No Other Choic<\/p>\n
By Siti Nurhayati<\/p>\n
I was holding the letter tight, as if in a dream.<\/p>\n
Incredulous, I read it again.<\/p>\n
\"Look, your dad has no other choice,\" it read. \"I have to
\ndivorce your mother. This is the best way, for me, and, perhaps
\nfor your mom, too. All this must be ended before it is too late
\nand gets worse. Unless I divorce your mom, there will be
\ndisaster ... \"<\/p>\n
I couldn't continue reading. Something pierced my heart, a
\nbitter memory of how my boyfriend left me a few years go.<\/p>\n
He got married, secretly, to my close friend.<\/p>\n
I went through dark and painful days. Time moved very slowly,
\nif at all.<\/p>\n
I could never understand how my dad had the heart to divorce
\nmy mom. I couldn't detect anything leading to this separation.<\/p>\n
Dad was the essence of a good husband: full of responsibility,
\nand devoted to his family.<\/p>\n
My brother and I respected him very much.<\/p>\n
He taught us how to live modestly, and how to love others. He
\nalso taught us how to maintain harmony and peace. In our eyes, he
\nhad all the qualities of an angel.<\/p>\n
He often gave us spiritual encouragement when we were feeling
\nlow. But after this letter? He was suddenly just like any
\nordinary man: very fond of his power, giving free rein to his
\ndesires, oppressing the weak, and hurting the feelings of women.<\/p>\n
How my mom should be pitied. How unlucky she was.<\/p>\n
Mom was the figure of a woman who could brave all kinds of
\ntrouble. She fought hard to ensure a better future for us. Thanks
\nto her hard work, my brother and I were able to study at the
\nuniversity.<\/p>\n
We knew she earned more money than my dad, but that did not
\nnecessarily mean that my dad played a smaller role in our
\nupbringing.<\/p>\n
My mother's face flashed before me. A smiling face. A face
\nalways beaming with hospitality. Despite her middle age, she was
\nbeautiful. Her curly hair cut a shoulder length, she looked
\nyounger than her years. She was graceful.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
As the oldest child, I was very close to both of my parents. I
\nwas involved in the family's affairs. Any time my parents made an
\nimportant decision affecting the family, they would ask my
\nopinion.<\/p>\n
Strangely, this time my dad did not ask for my opinion. So
\nsuddenly, he made his decision to divorce my mom.<\/p>\n
Was it because it was a private matter? After all, a divorce
\ninvolves the children, too, doesn't it?<\/p>\n
It is often the case that it is the children who must bear the
\nemotional brunt when their parents separate. Or, perhaps dad did
\nnot ask for my opinion out of fear that I would oppose it?<\/p>\n
Whatever my his reasoning, I did not agree with dad's decision
\nto divorce mom.<\/p>\n
I thought this decision was groundless. To ensure that our
\nfamily would stay intact, I found it hard to imagine us crumbling
\nas our parents went their separate ways. I knew my mom's heart
\nwould be torn to pieces if she was divorced.<\/p>\n
I felt a sudden urge to come home as quickly as possible so
\nthat I could discuss this with my father.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, I first had to take an exam and could not go
\nhome until the week after. I only hoped that my dad would not
\nalert my brother to his idea.<\/p>\n
If he heard the news, my brother would be unable to
\nconcentrate on his studies. Above all, I believed I could pre-
\nempt my dad's decision.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
One evening, I got a call at my boarding house. I thought it
\nwas from my father or my brother.<\/p>\n
Mom rarely called me.<\/p>\n
I was right. It was Andi, my brother, on the other end. \"Three
\ndays ago dad came to see me and said he wanted to divorce mom.
\nHas he told you about it?\"<\/p>\n
I was shocked. Andi had learned of this divorce plan, directly
\nfrom my father. So it was proof that dad did not have to courage
\nto see me. He only wrote me a letter.<\/p>\n
\"Are you sure, Andi? Dad may be just kidding, you know?\" I
\nsaid, feigning ignorance.<\/p>\n
\"Of course. Dad was dead serious when he told me this plan.\"<\/p>\n
\"Still, I don't believe him. He must be lying. Don't you
\nremember that dad is very fond of cracking jokes?\"<\/p>\n
There was silence for a few seconds. Andi might be thinking of
\nways to convince me.<\/p>\n
\"Let's say this is true, what do you think, then? You could
\nhave prevented him, you know?\" I said, trying to get his opinion.<\/p>\n
\"What for? If dad plans to divorce mom, let him do it. This is
\nthe best way for him ... \"<\/p>\n
Hearing this, I began to feel my heart racing.<\/p>\n
I did not realize it when Andi had hung up.<\/p>\n
I felt weak all over. I found it hard to imagine what my
\nfamily would be like in future. I thought Andi could help
\ndiscourage dad from going forward, but he told me plainly that it
\nwas all right for dad to divorce mom.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
It was a bright, sunny morning.<\/p>\n
Andi was still in bed. He had watched TV until into the early
\nmorning. Dad was in the front yard, pruning the trees.<\/p>\n
It had always been dad who took care of our small garden. Mom
\nhad never had the time.<\/p>\n
Oh, mom, I thought to myself, where have you been? Something
\nwas moving deep inside me.<\/p>\n
\"Risti,\" dad called me. I saw dad sitting now on the terrace.
\nI thought he wanted to talk about his plan to divorce mom. I
\nhurried to see him.<\/p>\n
\"I hope you can understand my decision,\" he said, flatly,
\nstaring off into the distance.<\/p>\n
I saw an expression of a heavy burden in his face.<\/p>\n
\"I have been very patient all of these years. I have gotten
\nused to living alone, and taking care of this household. Your mom
\nis rarely home,\" he continued.<\/p>\n
\"I know she is the source of money for our family, but that
\ndoesn't mean I'm really penniless. I can afford to send you to
\nschool, even to the university -- I can afford to support the
\nwhole family if we all live modestly; if you can curb your
\nworldly desires, you will always feel there's something lacking
\nin your life,\" he said, still very softly.<\/p>\n
It passed through my mind that mom was only ever home for a
\nfew days between trips that would last weeks, or even months, on
\nend. For her, the house was nothing more than some kind of train
\nstation, or bus terminal.<\/p>\n
\"Have you discussed this with mom, dad?\" I asked.<\/p>\n
\"Yes. Your mom insists on leading the life she has been living
\nuntil now. She would like to make as much money as possible.<\/p>\n
\"She behaves as if I am useless and cannot support you at all.
\nYou know, happiness does not lie in riches, but in how we are
\nspiritually and physically satisfied. You know all these years
\nI've been very lonely. Very, very lonely ...\"<\/p>\n
I saw the tears begin to well in his eyes.<\/p>\n
\"So do you agree with me?\" he asked. His face was suddenly
\nexpressionless.<\/p>\n
I was quiet for some time.<\/p>\n
Then I nodded slowly. I hugged dad tightly, very closely and I
\ncried.<\/p>\n
Translated by Lie Hua<\/p>", "url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/no-other-choic-1447899208", "image": "" }, "sponsor": "Okusi Associates", "sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com" }