Mobile phones spells importance<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): She sashays into the trendy restaurant in her
\nauthentic Gianni Versace black jeans touting the signature gilded
\nlion on the rump pockets. Leaving a trail of Escada's heady scent
\nin her wake, she knows that everyone has noticed her.<\/p>\n
She is too busy to bother soaking up the attention because her
\nworld is revolving around the mobile phone attached to her baby-
\nbottom-pink left ear.<\/p>\n
She walks around with a vacant smile on her face, continually
\nnods in an understanding manner and never utters a word into the
\nmachine while plugging her free ear with a manicured finger so
\nnothing disturbs her important call.<\/p>\n
Her maid, Fitri, has called to remind her to buy an extra
\nbatch of Indomie. They're almost down to the last pack, moans the
\nmaid. Bless Fitri for her timely calls, even if they are
\nreminders for laundry soap or potatoes.<\/p>\n
Whew! Thank goodness none in her entourage of narcissistic,
\nandrogynous young men and women knew it was only Fitri, again.<\/p>\n
Ms All-Important was very up set when Christian Wilhelmi (may
\nhe never own a cellular telephone and always remain ordinary, Mr.
\nUn-Important), and minder-of-other-people's-business Mrs.
\nRosenberg, who started the mobile debate in this newspaper on
\nFeb. 10 with her \"Lunch with a mobile telephone\" letter, caught
\non, noticed that something was amiss and blatantly exposed her in
\nthe Letters column.<\/p>\n
Never mind, we'll deal with the Christian Wilhelmis and
\nRosenbergs and have them deported to Siberia or somewhere equally
\nexciting and phone-less.<\/p>\n
Ms All-Important's imagination tells her that she's a fashion
\nmover. She feels like a million in her GV jeans (paid for with
\nthe housekeeping budget), the heady scent (a gift from Honki
\nTonk), her cockatoo hairdo (created by stylist-to-the-stylish,
\nWim Soeitoe, who holds court at Rudy Hadisuwarno's salon in Plaza
\nIndonesia), and oops, I nearly forgot, the mobile phone.<\/p>\n
The last accessory equals importance, because unimportant
\npeople don't own a cellular phone; and purpose, because important
\npeople need a cellular phone; and flash, because style equates
\nflash in Ms. All-Important's dictionary.<\/p>\n
She is one of the thousands in Jakarta and across ASEAN
\ncities, who ardently believe that what they carry in their hands
\n(besides a Louis Vuitton or Moschino backpack) affects their
\nimage, their purpose in life, their very inspiration. It's Ms
\nAll-Important's joy-toy, her instant acceptance by the All-
\nImportant-Set and her identity mascot. She might discard lovers,
\nor friends, but she would never abandon her cellular.<\/p>\n
Ms All-Important will always be faithful to it, and carry it
\nwith her to pubs, restaurants, banks, cinemas and other places
\nfrequented by Christian Wilhelmi, the Rosenbergs and the
\nundersigned. She moaned into it deliriously when she was running
\na temperature of 103F. She carries it with her on dates, to the
\ndentist, supermarket, hairdresser and to her fitness club. This
\nis her style.<\/p>\n
So how dare some ordinary mortals sit in judgment of her and
\nlabel her Ms All-Important just because she owns a mobile phone
\nand they don't. See, a cellular is an attention-grabbing
\ninstrument, even if, as in this instance, all it did was draw
\nchuckles from the readers of The Jakarta Post.<\/p>\n
I suppose that, we, the \"unarmed\", will hopelessly attempt to
\ncomprehend her unbelievable style, or non-style.<\/p>\n
Although every major ASEAN city boasts these iridescent,
\nattention-craving creatures, I certainly hope that the Jakartan
\nversion will be herded into \"mobile phone areas\" and completely
\ncordoned off in padded cells. There, they can forever listen
\nunruffled to timely calls from their maids Fitri, Kusmini and
\nIra.<\/p>\n
Let Ms All-Important have a breather while we look at her male
\ncounterpart.<\/p>\n
He wears the male version of Gianni Versace's jeans, smells
\nlike a barbershop bathed in Calvin Klein's Obsession, sports a
\nchunky 22-carat gold identity bracelet and stuffs his mobile into
\nthe his back pocket. He shuffles along wanting to blend into the
\ncrowd, not wishing his status symbol to be noticed. However, his
\nshuffle encourages the \"unarmed\" group to notice the mobile from
\nthe rear. Very subtle.<\/p>\n
He is Mr. Subtle-Show-Off. Women seeking a life mate of this
\ndescription are advised to head for Pondok Indah Mall on Sundays.
\nYou'll be able show him off to mother if you catch him while he
\nis still unattached and if he notices you at all.<\/p>\n
The attached species of Mr. Subtle-Show-Off usually struts
\naround the mall with Mrs. All-Important and Baby All-Important,
\nwho is dressed in the best of Osh Kosh designer kiddywear and is
\nperambulating in a baby stroller with a Fitri clone at the
\ncontrols.<\/p>\n
The mobile rings and invades your reverie and smashes your
\ndream of ever finding a charming Mr. Subtle-Show-Off for
\nyourself. He hands the cellular to Mrs. All-Important, who
\ninstantly switches on her long distance smile and listens in
\nwrapped silence to one of her maids remind her that a fresh
\nsupply of sweet potatoes is sorely needed.<\/p>",
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