New Year's resolutions are made to be broken<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): Not zero hour of any ol' day, of course, but the
\none that sees out the old year and announces the arrival of the
\nnew. Trouble is, you kind of forget about those resolutions about
\nfive seconds after having made them. How come?<\/p>\n
Well, for one thing, let's consider the circumstances. There I
\nwas, having forgathered with a bunch of like-minded persuns
\n(please note the \"u\" - you'll see why a little later) an hour or
\nthree before midnight at the height of the feast of reason and
\nthe flow of soul, enhanced by generous drops of several kinds of
\nliquid which would cause fire and brimstone to rain down on our
\nheads from certain quarters who have self-styled themselves the
\nmoral guardians of society. I don't know what Nina, our hostess,
\nhad put in the ocean of punch she'd concocted but it was
\nambrosial -- never mind that we would wake up the next mid-day
\nwith that dark brown taste (thank you, Eartha!).<\/p>\n
The get-together of real pals on New Year's Eve has been
\nsomething of a tradition among about a dozen of us for the past
\nfive years or so. It's not that we're constantly on each other's
\ndoorstep throughout the year; it's just that we seem to have lost
\nthe taste for hooting it up at one or other of the functions in
\nthe five-star hotels for which you get bilked of several hundred
\nthousand rups a throw. Besides, anyone venturing out in the
\nJakarta traffic on New Year's Eve must be possessed of a strong
\nself-destructive streak.<\/p>\n
Anyway, to get back to New Year's resolutions. They tend to be
\nmade when you're sort of tipsy, and as the liquid keeps flowing -
\nespecially after duty-free champagne bottles are opened at
\nmidnight - they, the resolutions, get so serious and heavy they'd
\nmerit mention by Ripley if they were ever carried out to the
\nletter. \"I\", declared Benny (Nina's husband), trying to swallow a
\nhiccup, \"will be a better, neater person.\" \"You\", riposted his
\nwife, \"will be nothing of the kind.\" \"Why not?\" \"You'd be
\nboring and impossible to live with.\"<\/p>\n
Jono resolved to do something to get rid of the urge to
\ncollect green bottles, to which someone unkindly suggested that
\nhe'd better not because it would take the rest of his life to pay
\nthe shrinks' bills. \"Stick to your bottles, sweetheart, it may be
\ncheaper.\" Which, as Nina suggested, could well be a moot point
\nbecause he'd have to get increasingly bigger houses to store the
\nconfounded things. Arguments followed about Jono's particular
\ncraving, ranging from declarations of him being an
\nenvironmentalist (i.e. getting rid of unwanted objects) to
\nquestions about his early childhood potty training, to say
\nnothing of certain Freudian tendencies!<\/p>\n
There were many more such crazy resolutions, and when eyes
\nstared in my direction I said that I'd try to be politically
\ncorrect and also cure myself of the desire to become something of
\na computer freak. \"You've been reading those little politically
\ncorrect fairy tales and Christmas stories, haven't you?\" Mira,
\nJono's partner, said. \"Yep,\" I answered, \"from now on it's going
\nto be persunkind, not mankind.\"<\/p>\n
Like all the other resolutions, mine could barely be heard,
\ndrowned in the shrieks and gales of laughter that accompanied the
\npros and cons. As for becoming a computer freak, I was told not
\nto worry too much because they (my \"friends\") would see to it,
\nwith whips if necessary, that I resisted any such urges.<\/p>\n
You live it up, you pay for it later. The very next day, in
\nfact, around, say, one p.m., when you wake up bleary-eyed and
\nwith a morning mouth to end all morning mouths. You ask yourself
\nwhat you've done to deserve all this, and on top of it all,
\nthere's no Alka Seltzer or Eno fruit salt in the house.<\/p>\n
Then you start a mad scramble to put in order whatever needs
\nto be put in order because there will be an avalanche of various
\nrelations descending on you. Are the necessary crockery and
\ncutlery clean? Are there enough goodies around? Do you have
\nsaccharin for aunt Rika who's diabetic? And hide the bottles of
\nburgundy because cousin Nando is far too fond of a tipple than
\ncould ever be good for him.<\/p>\n
So while you dash hither and thither to get organized you
\ncurse whoever it was that declared the first of January a
\nholiday, a day to take things easy. It's nothing of the kind at
\nall; if anything it's Jan. 2 (and Jan. 3, and maybe even Jan. 4)
\nthat should be the day of rest and relaxation.<\/p>\n
But there then comes a knock on your front door, and there's
\naunt Rika, Nando and an assortment of nephews and nieces bleating
\n\"Happy New Year, oom Jak.\" And somehow last night's hangover
\ngradually disappears. Happy New Year to you all.<\/p>\n
-- Jak Jaunt<\/p>", "url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/new-years-resolutions-are-made-to-be-broken-1447893297", "image": "" }, "sponsor": "Okusi Associates", "sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com" }