're insisting that all is fine, let's
\njust pay this last Visa bill (their kids) and everyone can get
\nalong again.<\/p>\n
Keep it all in the family, greed and all. The parents are
\nscared the kids will argue, disrupting the family harmony which
\nthey think exists. Still adhering to traditional notions of
\nfamily cohesion, they can't accept any threat of family discord.
\nIn their desperate attempts to keep the family together, greed is
\nquickly becoming part of their family values.<\/p>\n
-- Suwara Sari<\/p>", "url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/of-greed-and-other-family-values-1447893297", "image": "" }, "sponsor": "Okusi Associates", "sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com" }