Marking time with a cancer survivor<\/p>\n
By Grace Segran<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): We were sitting in the International
\nBaccalaureate (IB) coordinator's office two weeks before school
\nwas about to start. My daughter Elizabeth had waited all summer
\nfor this occasion -- to discuss her IB program with the school.
\nShe had just got A's for her GCSE O levels, and was ready for the
\nIB challenge.<\/p>\n
As I sat there and watched her discuss energetically about her
\nchoice of subjects and activities for the two-year program, I
\ncould feel a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. Having just
\ncompleted chemotherapy and radiation for stage 2 breast cancer, I
\nwondered if I was going to be here when my baby graduates from
\nhigh school in 2001. Would I be able to share with Elizabeth the
\njoy and pain of growing up and the academic events of these two
\nexciting years?<\/p>\n
I prayed that God would allow me to do so.<\/p>\n
The school year, like birthdays and anniversaries and
\nChristmases and New Years, are milestones that mark the passage
\nof time. They have since become very special to us. When you have
\ncancer and your days are numbered, every milestone becomes a
\ncelebration of life itself. And a thanksgiving to God, the giver
\nof life.<\/p>\n
There is another day that has become a milestone in our lives
\n-- the day of my diagnosis. We remember it with much sadness and
\npain but with each passing year, we get closer to the magical
\nfifth year of remission. At this point in time, I have a 45
\npercent chance of getting cancer again. With five consecutive
\nyears of remission (i.e. no sign of cancer), my \"cancer\" clock
\nwill be reset to zero. This means that my chances of getting it
\nagain will be the same as everyone else's. One year of remission
\nis over, four more to go!<\/p>\n
Surgery, radiation and chemotherapy may thrust a cancer
\npatient into remission, but fear of recurrence continues to
\nintimidate and hangs over one's head like Damocles' sword. It is
\na very real fear and there are documented statistics to show the
\nrate of recurrence for certain cancers, depending on how far gone
\nit was when it was discovered.<\/p>\n
But ultimately, these are only statistics and in my case, I
\npray that I am in the 55 percent group that will not get cancer
\nagain. I cannot, and will not, let the fear consume me. Or else I
\nmight as well give up living now. I cannot live life as though I
\nwas going to die soon. So I choose to live it with hope. It is
\nonly then that I am able to live life to the fullest.<\/p>\n
I have been learning a lot about life from my sixteen year
\nold. For example, she has taught me that it is more enjoyable to
\npurchase things that are fun and exciting to look at. Ever the
\npractical person, I buy things that will serve their purpose well
\nand that look like they are going to last forever. I am often
\nsuspicious of things that look pretty -- how can something so
\nfrivolous be practical? Somehow utility and beauty do not jive in
\nmy mind.<\/p>\n
Well, I have found that since then it is certainly more
\nenjoyable to eat toast from a plate with Piglet on it rather than
\nfrom a plain white Royal Dulton that is going to match my other
\npieces of crockery. And when this trusty but plain-looking
\ncomputer becomes obsolete, I would like an iMac because it looks
\nso cool!<\/p>\n
Another lesson that I have learned from Elizabeth is the
\nimportance of making memories. Tradition creates memories, and
\nElizabeth loves tradition. That is why she loves to celebrate
\nbirthdays and annual festivals such as Christmas and New Year.<\/p>\n
Elizabeth loves to take pictures and then set them up in a
\nscrap book or album. We have loads of photos that she has taken
\nduring vacations and many other occasions. Once in a while she
\ndrags us two old fogeys to the sofa and relives those memories. I
\nnow see the importance and value of these activities; the
\nmemories will be the legacy that I will leave her.<\/p>\n
Learning to defer gratification was one of the things I had
\ntaught Elizabeth as a child. But now that is exactly what I do
\nnot do -- I want to do many things and do it NOW. There is an
\nurgency to experience new things, to go to old, familiar places
\nas well as new destinations, to enjoy life as much as possible.<\/p>\n
You do not have to wait till you have cancer to celebrate
\nlife, to live it to the fullest or to make happy memories. Do it
\nnow.<\/p>\n
Grace Segran (rsegran@cbn.net.id) was a former editor of
\nparenting and health magazines in Singapore. She now lives in
\nJakarta and freelances for various publications.<\/p>",
"url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/marking-time-with-a-cancer-survivor-1447893297",
"image": ""
},
"sponsor": "Okusi Associates",
"sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com"
}