More advice<\/p>\n
I didn't know exactly how to react when I saw my name in the
\narticle in the By The Way column of The Jakarta Post on Aug. 6,
\n1995. It was first an unpleasant surprise to be confronted in an
\nimaginary \"boxing contest\" with Farid Baskoro. Such an
\nillustration is taboo for Indonesians, especially for the
\nJavanese. Considering that I am an elderly man of almost 70
\nyears, it is an insulting joke against elderly people. This is
\nalso a kind of hooliganism, in another form and other manner.<\/p>\n
However, after finishing the entire article I realized that
\nthe idea isn't as bad as I first thought. The contributor
\nsuggests the Post organize a discussion or debate among letter
\nwriters to Your Letter Column. This column has become a most
\namusing section of the paper. Such a proposed forum could be a
\ntalk show on TV or a radio broadcast. A discussion or debate on
\ncurrent issues in Indonesia and abroad; on the latest polemics in
\nYour Letters, on harassment of certain mixed couples, other
\nbitter experiences of expatriates, etc. It must however avoid
\npolitics.<\/p>\n
Since the initiative comes from the Post, the discussion
\nshould be done in English. It will not be easy for us
\nIndonesians, who lack in English conversation experience. But it
\nmay be considered as a refreshing course for our English. Who
\nknows, such a forum may serve later as a center of information
\nfor the public and expatriates as well.<\/p>\n
Let me now explain my feelings about the case experienced by
\nthe couple Gulliver. Mr. Gulliver claims that when walking with
\nhis Indonesian partner (wife?), offending words are shouted by
\nirresponsible people. Gulliver's partner was so upset when these
\npeople made lascivious guesses as to her profession and required
\ndetails of her tariffs on an hourly rate. Gulliver asked us: \"How
\nshould one respond, when someone calls your wife an albino
\nwhore?\" I fully sympathize with Gulliver and his partner, but
\nwhat advice can be given?<\/p>\n
Life itself is a struggle for everyone and everywhere, without
\nexception and regardless of race, skin color or belief.
\nEspecially for foreigners in a foreign country. Adjusting to the
\nlocal situation is a must. The sooner the better.<\/p>\n
My advice is to know your environment, including your
\nneighbors. Smile at those who stare with curiosity or are hostile
\nto you and your partner. Say \"hello\", which often creates
\nfriendship. These small things seem simple, but they work in many
\ncases.<\/p>\n
Being an old man I have also had many, many bitter experiences
\nduring my life, besides of course the good and sweet ones. You
\nmay learn a good lesson from all your experiences, both the bad
\nand the good ones to gain wisdom. If we believe in the
\nalmightiness of Our Lord, then we can accept the burden that we
\nhave to bear in our life.<\/p>\n
When encountering bad treatment from irresponsible people, we
\nusually react or respond harshly, which can lead to further
\nconflict. It is not simple to avoid this, it requires patience
\nand self control. Ajanta Sarkar gave good advice: \"we should try
\nto overlook one or two solitary instances of racism (if anything
\nof this ever exists) and treat it in a different way.\" I fully
\nagree with Ajanta Sarkar's opinion, that most of our fellow
\nexpatriates have always admired the Indonesians for their
\nimmeasurable patience, accepting nature and self control. I
\nagree, not because I am an Indonesian myself, but because it is
\nso.<\/p>\n
Chandramouli also gave good advice, especially in the Gulliver
\ncase. Being a foreigner in any part of the world, one has to
\nadjust and adopt to the local customs and cultural values of the
\ncountry. Love your surroundings, love your neighbors and they
\nwill love you too. Smile and the world will smile with you.<\/p>\n
ALOYSIUS HARYONO<\/p>\n
Jakarta<\/p>", "url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/more-advice-1447899208", "image": "" }, "sponsor": "Okusi Associates", "sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com" }